Posted on 11/23/2009 3:41:30 PM PST by dynachrome
Having friends over for dinner used to involve a minimal and fairly unremarkable to-do list: There were groceries to buy, along with flowers and a couple of bottles of semi-respectable wine. I would put out some guest towels and a collection of fancy soaps that were off limits to blood relatives, and then — voilà! — dinner was served. Preparing for a dinner party these days is far more complex, thanks to a vast and bewildering array of dietary needs that seem to have suddenly overtaken everyone I know.
Complaint Box Steamed? Dish out the peeves. Send your essays — no more than 500 words, please — to: metropolitan@nytimes.com. An unscientific survey of family and friends turns up one acquaintance who is kosher, two who are more like kosher-style, in addition to two vegans, a smattering of lacto-vegetarians and a couple who cannot digest gluten of any kind. Accommodations must be made for my mother-in-law, who is lactose intolerant, and a friend who is dangerously and inconveniently allergic to peanuts. I must know at least a dozen women who have declared lifelong war on complex carbohydrates. And then there’s my daughter, a wispy and tender-hearted flower child who prefers not to eat “anything with a face” (although she will sometimes make random and completely unreasonable exceptions for hot dogs and pepperoni).
(Excerpt) Read more at cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com ...
Time to go with a potluck.
I’ll serve the drinks.
sounds like she needs new friends. I have yet to make a meal with invited guests who were anything but gracious and thankful for the time to be together. When will these people learn, carbs cannot affect you when at someone elses house for dinner???? ;)
This makes it rather obvious that I’m running with the wrong crowd. All my friends like/love meat. Co-incidently, they are all Rupublicans. They are a bit picky about vegetables, however.
Sorry, can’t relate, but thanks for letting us know that our friends and families may not be quite as weird as we think.
I thought picky eaters had to gag it down so as not to offend the host. That’s what I was taught.
Same here. “You will eat some to be polite, or else!”
GEORGE: It’s from that grapefruit that Jerry squirted at me.
JERRY: Hey, I eat healthy. If I have to take out an eye, that’s the breaks.
*********************
Jerry: Well, you know, we were having dinner the other night, and she’s got this strangest habit. She eats her peas one at a time.
*********************
Elaine: Hey, you wanna hear something weird? Mr. Pitt eats his Snickers bars with a knife and fork.
Solved that problem by telling them where we were going and let them decide if they want to go. I used to cook and entertain but ended up doing all the entertaining. I no longer cook for friends.
I was taught to eat what is put before you.
Yea Susan, I'm really looking forward to sending you an essay so you can make some money off of it.
Do your own work Susan, and do it quick before the NYT is just a bad memory!
A few vegan dishes(veggies and rice is ok), some peanut free dishes for allergy one and reg. vegetarians, buy the gluten free meals avail.(usually they bring their limited foods), make some spaghetti and meatballs. Done.
Most can drink spirits and wine.
That’s harder than it sounds.
We used to entertain effortlessly. There seemed to be many foods that most people loved and many new things that some people were willing to try.
No more. And people think nothing of simply refusing everything served to them! And I am not talking about fancy or froufrou or exotic ethnic or ingredients.
Spaghetti sauce not your brand or otherwise not what you’re used to? Forget it. Just sit there without eating. At a party.
At some point, this becomes a problem with even making friends! I mean, friendships seem to only be able to go so far when you can’t find a way to sit down to meals together except in restaurants.
Funny!!! My friend in GA grew up w/out electricity, running water, etc in MS. When they had a few other family over, the grandmom would go to the chicken shed, get a chicken, swing it around by the neck and go from there—fresh baked chicken.
Whatever happened to being gracious and eating what is served?
Short of the peanut allergy, the rest are just picky.
I don’t cater to picky. My own daughter gags on beef and won’t eat anything in a sauce. I make meals and tell her that she may make PBJ or she eats what I serve.
If someone told me that I had to make them special meals, it would be the last time they would be invited to my house.
I was also. MSG changed that. I don’t really enjoy the discomfort and other things that crap causes. Campbell soups are loaded. They are removing MSG in some soups but are having problems making it edible after it is removed. That tells me a lot.
I am thankful that I have a very small handful of people I would eat dinner with, and a very large family. I think it will become easier the sooner people stop inviting those that make it difficult. After several go rounds with no invite, they may take stock of their behavior and knock it off. If they ask why they were left out, don’t be afraid to say so. They grew up with mommy’s cutting their food and only serving their favorite foods, and never got over it. I understand dietary restrictions when it comes to things like allergies, which can be deadly(my nephew, 10, is so allergic to shellfish he needs an epipen if he walks into a home that it is cooking in), and feeding sugar to a diabetic, but for the rest, really, stop inviting ungrateful people to your table. You will feel much better!
Americans have boxed ourselves in at meal time, by using just a single format of eating, best described as the Midwest buffet style. It amounts to loading up your plate with all that you want, and eating as fast as you can. It is the optimal format for American restaurants.
However, if you wish to enjoy dining, you need to try different formats.
More than anything else, it is a psychological adjustment, as it changes the tempo and character of a meal considerably. For example, most Americans would almost cringe at the idea of having a three hour long meal, not understanding that it would not be a gorge, and at the end, you might not even feel full.
Small amounts of aperitifs, cordials, wines, mixed drinks, liqueurs, digestifs and brandies can all be served through the course of a dinner. And if done properly enhance the meal enormously, yet get no one even tipsy.
One dinner technique is to use courses, with a small amount of a dish that guests can either try, or ignore, spending the time in conversation. Since courses are small, if you don’t care for something, in a short time something else will be along.
Of course a downside is that you use a lot more dinnerware, so if there is someone in the kitchen working during the meal, it is a huge help.
Extending a meal time also means that there needs to be breaks in which guests can freshen up. It also helps if the chairs are very comfortable.
A meal theme can be as simple as an extended wine and cheese party, Spanish tapas, or other hors d’oeuvres, incorporating unusual delicacies that become the subject of conversation. The idea is to take the focus from eating a lot, fast, to light snacking that slowly adds up to a meal.
Of course, this does make things more ala carte, for your picky eaters. It also makes it harder to eat an entire roast turkey at one sitting.
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