Posted on 01/10/2011 4:21:49 PM PST by nickcarraway
Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
If you have survived medical school, the world is your oyster. Doctors earn so much money, that they could simply work a few years and then drop out and live on their savings if they wanted to retrain in something else at college (if retraining was required, a medical degree should be more than good enough for most other jobs) You can easily become a journalist or become a businessman (that doesn’t even need qualifications, all you need is the brains you were born with. My boss is a multimillionaire and he left school at 16 and never even went to university)...
“So. What do you two do for fun?”
“Fun?”
“You know. Something you really enjoy doing.”
“Ah! Humor. It is a difficult concept.”
“Agreed, sister. But I find a measure of satisfaction in solving for ‘x.’ And didn’t you say that diagraming Dear Leader’s sentences is a pleasant past-time?”
“I did! And I do! Sometimes they’re a real pickle!”
What a messed up parenting philosophy.
Poor kids.
OH, please. This woman didn’t allow her children to “run wild” and go have unstructured playtime. *Gasp* They might accidently get a look at a CARTOON.
Wow, this mother is utterly bonkers. Letting your kids drift aimlessly through life is one thing, sucking out their childhood and setting them up for a nervous breakdown is quite another. If her kids have turned out alright, she’s damned lucky she gave birth to kids who were talented enough to meet her high standards...
I had the immense pleasure in working with a tremendously attractive gal who was from China and who's work ethic in our corporate MIS dept was unequalled.
You would not believe the demands she and her husband put on their children. I wouldn't really say " demands" since they were actually "expectations" that they met. Every aspect of school which included academics, a sport, extra languages was all required by her and her husband.
In other words, they demanded the same thing from their kids as parents who sent their kids to catholic schools back in the 40's and 50's.......excellence.
Well then, lets just dumb down the expectations of our kids shall we?
Holy bejebus, look at how bigoted that title is. Can you imagine if it said "Why White Mothers are Superior"?
Unbelievable. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would have the Wall Street Journal bankrupted and sold into receivership to the NAACP by Friday.
It's just more evidence of what I've been saying for years: that "anti-racism" is just code for anti-white.
Speaking of chinese restaurants, have you noticed that no matter where you go in America, the menus are pretty much the same? Egg Foo Yong, beef and broccoli, teriyaki beef on a stick, pork fried rice, general tso's chicken, well, you get the picture.
Then at the end of the meal, they bring you the bill along with the fortune cookies and the cubes of pineapple with toothpicks sticking out of them. Always the same thing everytime!
Also, have you noticed that on the rum-based drinks like scorpion bowls, fog cutters and mai tais, they always go very light on the rum? Well, I discovered how to get the drinks to be made stronger. Before getting seated at a table, go to the bar first and order your first drink there and tell him you like it with extra rum as you slide a $10 bill across the table at him, telling him you are going to take a table but wanted to make sure he got his tip up front. Your subsequent drinks will be strong and you'll need them to be to soak up all that chinese food you are about to eat.
Do they eat chinese food in China? No, they do not. At least not what we consider to be chinese food over here.
I saw that plate on the road once.
Exactly. “Chinese mom” is a stereotype. When all parents get back to expecting more from their kids, I guarantee this whole “Chinese mom” thing will be a thing of the past.
Sorry but there's other factors at work in Japan.
The author is writing from a resident American Asian's point of view...........And the last I've read, Asians have no higher rate of suicide here in the U.S. than any other race.
Lets look at this from a rational point of view: We criticize our schools for not properly educating our children and thus they fail. Then we criticize the parents for not being involved enough in their childrens education and thus they fail. Now we have an American Chinese who is explaining how her children have excelled in school and all you do is criticize her for her methods............ boy, is this confusing.
I agree. Those chinese kids are so programmed they have no childhood. Little automotons. I would not want my kids to be like that.
Then at the end of the meal, they bring you the bill along with the fortune cookies and the cubes of pineapple with toothpicks sticking out of them. Always the same thing everytime!
First, if Chinese mothers were so superior, they wouldn't be clamoring to get away from the place with the most Chinese mothers in the world - China. They come here to get away from the products of other Chinese mothers so their children can reach their full potential.
Second, you touched on a very obvious thing about East Asians, noticed by any one in the West with two eyes since Marco Polo. The "same thing" or in other words, conformity.
Sure, these mothers with their regimens, will turn out thousands of Chan Lees who'll be the most industrious computer code writers at their respective employers, but there'll be no Kipling or Joyce among them.
They'll get some fine civil engineers who'll design a sturdy bridge, but no Wright Brothers or Henry Fords.
They play Bach and Mozart beautifully, but have no Bach or Mozart of their own.
Sure, we get our Charlie Mansons out of our Western way, but the trade off is a Thomas Edison.
NO! How do you not get it? What I said is undeniably true. Not everyone can get straight "A's" or be #1.
You set the expectation that kids perform up to their potential.
Interesting comments here. Parenting is a tough job. Life is tough, then you die. Third world parents really get that. Rich Americans often miss that. Would love your comments.....
My daughter went to UCI with many Asian students, they came home from weekends with their mothers stressed out and in tears.
I thought the same thing. China is being shoved down our throats and white people are “horrible”.
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