Posted on 03/01/2011 9:05:12 PM PST by PhilosopherStone1000
So I'm 50. I have a very smart, very beautiful daughter who is a junior in high school.
Every day, I wake up and say to myself "Crap. I'm still alive."
I feel like I've done my job. I have give birth to and raised an extraordinary human being. There's nothing I can do now to advance her career or life.
How much does God expect me to endure? When can I say "I've had enough?" At what point is it rational to jump off that bridge simply because one is tired of putting up with all the crap?
don’t be silly. i am forty something and i still need my dad. need something rewired, call dad. need a tree stump pulled out, call dad (he has the tractor and is not afraid to use it), need someone to listen while i rant about something completely stupid, call dad (he turns off the hearing aid, catches every third word and says “you’re absolutely right” a lot). my dad will be 70 yrs old this year and i am so grateful that he is still here and still mostly healthy. i live with the fear that sometime soon he may be taken from us.
do not ever believe your daughter does not need you because it isn’t true. she will always need her dad.
A smart, beautiful 16-year-old is lost in a world of sharks. Older men will eat her up if she does not have a parent.
My parents have lived wonderful lives for almost 30 years past 50. They have experienced so much pleasure, love, and depth of life.
Your life is needed. Help people less fortunate and bingo, your world will have meaning. If you are alone without love, get out there and live, and you will find love, in unexpected ways. In a couple years you may be helping someone else with depression learn that his life has value too.
I’d be amiss if I didn’t insist you get omega 3 oils in your diet today. Today. Go out and get a nice chunk of fresh or frozen wild Alaska salmon today and eat it tonight. Buy at a good health food store or from www.iherb.com a quality,expensive, not from china brand of omega 3 fish oil. Take the therapeutic dose daily.
We are supposed to have a ratio of omega 3 to omega 6 fats, and most of us just get the crappy vegetable oils in our diet daily from crappy food. This leaves us wholly depressed all the time.
The same world looks much better, even with all it’s flaws, when you are healthy. Your diet is the hugest part of your health. The world and it’s problems give some people energy to make it better. Or to make your small circle better. Prayers up for you, go get that salmon.
I can certainly understand. I hope you are better now.
I am sad that you also feel life is worthless. I am sorry you were betrayed. But you lived through it, and you are someone of value. Please get omega 3 oils prominently into your diet, salmon will go well with wine, and see a change of your mood. Prayer is being sent to heaven for you as well.
A priceless, irreplacable thing. A father. I'm a woman in my fifties and I still yearn for mine. It colors everything I do in my life.
Wow.
True.
Sounds like Dolores Aguilar...
http://redwolf.newsvine.com/_news/2008/08/17/1757371-obituaries-dolores-aguilar
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.
She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.
Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.
Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.
There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.
Yep, that sounds like her.
She liked nothing better than a good fight. As she lay dying, she showed her father the outfit she wanted to be buried in. She made him promise to bury her in that outfit, and don’t let anyone bury her in anything else. Then she told her best friend to buy her an outfit to be buried in, and made her promise she’d be buried in that outfit. Then she told her mother to buy her an outfit to be buried in. Her parents were divorced, and neither of them liked her best friend, so they were ripe for the picking. All three of these people promised her, on her death bed, to bury her in a different outfit. When they all gathered at the funeral home, each carrying a different outfit, it was the greatest fight she ever orchestrated, and she didn’t even get to witness it. She mastered her craft.
Get Ready for Prostate Cancer Awareness Month!
Who else? ^ | 2/25/2011 | Red Rooster
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2682151/posts?page=4#4
LOL! I used to hang out at the Russian River Brew Pub in Santa Rosa (before I moved) and every October they would auction off designer (designed by local residents) bras for “breast cancer awareness month”.
Of course my (now) 15 year old daughter would roll her eyes whenever October rolled around and I would trot out my tired Dad line: “But EVERY month is breast awareness month.” Her: (eye roll) Dad! Ah, mammeries..
How ironic.
Hmmmm..just happened last November. Interesting.
OK...PhilosopherStone1000 come out and explain now and you get a pass. If you show up later we may have to get nasty.
Dear adminmod;
PhilosopherStone1000 was threatening to "checkout" on the forum last night and his last post (#10) was just after midnight ET. He just stopped posting. I don't know if there is anything you can do. We did find out he is a drinker. That is all. Thanks.
That was beautifully said.
My BIL died at the age of 47 last year from heart disease caused by his life long diabetes. He left behind a 17, 16, and 12 year old daughter and a loving wife. Not a day goes by that one of them does not express distress over the loss of their loved one.
/sarc - If you really want to go only when your daughter does not need you any more, give her a gun and a single bullet with your name engraved on it, with instructions to shoot you when she no longer wants you around./sarc
Here his how it affects survivors, especially sons and
daughters (from Salon):
Dear Cursed by Legacy,
Your letter made me sad. I get sad when I hear how parental suicide reverberates through the years. I get sad when a person like yourself tries hard to live a decent life but that life must be lived in the margins of trauma, in the echo and shadow of that early blow. I get sad about the terrible theft that is parental suicide, the hollowing out of a child’s emerging self. And I get sad about what may happen if you continue coping with this in the way you are now.
According to a 2010 study, “Those who lost a parent to suicide as children or teens were three times more likely to commit suicide than children and teenagers with living parents.”
You don’t want to leave a destructive legacy.
By committing suicide, the parent is telling the child that the suicide option is okay.
You can check out any time you like...
But you can never leave...
Might as well sit back and enjoy the ride (such as it is) along with the rest of us.
I’m the Father of a ten year old girl. I’ll be damned if I let her grow up in this world without me guiding and teaching her. Suicide is the most selfish thing that you can do, it is the easy way out. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, your life is not your own. Ultimately life isn’t all about us. Many times in my life I have wondered why put up with all this crap, why deal with all the struggles, and to keep things in perspective I remember Scripture. When the time is up and the Angels start to tear down this facade we call life, we will all look on as everything that we lived for is burned up; the bad feelings are just another obstacle; what keeps me going is that I know that there are no guarantees in this life, it is what it is. The only real consolation for me is that I know that there is a God, and a Heaven, and I trust my Commanding Officer. Live for God, and take your eyes off of yourself.
I wish I knew who wrote it. It was very helpful to me at one time. I keep it in hopes it will help someone else as well.
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