Posted on 10/25/2009 2:54:07 PM PDT by paltz
It’s that time of year. College seniors from around the world are graduating, and they are hitting the career world looking for a job. And the interesting thing is that most are not doing it alone. Many parents are by their Gen Y’s side and not just for support and to be a sounding board. If you are a helicopter parent who is hovering over your adult child’s job hunt and interview process, you may be hurting your child’s professional development and their chances to land the job.
Helicopter parents have not only been bombarding college campuses, they are now flying way too close to the workplace. Parents are now involved in the hiring and interview process and calling HR departments to negotiate terms for their children or to berate them for not giving their sons or daughters an offer. Parents believe they are doing their child a favor, but this behavior can actually stunt a child’s adult development and hamper their ability to think and survive on their own. The hovering is also hurting the young adult’s chances to land the job, as employers roll their eyes and pull their hair out over the barage of phone calls from parents making demands, negotiating salaries and grilling them about benefits.
How many of these kids had “help” on their college applications, and no clue what to do when they got to college?
A lot of these parents probably spoon-fed their kids the answers to their homework back in grade school, instead of letting them struggle a bit to find the answers, and *gasp* letting them fail once in awhile. So these kids never experience failure and have to deal with adversity until it’s time to head out into the real world.
I told my kids, that be ready to be self-employed by the time you’re 40, and start saving up for that day as soon as possible.
The same place where he got help to cut a deal with Harvard to allow him to drop out rather than be expelled for stealing computer time.
His daddy.
Sadly it’s not, helicopter parents are real. My wife works in college and has to put up with them all the time. A friend works in HR and there’s starting to be literature running through the HR circles on how to deal with them.
It’s not a joke. As an HR professional, my peers and I get a ton of these type calls. I’ve even had a parent try to sit in on a interview with her son.
Needless to say the kid didn’t get the job. More and more we’re seeing them bringing them to the interview, sitting out in the lobby waiting for them, or trying to sit in on the interview itself. And when they sart calling us on their behalf.... (shakes head).
It’s pretty freaking scary.
RS
“I’ve even had a parent try to sit in on a interview with her son.”
That’s bizzare.
I don’t think anyone on this thread is blind to unemployment. It seems you are arguing with people who for the most part don’t disagree with you.
But this thread is about helicopter parents who get directly involved in the hiring process for their adult children. As many have attested, that level of involvement will actually hurt their chances of being employed.
I think most would agree that it is appropriate to assist behind the scenes with coaching and helping them get through the old boys network.
I think most of us would agree that there are systemic changes needed. Since we are on free republic that likely means we would start with deregulation and lower taxation. For good measure, we could also re-work the current system of higher education so that it would actually prepare young adults for workplace realities.
You warn of dire results if circumstances don’t change. I don’t know what your solution is, but being a helicopter parent is not the answer.
Good point.
There are worse things in the world than failure.
During a particularly tough time in my life my platoon sergeant reminded me that it wasn’t falling that was shameful, it was refusing to get back up that was shameful.
Parents should teach kids how to succeed but sometimes that means letting them fail cuz sometimes kids are too f’n hard headed to learn to follow instructions LOL~!
Look, when nothing else works being a “helicopter parent” may be a wise option ~ Fur Shur voting for Obama didn’t improve the job picture.
Else, I'd be going elsewhere ~ whatever it took to survive.
Okay with me. As an employer, I don't take chances. I'm entrusted with a client's money in return for getting a job done, and I have a moral obligation to deliver value for that money, and to do so on time. Whether a client hires someone to manage personal money, trim some trees, or fix the family car, that client wants the job done well and on time far more than he cares about the employer taking a chance on someone who needs the job.
If my doctor or my tax attorney took a chance on someone, I'd be finding a new professional to get the job done.
What do they do when the boss tells them to go to Europe or South America or somewhere in the US to go to the meeting or visit the company office?
Bring Mommy along for moral support?
Being self employed is sometimes over-rated (yeah....I’m self employed, lol). There are advantages but also disadvantages.
Well, that’s why I tell them they need to start preparing for that day as soon as they get out of college.
Why is it a wise option if employers refuse to give jobs to the kids whose parents hover around? How is that helping them gain employment? They’re being refused jobs because of it.
When my son and I went to the Parent/Student day at the university he goes to, the President warned us about being ‘helicopter parents’ lol. I asked my son on the way home if I hover and he said “NO! You’ve done a good job of supervising and letting go.”
I could pick out a few that were going to helicopter though, including the one mother who was almost in tears at the thought that her daughter wouldn’t be allowed to bring her car during freshman year and ‘what will she do if it’s raining and she has to walk to different buildings?’ The students on the panel told her to get an umbrella, lol! I had to get up and leave the auditorium at that point before I blurted something rude out loud.
One of the biggest problems is the kids lose all ability to self guide, they don’t form opinions, they can’t make decisions, they have no idea how to begin a task. These kids are in a lot of trouble when their parents start dieing off.
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