(-:~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~:-)

[Lucky9teen]

"And in a major reversal of U.S. policy, President Obama has narrowed the conditions under which we would use nuclear weapons. He said we'd only use them against Iran, North Korea or Fox News." –Jay Leno

"President Obama has come out with a new policy for using nuclear weapons. In a related story, Joe Biden said he would try not to drop the F-bomb so often." –Jay Leno

"The United States and Russia have signed a historic nuclear weapons treaty. Apparently, Russia is getting a little nervous. They heard we had successfully mounted a warhead on a Toyota Prius." –Jay Leno

"Next week, the president of China will be at the White House. And good news — he has no plans to foreclose." –Jay Leno

"Well, give you an idea how important this visit is from the Chinese president, I understand Joe Biden is busy learning some Chinese curse words." –Jay Leno


"Well, earlier today, President Obama threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals' home opener against the Philadelphia Phillies. And then Vice President Joe Biden was thrown out for cursing at the umpire." –Jay Leno

"Actually, President Obama didn't actually throw the ball. He got it to the catcher's mitt through a series of back-door dealings." –Jay Leno

"Last night, President Obama gave a speech at the Boston Opera House. It was a long night, because you know what they say about the opera: 'It ain't over until the fat lady gets lectured on her eating habits by Michelle Obama.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama held a town hall meeting on C-SPAN to answer questions from kids about her anti-obesity campaign. The most popular question from kids was, 'Why are you doing this to us, lady?'" –Jimmy Fallon

[tnlibertarian]

Henceforth, I shall be known as Fanny.

So LongElegantLegs becomes Fanny. Yep, I suppose they do.

[K-oneTexas]

WOW! Is this type casting. You are always looked to for insight my fine FReeper friend.

Have a great weekend ... Fanny! ‘-)

[a fool in paradise]

[a fool in paradise]

ROADTRIP!

[doubled]

bfl

[Hoffer Rand]

I like this game. I am now Kirsteen Effie Ronalda.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

[sunny48]

This is hilarious!!!

The amazing racist
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1391943289827740318

[ShadowAce]

Hysterical!

[sunny48]

Funny Slogans
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached.

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.
(they will look for you..)

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading .

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses...
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off.

Sign In A Bar:
‘Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do
Pay In Advance.’

Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don’t Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.

Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber’s Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan:
Don’t Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough
Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don’t Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother !

[sunny48]

I think I posted this before, but not sure. Senior momeny:)

A pastor wanted to raise money for his church, and on being told that there was a fortune to be made in horses decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third. The next day the local paper carried this headline: “Pastor’s Ass Shows.”

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won! The local paper read: “Pastor’s Ass Out Front.”

The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: “Bishop Scratches Pastor’s Ass”.

The bishop was fit to be tied! He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: “Nun Has Best Ass in Town.”

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day, the paper read: “Nun Sells Ass For $10.00.”

After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: “Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free”.

The bishop was buried the next day.

[listenhillary]

I love that one!

[mowowie]

Mannnnn, I don’t see how anybody could eat a lobster.
Giant boiled bug.
Nasty taste, Nasty texture.
Yech......

Though i did devour lobster once in Jamaica due to severe 3 day starvation a good while back.

[ShadowAce]

There's one in my old home town for a funeral parlor:

Don't drink and drive
We can wait

[mowowie]

I was Thinking some cool name like Dash Riprock from the Beverly Hillbillies.

[Cyber Liberty]

OK. Just about the strangest thing I’ve ever seen right there.

[mowowie]

Now that was funny!!

[r-q-tek86]

Even though it isn’t the holiday season, I will be “Hank”

[Liberty Valance]

Willie Nelson - Ain’t Goin’ Down on Brokeback Mountain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx641-Ozzpc

[a fool in paradise]

WEIRD.