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"Cat"astrophe (Vanity and attempted humor)
Personal experience | 3/6/2011 | RoseyT

Posted on 03/06/2011 9:12:58 AM PST by RoseyT

Not just anyone would be willing to share a story like this. Since I'm me, I will.

Do not attempt to give a cat a pill. The vet will tell you it's a simple procedure. Comfort said kitty, gently open her mouth, pop in the pill, and stroke her throat so she'll swallow the medicine. He might even suggest you tightly wrap her in a towel, so as to protect yourself, although he will use no protection at all.

Here's what will really happen. You'll comfort the kitty. "Sweet, Cutie! This medicine is going to help you feel better!" You'll proceed to wrap her in a towel. (You've tried to medicate this cat before and you know you'd have better luck dealing with a mountain lion but you love her so you are willing to try again.) As you're wrapping her up, she will begin to growl. Yes, growl. Not meow. Not purr. G R O W L. You'll successfully wrap her up, ignoring your growing fear of her fierce cat growl, making sure all of her feet are tightly bound with only her head remaining outside the towel.

As you attempt to approach her mouth with the pill, she will retract her head into the towel. In doing so, she will manage to free up enough space to get one front leg out of her bindings and she will strike out at the nearest body part. This body part might happen to be your nose. You will feel indescribable pain. You WILL release her, as your instinct will be to stem the flow of blood pouring from your mangled nose with your t-shirt. (It's possible that the shirt you're wearing will be white.) Your child, whom you recruited to assist you, will stare in horror. They might not be aware that so much blood can flow so quickly. You will cry real tears as the pain feels like what you'd expect a red hot poker inserted in your nostril would feel like. Or maybe it will feel like the shots dentists give in the roof of your mouth. And there will be no warning. The cat will not say "You're going to feel a little pinch now." (Even if it said that, it would be a lie. Cats are notorious liars.) It might feel like a pinch...with vise grips... and it will last for what seems like an eternity.

Once you are able to stand, you will look into the mirror and see a rip that came close to going completely through the skin of your nose. It will hurt fiercely for an hour or two. During that time, you will hate the cat and wish death upon her. You will be relieved that the wound wasn't a little deeper and that it didn't require stitches because you know the ER staff would have laughed behind your back that your cat KICKED YOUR BUTT. Once the bleeding subsides, your 14 year old will make the following comment. "I guess we don't have to worry about you wanting to get your nose pierced, huh?"

You will wake the next morning wondering how a zit could form so quickly. Is it inside your nose or outside? It's hard to tell! And, my God, it must be the size of Mount Vesuvius. It would have to be to hurt so much! Then the horror of the events of the previous evening will come rushing back and you will realize that it isn't a zit at all. And you will once again wish death upon the cat. You might feel guilt for your awful wish. But then again, maybe not.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: evil; kitty; kittyping
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To: TheOldLady
All I have to do to get my cat to take a pill is to disguise it as my pencil. Voilà!


41 posted on 03/06/2011 12:12:53 PM PST by bigheadfred (THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN)
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To: Hodar

you’ll like this


42 posted on 03/06/2011 12:21:07 PM PST by zlala
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To: PA Engineer

Yeah, and when I was a kid, by far the “baby” of the family, I made the very best coffee of anybody in the house. I got to be the only one who made the coffee because I was “good at it.”

LOL! Get it?


43 posted on 03/06/2011 12:21:50 PM PST by TheOldLady
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To: bigheadfred

Maybe you could get the pills to be shaped like pencil eraser?


44 posted on 03/06/2011 12:22:37 PM PST by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady
LOL! Get it?

Yep. No good deed every goes without punishment. ;-)
45 posted on 03/06/2011 12:41:08 PM PST by PA Engineer (Liberate America from the occupation media. There are Wars and Rumors of War.)
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To: RoseyT

I just demonstrated my cat pilling method to a pet sitting client this morning. She and DH have been using a pill popper and two people...

To here amazement I dose the cat in less than 15 seconds, not towel, no claws, no bites...kitty didn’t even know what happened...


46 posted on 03/06/2011 12:49:07 PM PST by EBH ( Whether you eat your bread or see it vanish into a looter's stomach, is an absolute.)
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To: EBH

Do you use the method I discussed in post #35? When my brother does it, the pill is down before the cat knows what has happened.


47 posted on 03/06/2011 12:56:09 PM PST by Ditter
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To: Ditter

Method is similar, but leave the cat on the floor. Place cat between your knees, cross your feet behind you so the cat can’t back up too much, one hand on top of head ...thumb and finger force open jaws, push pill all the way to the back of throat, close mouth and touch kitty’s nose to trigger swallowing. Follow with a 1ml. water chaser.

Some pills can be very bitter, coat them bad boys in butter first.


48 posted on 03/06/2011 1:05:26 PM PST by EBH ( Whether you eat your bread or see it vanish into a looter's stomach, is an absolute.)
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To: EBH

That it! He has the cat sitting on his examining table leaning against his fore arm with his hand and fingers around the cats head forcing the jaws open. The swaying the cat back and forth was important too, it kept the cats attention away from what was actually going on.


49 posted on 03/06/2011 1:13:06 PM PST by Ditter
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To: Ditter

Many people are afraid they will get their fingers bit.

But, if your other hand is holding the jaws open properly until you get the pill to the back of the throat ....they can’t bite you.

I equate the method to bridling a horse, just a smaller critter.

Have a great day!


50 posted on 03/06/2011 1:17:00 PM PST by EBH ( Whether you eat your bread or see it vanish into a looter's stomach, is an absolute.)
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To: Lx

That looks like a foot bath. I guess it could be both!


51 posted on 03/06/2011 1:26:01 PM PST by A knight without armor
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To: A knight without armor

We adopted a cat left behind by neighbors who moved (we quickly found out why Kitty didn’t make the trip). Dude, as we named him, was snuggled in a box with some tools in our garage, so we brought him in the house. Husband tried to pick him up again, and Dude bit him between his thumb and first finger. 8 hrs. in the ER on an IV.

Two weeks later, I tried to pick him up when he didn’t care to be touched, and he bit me between my thumb and first finger. Trip to same ER, same staff on duty, many hoots of laughter as they hooked me up for my 8 hr. IV. In both cases, our hands swelled immediately and were very painful.

Dude turned out to be a great pet, once he had bitten us both to show us who was boss. He ordered our three big dogs around and chased them regularly for entertainment. Nobody in their right mind messed with him.


52 posted on 03/06/2011 5:21:31 PM PST by Mjaye
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To: johnpannell; RoseyT
Yes to the pill pockets. I even a couple of cats that won't just eat the pill pocket so I wrap the pill in it and shove the entire thing down their throat.

It's amazing how much easier it is when wrapped in that thing.

Hope your nose feels better soon! I had the death wish one time (with immediate regrets) when attempting to give subcutaneous fluids to my diabetic kitty. He bolted, needle came out.....water flying everywhere. Just like in a cartoon!

53 posted on 03/06/2011 5:33:14 PM PST by CAluvdubya (Don't retreat...reload!.....and no, I'm not changing my tagline! Pray for Sarah and her family)
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To: EBH
Method is similar, but leave the cat on the floor. Place cat between your knees, cross your feet behind you so the cat can’t back up too much, one hand on top of head ...thumb and finger force open jaws, push pill all the way to the back of throat, close mouth and touch kitty’s nose to trigger swallowing. Follow with a 1ml. water chaser. Some pills can be very bitter, coat them bad boys in butter first.

This is exactly what I do. Instead of butter, I wrap the pill or pills (I often times use up to three pills at once) in a pill pocket, then shove it down their throat.

54 posted on 03/06/2011 5:54:49 PM PST by CAluvdubya (Don't retreat...reload!.....and no, I'm not changing my tagline! Pray for Sarah and her family)
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To: Daffynition; All

That cat holder is hysterical!

I’ve enjoyed all the replies and truly appreciate the concern. My nose is sore but not really swollen and I’m keeping ointment on it.

Maybe one of us will work up enough nerve to try one of the other suggested methods...eventually...someday. lol


55 posted on 03/06/2011 6:17:03 PM PST by RoseyT
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To: Fantasywriter
A cat taco, eh? Is that anything like a purrito?


56 posted on 03/06/2011 6:41:09 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Irritating a libtard is fun, and requires very little imagination.)
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To: RoseyT

I loved the thread... reminisce the days we had 3 cats...all characters. I could never get pills down w/out incurring scratches and upsetting the poor cat so...she wouldn’t speak to me for weeks! The vet or vet assistant would *make* it look so easy! LOL

Hope you heal quickly!


57 posted on 03/06/2011 7:25:20 PM PST by Daffynition ( DBKP ~ Death By 1000 Papercuts)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

What a cute kitty! Now that you mention it, I think the vet actually said ‘cat burrito’, not ‘cat taco’. Oh well.

I love those baby blues. It must be a Siamese. I have one of those. Whew. She is a handful!


58 posted on 03/06/2011 8:52:09 PM PST by Fantasywriter
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To: cookiedough

Try imitation crab meat. I ate some, didn’t like it, so I offered it to my cat. She went wild over it and I moved ot take the bowl and she hissed her brains out at me.


59 posted on 03/06/2011 9:30:13 PM PST by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: RoseyT

I still have the scars on the top of my head from trying to give my cat a pill.

Now, the just grind it up, and slip it to them that way.

They say Hell Hath no Fury like a woman Scorned?

HA! The cat beats the woman fury everytime.


60 posted on 03/06/2011 10:59:26 PM PST by Shadowstrike (Be polite, Be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
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