Fun for you, but I lost my dinner!
Posted on 11/05/2009 7:30:55 PM PST by Saije
Police reports are often rich with jargon — phrases like "victim succumbed to his injuries," or "victim advised that defendant did knowingly and willingly enter his home without permission."
Not so for a report filed by Tampa police Officer Terry Ashe, who wrote a colorful narrative about an alligator that attacked his city-owned Ford Taurus in Pasco County on Oct. 27.
"As I was driving down the single lane, dirt road, adjacent to an old cemetery, I observed a large, menacing, dark object lying in the road obstructing my right of way," Ashe wrote. "With rain pouring down, mist and fog shrouding my vision, large oak trees laden with Spanish moss hanging down around my vehicle, I was uncertain as to what lay in my path."
Ashe had come upon a big alligator, or in his words, "this menacing man eater."
He eased his vehicle toward the "ancient reptile" to scare him off, but the gator evidently took that as a threat and lurched forward, Ashe wrote.
"The monster bit down on the front left bumper and attempted his mighty death roll. The vehicle shook violently from side to side, my head bouncing from the drivers side window to the headrest," he wrote. "At one point, it felt as if the vehicle was up on two wheels. After what seemed an eternity, the prehistoric monster appeared to be tiring."
Ashe put the car into reverse and slammed on the accelerator.
"The mighty roar of the engine and the spinning of tires in the wet sand was just too much for the man eater to manage. After letting go and emitting a loud roar of triumph, he crawled off the roadway."
(Excerpt) Read more at tampabay.com ...
Traditionally, the ship’s logs of USN vessels are written in verse on New Years Eve.
I have seen some gut-bustingly funny ones.
I wonder if there is a collection of them anywhere.
From a gray November sky came the four horsemen...or something like that.
That’s funny. This report really is insignificant so may as well have fun with it. I assume the “report” was more or less an internal memo.
Hahahaha. At least they won’t be bored reading it. ‘It was a dark and stormy night...’
That’s funny. This report really is insignificant so may as well have fun with it. I assume the “report” was more or less an internal memo.
It was a dark and stormy night...
The damage doesn't look as dramatic as the story sounds.
Yes, with a bit of work he could submit it to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
That's funny! He should write for the NYT.
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