Why Men Are Happy.... (Monday night giggles)

[dmz]

outfit???? whats an outfit?

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That’s how you know the list was created by the female of the species. Men don’t do outfits. Like you say, we put on pants and a shirt.

You can also tell when a bathroom has been designed by the female of the species, when there is a large mirror on the wall behind the toilet.

[Andonius_99]

I think it’s a genetic that men scratch their bottoms when they get out of bed in the morning on their way to get coffee. ;-)

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning? Because they don't have balls to scratch...

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

LOL!

[N. Theknow]

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Then why am I the one negotiating the catering contract?

As the Father of the Bride, twice, I was given the 3-S's of wedding protocol for Fathers:

1. Smile

2. Shut-up.

3. Shell out.

[petercooper]

bttt

[justlurking]

To open almost any jar, turn it upside down and rap the lid sharply on a hard surface twice(has to be a pretty brisk rap) this will, believe it or not, break the vacuum seal and allow anyone to open the jar with ease.

A similar trick, if you don't want to worry about rapping the lid hard enough...

Use something moderately heavy to tap the lid on the rim, repeatedly all the way around. I like to use a knife from almost any set of flatware, as the handle is usually a substantial piece of metal.

It won't break the seal, but it will loosen it. If a jar has been unopened for a long time, I suppose the seal bonds with the jar or something.

[Maverick68]

amen

[Randy Larsen]

Nobody calls me and I’m just fine with that!

[Randy Larsen]

Great!

But a good ass scratchin’ definitely improves my vision!

[giotto]

Thanks for the tip. But I doubt it will work on Steinfeld’s sauerkraut. The only way I’ve been able to open those jars is to hammer a tack into the lid.

[pankot]

Are you saying the workman goes home with his lunch bucket still full?