“OH! OHH!!! OHHHHH!!!!!”
Posted on 02/24/2011 10:47:23 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
2002’s Undercover Brother looked primed to make comic and consummate scene-stealer Eddie Griffin a bona fide movie star. The film was a commercial and critical success, but the expected sequels have not been forthcoming and Griffin has spent the ensuing years alternating between stand-up comedy and small but memorable roles in flashy fare like Norbit. Griffin is no stranger to bit parts: He made his film debut as “Gas Station Attendent” in manager/mentor Andrew “Dice” Clay’s concert film Dice Rules before playing characters like “Ventriloquist” in The Five Heartbeats, “Messenger” in Brain Donors and, of course, “Guest at Kid’s Bachelor Party” in House Party 3. From 1996 to 2000, Griffin co-starred opposite Malcolm Jamal-Warner in Malcolm & Eddie (a sitcom that was mercilessly mocked in the web series that inspired Undercover Brother.) Griffin recently released a DVD of his latest stand-up special, Eddie Griffin: You Can Tell ’Em I Said It. (Griffin appears at Jokerz for a run of shows that begins March 3.)
Eddie Griffin: You Can Tell ’Em I Said It (2011)
The A.V. Club: How do you think you’ve evolved as a stand-up over the last 20 years or so?
Eddie Griffin: Let’s see, it’s gotten wittier, it’s gotten smarter, and the subject matter has gotten grittier.
AVC: What do you mean by grittier?
EG: I’m taking more chances, daring to say what people think.
AVC: What kind of things do you think people think but are afraid to say for whatever reason?
EG: I think men are afraid to say that they would love to have Michelle Obama in their bed, but they think it.
AVC: Why would they be afraid to say that?
EG: You know, Secret Service showing up at your house, sh*t like that.....
(Excerpt) Read more at avclub.com ...
Hi! My name is Eddie and I’ve got some minor Hollywood chops so, my worldview revolves around my genitals.
“I think men are afraid to say that they would love to have Michelle Obama in their bed,...”
It’s true. I’m afraid to say it because if I did I might actually puke on somebody and be so traumatized by the visual that I would never be able to perform in bed again.
You sir, are a God-send.
No. Mrs Obama is my dream woman. If she was divorced, I would hit that, nonstop.
These idiot comics always think they are the ones breaking the barriers, being edgy. It’s as if Lenny Bruce, Redd Foxx, George Carlin or Richard Pryor never existed.
Solo: I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss.
I like 'em tall, but I do prefer less than an axe handle's width across the hips...
“OH! OHH!!! OHHHHH!!!!!”
Ditto.
Ditto.
Ditto.
Ditto.
IF you woke up to find Michelle Obama next to you, that would mean several truly horrific scenarios played out.
One: YOU’VE BEEN ABDUCTED FOOL!
Get the heck out if you aren’t restrained!
Two: You’re being setup!
DUH, obviously!
Three: You will be found later in a landfill or Fort Marcy park.
Try not to scream yourself hoarse during the next few remining minutes of life.
On the plus side: You don’t have that long left to live.
There would be no hole deep enough to bury the mattress, were that to hapepen.
Goes for that Burger King king, too.
Sorry Eddie, I only have sex with humans.
The night dont get dark enough and there aint a large enough paperbag in the world that would make her look sexy.
It’s a tough call, but Moochelle barely edges out Helen Thomas on my list of fantasy dates...for last place.
To paraphrase Mr. Babbage, I am not rightly able to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a statement.
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