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★ Estimated Value – PRICELESS! ★
Posted on 09/15/2010 7:20:38 PM PDT by Neil E. Wright
I met a fairy today that would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Democrats get their heads out of their asses!"
"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.
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It's about
I LOVE it!!!!
President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation in upstate New York .
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.
Although President Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of sh*t it can no longer fly.
Obama was in a heated argument with one of his top Generals. At the end of the fiery discussion Obama looked at the General and said, “I bet when I die you’ll piss on my grave.” The General calmly replied, “Sir, I made a promise to myself that after leaving the military I would no longer stand in lines.”
John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”
McCain takes a breath and then replies, “Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book.” God looks down and then says, “You can sit to my left side.”
So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?” Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, “I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long.” God again looks down and this time says, “You can sit to my right side.”
Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”
Obama smiled and replied, “I think you’re in my seat.”
I met a fairy today too. He’s the congressslime form MA-4!
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”
What’s the Difference between Barack Obama and his dog BO?
The dog has PAPERS.
They say it happened in San Antonio !!!
Obama will be making no more public speeches in Texas.
He claims every time he gets up on stage to make a speech, some Texas cotton farmers starts bidding on him.
God Bless Texas!
The stewardess turns to the pilot and says,” We could throw all three of them out the window and make the whole country very happy.”
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