OOPS......I did mean for this to run on.....my apologies.....
Why men are happy
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!!
Passing gas is a right and an art form!!! LOL
I think it’s a genetic that men scratch their bottoms when they get out of bed in the morning on their way to get coffee. ;-)
If you show up to a party and see someone wearing the same outfit you have a friend for life.
Offensive jokes are inoffensive.
Bttt
My own from last week, speaking to an auto parts store manager:
“I don’t need a mechanic, I need an alternator.”
no expectation to have a Brazilian Bikini Wax (for those that do not know what this is it is ALL GONE—front and back.)
And we don’t worry about dust bunnies;)
Here's a hint: To open almost any jar, turn it upside down and rap the lid sharply on a hard surface twice(has to be a pretty brisk rap) this will, believe it or not, break the vacuum seal and allow anyone to open the jar with ease. I learned that tip from my mother. I am a man and occasionally I resort to this trick, showed it to my daughter but she never raps the lid hard enough. Just FYI.
men are satisfied EVERYTIME they have sex
The same cannot be said of women...
Men know how to use paragraph breaks...just sayin’