Posted on 03/30/2010 3:41:30 PM PDT by JoeProBono
SALE, England, - A 66-year-old British woman was fined and ordered to wear an ankle monitor as punishment for selling a goldfish to a 14-year-old.
Joan Higgins, 66, owner of Majors Pet Shop in Sale, England, was fined $1,506, ordered to wear an ankle monitor and given a seven-week curfew as punishment for selling a goldfish to a 14-year-old boy sent into the store by police on a test buy, the Daily Mail reported Tuesday.
A 2006 law prohibits the sale of live fish to children under the age of 16.
Higgins' son, Mark, 47, was fined $1,300 and ordered to complete 120 hours of community service.
"I think it's a farce. What gets me so cross is that they put my mum on a tag -- she's nearly 70, for goodness sake," Mark Higgins said. "She's a great grandma so she won't be able to babysit a new born baby. You would think they have better things to do with their time and money."
"The council sent the 14-year-old into us. It is hard to tell how old a lad is these days. He looked much older than 14," he said.
The people of Socialist Britain are prisoners in their own country.
This has got to be a joke.
I think the fish on the right is pining for the fjords!
O..M..G!
No money for military perks but they can spend money to fit and monitor granny over a goldfish...a GOLDFISH!
From 'Monty Python's Previous Record'
This sketch was not only shown in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 23, it appeared on their album - Another Monty Python's Previous Record'. It was also featured on their other albums 'The Monty Python Instant Record Collection' (UK Version), ''Monty Python's The Final Ripoff' 'The Ultimate Monty Python Ripoff' and 'Lust for Glory'.
Postal clerk: A what?
Praline: A license for my pet fish, Eric.
Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?
Praline: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric fish. He's an halibut.
Clerk: What?
Praline: He is an halibut.
Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?
Praline: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.
Clerk: You must be a loony.
Praline: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady show jumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A license?
Praline: Yes!
Clerk: For a fish.
Praline: Yes!
Clerk: You *are* a loony.
Praline: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog Eric, I've got a license for me pet cat Eric.
Clerk: You don't need a license for your cat.
Praline: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!
Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat license.
Praline: Yes there is.
Clerk: No there isn't.
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: What's that then?
Clerk: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in, in crayon.
Praline: Man didn't have the right form.
Clerk: What man?
Praline: The man from the cat detector van.
Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.
Praline: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
Clerk: What cat detector van?
Praline: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
Clerk: Housinge?
Praline: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cake.
Clerk: How much did you pay for this?
Praline: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.
Clerk: What fruit-bat?
Praline: Eric the fruit-bat.
Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?
Praline: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.
Clerk: No he didn't.
Praline: Did!
Clerk: Didn't!
Praline: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
Clerk: Oh all right.
Praline: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish license?
Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.
NB: The TV Version continues.....the album version continues below
Praline: Then I would like a statement to that effect signed by the Lord Mayor.
(Fanfare of trumpets. Mayor gorgeously dressed with dignitaries enters flanked by trumpeters.)
Clerk: You're in luck.
(In long shot now. The Mayor, who is nine foot high, and dignitaries approach a startled Praline. Organ music below a reverent voice over)
********** TV Version finishes - continuation of Album Version **********
Praline: In that case give me a bee license.
Clerk: A license for your pet bee.
Praline: Correct.
Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?
Praline: No.
Clerk: No?
Praline: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.
Clerk: You're off your chump.
Praline: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader.
Singer: A one, two, a one two three four!
Praline (sings):
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee
Due to some ancient injury?
Chorus: La dee dee, one two three,
Eric the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half a bee.
Praline: Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the half a bee!
Chorus: Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
Eric the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the half a bee.
Praline: I love this hive, implore ye-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.
Chorus: He loves him carnally,
Semi-carnally.
Praline: The end.
Clerk: Cyril Connolly?
Praline: No, semi-carnally!
Clerk: Oh.
Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.)
Your tagline has the answer.
ML/NJ
Gee. This never occurred to me when I was a kid. And it didn't occur to my kids either while they were growing up.
And what the difference between a goldfish and a tuna anyway?
ML/NJ
This is a police state in action. Creating laws for crimes that don’t exist and conversely, creating so-called ‘’crimes’’ so such inane laws can be created. England has gone completly insane
Does anyone doubt that the UK is NO LONGER a viable ‘Free” nation!
The average price of a single bluefin tuna is anywhere between $2000 and $20000.
I don't think the reference is to a full day of care, but rather that with the ankle bracelet, granny is now prevented from going to the great-grandkids house. It's a lot less hassle for granny to go see the child, than to drag the child across town, but that's now what's going to have to happen.
And that's possible only if this isn't considered a crime that limit's granny's access to kids altogether. Strange things are happening in England.
To make everyone a criminal. To make everyone guilty. To control.
"You'd better get it straight that it's not a bunch of boy scouts you're up against -- then you'll know that this is not the age for beautiful gestures. We're after power and we mean it. Your fellows were pikers, but we know the real trick, and you'd better get wise to it. There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What's there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced nor objectively interpreted -- and you create a nation of law-breakers -- and then you cash in on guilt. Now that's the system...that's the game, and once you understand it, you'll be easier to deal with."- Ayn Rand
Everything in England today sounds like the making of a Monty Python sketch. What a screwed up country.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll sleep better knowing the libs are making the world a safer place for fish. It makes me ashamed to live in this barbaric nation where any kid can buy a pet fish.
Soon murder will be illegal there. but I see the point, murder can lead to gold fish buying.
The people who promoted this law as well as the legislators who pushed it through should all be beaten publicly with rattan on the soles of their feet for being such complete morons.
“It makes me ashamed to live in this barbaric nation where any kid can buy a pet fish.”
Yes, but any day now, Obama may enact a law that will fine you if you opt NOT to sell a goldfish. He has, as we’ve sadly learned the hard way, a rather expansive view of federal powers.
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