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Dave Says - February 7, 2011 (Dave Ramsey)
Dave Ramsey Web Site ^ | February 7, 2011 | Dave Ramsey

Posted on 02/10/2011 12:33:27 PM PST by CSM

Girlfriend's money problems

Dear Dave,

I’m fairly responsible with finances, but my girlfriend is in a terrible financial situation with a lot of credit card debt, an expensive car payment, and a big, fancy apartment. Plus, she just quit her job because she didn’t like it anymore. Now, she’s thinking about filing bankruptcy and thinks us moving in together will help solve her problems. If she can’t handle her finances on her own, what’s going to happen if we get together? Can you help?

Dino

Dear Dino,

This is someone to keep dating, not marry right now or move in with, and see if she changes her spending habits. You’d have a very tough life being married to this woman, unless she makes some real attitude adjustments where her money is concerned.

I can’t say if she’s technically bankrupt, but she definitely needs to move into a cheaper apartment and sell the car for starters. Still, bankruptcy’s not going to solve anything if she’s got a heart problem. By this, I mean if she buys stuff to try and make her happy and lives beyond her means in the process.

Lots of people have the idea that they are what they drive, or they are where they live. Those are heart problems, and that’s the way I was many years ago until I had some sense knocked into me by going broke. Then, I realized I had to stop and make some changes.

This doesn’t mean that she isn’t worthy of your love or she’s a terrible person, but it does mean that the girl has got some growing up to do. Money matters aside, you don’t quit your job without a plan unless you’re being sexually harassed or abused, or there’s some matter of principle at stake. Leaving one job for another is okay. But the idea of deciding you just don’t like something, and walking away from it when you’ve got a bunch of bills, is just plain irresponsible.

She’s probably not bankrupt, but there are some definite character issues that need to be addressed. Hopefully, you two can work through this together.

—Dave

So, he knows how to manage money?

Dear Dave,

My husband likes to borrow money on fix-up projects around the house. He says he knows how to manage money, and will pay the loans back quickly. The other day, he came to me for money to make the payment on the latest loan he took out. Then, he started fussing at me when I didn’t have the money to make the payment. It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened. How can I make it stop?

Crystal

Dear Crystal,

This guy needs a swift kick in his rear end! He says he knows how to manage money, but he doesn’t know how to save up to re-wire the garage?

It sounds to me like you’ve got am overgrown teenager on your hands instead of a husband. It’s bad enough that he can’t take care of his own responsibilities, but then he turns around and fusses when you won’t do it for him. That’s ridiculous!

Marriage is all about unity. Once the rings go on those fingers it’s a we thing, not a me thing. Husbands and wives should work together to form a game plan that will help them win in life, and that includes finances.

I think you should take the money he’s asking for and use it to see a good marriage counselor. There are some real issues here that need attention. You guys need to deal with them, and create a real marriage, before this situation gets any worse!

—Dave


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: daveramsey; financialpeace
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To: MEGoody

Because you’ll value something you have to pay for, and because a workman is worthy of his hire. You’ll save many times $100 if you take the course, what’s the big beef about $100?


21 posted on 02/10/2011 1:57:27 PM PST by Shimmer1 (My sympathy co-efficient for illegals is about zero)
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To: CSM; Diana in Wisconsin; iceskater
Hello, let me introduce myself. I am CSM, but my friends call me toy!

You forgot to introduce yourself to another friend :)

Hi all! I only discovered today that I can you my daughter's kindle to play on line.....it's a pain in the patoot, but at least I know I can show up a little more often. Which is a good thing (at least for me anyway) It really is a pain typing sideways.....LOL!!!!

I've got to run, but will try to pop in a bit more often -- like maybe tomorrow when she's in school (it was cancelled today bewcause of the weather)

22 posted on 02/10/2011 1:59:59 PM PST by Gabz (Democrats for Voldemort.)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin; Gabz

My next husband will BE my boytoy!


23 posted on 02/10/2011 2:01:19 PM PST by Shimmer1 (My sympathy co-efficient for illegals is about zero)
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To: Gabz

If I were you I would start installing the dishwasher myself. One of two things will likely happen: 1) You’ll finsh it and learn a skill, or 2) Hubby will finish the job, finally. With my DH, it’s usually #2. He has seen my work, and we both know that his skills and knowledge are far superior to mine. (I have installed a dishwasher— and a lot of other stuff — in my time, but that was before I was married to this fine man.)


24 posted on 02/10/2011 2:06:24 PM PST by Bigg Red (Palin in 2012)
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To: Gabz; iceskater

Sorry iceskater. When I went in to post mode I couldn’t remember your moniker......I humbly offer my apologies.


25 posted on 02/10/2011 2:23:48 PM PST by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: iceskater

“Dino - run like your hair is on fire!”

Don’t you mean “run like a gazelle trying to get away from a cheetah?”


26 posted on 02/10/2011 2:25:01 PM PST by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Gabz

GAAAAABBBZZZ!

I miss you, Girl! I know I’ve been a terrible friend off-line; no more excuses for that!

But it’s so WONDERFUL to see you surface here from time to time. Make it a habit! :)

My love to Kidlet & Hub. :)


27 posted on 02/10/2011 2:29:07 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Gabz

As always, you’re correct! :)

I’ve been informed that the ‘next guy’ has to pass the ‘sniff test’ of at least a dozen friends and family to even DATE me!

So, as no one can resist a coconut-scented Cabana Boy... I’ll be set for life, LOL!


28 posted on 02/10/2011 2:32:01 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: MEGoody

I love Dave, but it’s a BUSINESS. And he has bills to pay to spread the word.

If you don’t want to take the class, check out his books from the library. Start with the basic ‘Financial Peace’ but get the newest edition they have. Heck, your Tax dollars are pyaing for your library, anyway. (One of the FEW places I don’t mind spending tax dollars...)

That’s where I started and it has paid off handsomely. :)


29 posted on 02/10/2011 2:38:20 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Shimmer1

You go, Girl! I’m right behind you! :)


30 posted on 02/10/2011 2:39:29 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: CSM

Pass the coconut oil! :)

Sorry we ‘Dirty Old Ladies’ kind of hi-jacked your thread, LOL!


31 posted on 02/10/2011 2:41:29 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: CSM; Gabz

Apology accepted but I don’t think you’re going to get the boytoy job now..... ;)


32 posted on 02/10/2011 3:19:32 PM PST by iceskater (11/2/10 - the beginning of the beginning of restoration.)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

My qualifying tests are answers to the following questions.

“What is your opinion on 2nd amendment?”
“What is your opinion of the Tea Party.”

Those two pretty much cull the herd.


33 posted on 02/10/2011 3:23:17 PM PST by iceskater (11/2/10 - the beginning of the beginning of restoration.)
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To: iceskater

Brilliant!

As I’ve heard said around here a time or two...”I didn’t KNOW s/he was a Liberal when I married him/her!”

Never again. I mean it! I will NOT dilute the Gene Pool any further. I promise, LOL!


34 posted on 02/10/2011 3:53:14 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

“My NEXT husband will have the personality of Scrooge McDuck.”
Funny you should mention him. He and Wonder Woman were my role models growing up.


35 posted on 02/10/2011 6:17:47 PM PST by Silentgypsy
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

My life is too short to waste any more time with people who don’t see things the way I do. If they don’t understand the purpose of the 2nd amendment and if they think the Tea Party is a bunch of racist crazy people, then I got no time for them.

I’d rather be alone than wish I were. Been there, done that. Never again.


36 posted on 02/10/2011 7:00:48 PM PST by iceskater (11/2/10 - the beginning of the beginning of restoration.)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

Yeah Girl- it is February.


37 posted on 02/10/2011 9:07:08 PM PST by handmade
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To: Diana in Wisconsin
If you don’t want to take the class, check out his books from the library.

Hubby and I have read his book and are doing pretty well implementing his plan. It just irked me that he was charging $100 per couple PLUS charging the church when (I thought) the point of FPU was to reach out to those who are financially hurting. Seems like Dave has almost become a "rock star" and has lost his way a little bit.

But of course, that's just my opinion.

38 posted on 02/11/2011 5:42:15 AM PST by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: Shimmer1
What’s the big beef about $100?

$100 buys a lot of rice and beans and could keep the electricity on for another month for someone who is financially hurting. And after all, I thought that was the people Dave primarily wanted to reach.

39 posted on 02/11/2011 5:45:50 AM PST by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: MEGoody

I know what $100 does and I also know that anyone with internet can afford it IF THEY WANT TO.


40 posted on 02/11/2011 6:09:55 AM PST by Shimmer1 (My sympathy co-efficient for illegals is about zero)
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