Posted on 11/29/2009 2:21:57 PM PST by Steelfish
Now that the man’s not actually seriously hurt, this is a great story.
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.
Don’t let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don’t match,
Take it from me she’s a better catch.
Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she’s ugly.
Yeah, she’s ugly but she sure can cook.
Yeah? Okay.
Here’s my take on the whole situation (not that you asked for it):
After a noisy argument, Mrs. Woods chased a philandering Tiger out of their home swinging a couple of nine-irons. He hopped in the car POST HASTE and hauls butt out of the driveway, and runs into the tree and hydrant.
(Why ELSE would you be hauling butt out of your driveway at 2:30AM?)
So now that he’s crashed... her womanly nurturing instinct takes over (amplified by her Oh Crap Am I In Trouble Now If He Pins This On Me instinct) and she changes from Mrs. Hyde back to Dr. Jekyll and helps him out of the car.
They both decide it would be better for both of them to keep shut up about it, so they do.
And well they should. It IS a private matter between them.
But I bet it was funny to watch, in a “War Of The Roses” kind of way...
This came from FReeper: Brown Deer:
about WH Gatecrasher, Uchitel, and Woods!
Debtor Information
Name: UCHITEL, RACHEL
Creditor Information
Name: BUDDHA ENTERTAINMENT
Filing Information
Filing State: NEW YORK
Filing Date: 12/26/2007
Filing 1
Filing Number: 20070116876
Filing Type: CIVIL NEW FILING
Filing Date: 12/26/2007
Filing Court: NEW YORK CITY SUPREME COURT - CIVIL DIVISION
Filing County: NEW YORK
Filing Office: NY
Name - ELDRICK TIGER WOODS
Address - 6348 DEACON CIR, WINDERMERE FL 34786-8938
State - FLORIDA
County - ORANGE
Potential SSN - 571-97-xxxx
DOB - Dec 30, 1975
Gender - Male
Ethnicity - BLACK
Height - 6’04”
License Type - Renewal
License Class - Non-Commercial - Regular Operator License
Record Type - Current
Exp. Date - Dec 30, 2012
Issue Date - Oct 03, 2006
Nice to see he is owning up. Props. Still, the damage to his “good-guy” image is largely not repairable, IMHO.
Give him a ticket or arrest him, or is this a capital offense in Florida?
There’s a whole lotta truth in those lyrics - been there, done that!
And, my guess, they both had been drinking.
>> And, my guess, they both had been drinking.
Well, that WOULD explain his poor aim with the Escalade... and her poor aim with the nine-iron. :-)
Owning up and stiffing the cops three days in a row to get the story just right. OJ had a squeaky clean image once too.
Methinks Fuzzy Zoeller is laughing his ass off right about now.
No matter what version of the story you believe, it is Tiger’s fault.
RE: “Methinks Fuzzy Zoeller is laughing his ass off right about now.”
*********************
As a long-time follower of the PGA tour, I can tell you Zoeller would not be the only one smiling — at least a little bit!
I don’t think Fuzzy is vindictive. He probably does not dislike Tiger and his dumb joke was not meant to hurt. He was known as a jokester and prankster but his jokes were not always funny. I think I remember him losing to GReg Norman when Greg made a great put and he toweled off his forehead. That was kind of funny.
I think most people felt bad about that whole incident because Fuzzy is a decent guy and people in golf knew that.
I’m still pissed he hasn’t talked to the cops. If it were you or I, they’d be knocking down the door.
I remember on of Donald’s wives saying she would love him even if he did not have a dime and did nothing more than push on of the “hand carts” hauling tourists and the elderly on the Atlantic City Boardwalk.
Where is the DUI report? Was a breathalyzer given? What about a blood test?
No matter what version of the story you believe, it is Tiger’s fault.”
***
No, no, no. It’s George Bush’s fault. :)
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