Posted on 04/10/2010 12:24:58 PM PDT by JoeProBono
The family should have called...Super Nanny!
Have seen some studies about children like this. They have no nurturing as infants and then are incapable of making that human connection. For some reason instead of withdrawing they become very aggressive and violent.
It's worth noting that she is not married and lives with her mother. If she is not able (or willing) to find and keep a husband, who would be a sane adult, then she is even less qualified to parent a child who most likely has problems. Children from orphanages are all troubled.
Yep, the same thing is true of animals, dogs in particular.
You’ve obviously never been in that situation, have you?
This is an adoption not a birth.
There were representations made and if proven, there was fraud involved. What about the american end of the equation? Where is their due diligence?
Adoption is a legal fiction created legislativly there is no common law equivalent so the law is very specific and narrow. You may balk at children being a product for a contract but that is the real world.
It’s odd, because I have known families who have adopted Chinese children (from orphanages in China) and haven’t had this problem. Granted, not every Russian child has this disorder, but it does seem that Russian orphanages in particular seem to be good at producing it in a disproportionate number of their children.
Adopted means YOU are the parent. If my daughter or son stared lighting fires, being mean, etc,,,, i can’t “return” em anywhere. Welcome to parenthood.
“What would happen to a child born into a family with this very same scenario.”
Exactly
I don’t blame this woman at all; she undoubtedly went into it with a good heart, but why should she ruin her life...and possibly LOSE her life...to save this child from his demons? It is hard enough if it is your own child...lacking that connection, it is a nightmare she didn’t bargain for.
>parents were both professional people of high regard. Their
>child was devious and deceitful.
Two choices as parents:
1) invest in your kids
2) invest in your career
It was very interesting what you wrote. I am familiar with several families that adopted children from Russian orphanages.One family lucked out and adopted three lovely teenage girls originally from the Ukraine. They are bright and loving, and have acclimated beautifully to America. Another family adopted two children from Russia over the course of several years. The first child is very sweet but seems to have mental disabilities. Her biological parents were rabid alcoholics. The second adoption was a little girl, very cute, but once brought to the USA was a terror on wheels. They are having a lot of difficulty with her. WHen they met her in the orphanage,she had run up to the mother and began hugging her which melted their hearts. She is a handful for a set of parents who are well into their sixties. Another family I know, are one of those compulsive adoptive parents who seem to be adopting children every year. This family adopted a girl from Russia when she was about 9. I was her teacher at one point, and she seemed very nice and well adjusted. However, I recently heard that the mother tried to give her back to the orphanage in Russia because she has “attachment disorder”, the condition you mentioned in your post. I am wondering if that has become the catch all phrase for adoptive families that no longer want the child they adopted. It seems to me that many adoptive parents have unreal expectations of what the adopted child should be and when the child does not meet those expectations, the family no longer wants them. In this case, the mother sent the kid to a private Catholic boarding school in PA where they house wayward children. She is not allowed contact with the outside world since her old school friends have tried to call her and the administration there refuses to comply. Many of the children in Russian orphanages are the product of alcoholic parents and have mental and physical conditions that are not discussed by those in charge. However, there are some, like this young lady I mentioned, that are adopted by American families who tire of them when the going gets tough.
Having adopted from China and gone directly to the orphanage, the Chinese caregivers seem to do the best they can do with what they have, given the high number of children in their care. The people I know that have adopted from Russia speak of filthy orphanages, children underfed, under clothed and left alone for long periods of time. IMHO that’s the difference in situations most of the time in Chinese vs Russian adoptions.
One more thing, in the case of adopting an infant or small child, just like having a bio child, no one knows what the future brings but we do the best we can and face tough situations as they arise .
really not a new subject...back in the 50’s there was the same kind of movie out called The Bad Seed. Scary and the bad seed was a girl....
I agree with you.
That’s interesting; there is clearly a difference between the Russian and Chinese orphanages.
And the other possibility is that the Chinese children are healthier to begin with. Many Russian children are probably born with fetal alcohol syndrome or born addicted to drugs, whereas Chinese children are probably, for the most part, unwanted girls or “extra” children born to relatively healthy parents.
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