Posted on 09/22/2009 4:47:52 AM PDT by strider44
FOXSexpert: The Real Reason Women Have Sex Monday, September 21, 2009
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“Why Women Have Sex.”
Given the stereotype that women are never in the mood, it’s not surprising that this book title is grabbing people’s attention. Written by researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss, the work flushes out the results of a survey of 1,006 women.
And their findings are all over the board; the authors highlight 200 reasons.
RELATED: New Book Reveals the Real Reason Women Have Sex
So why do women have sex? The vast majority (84 percent) have sex to guarantee a quiet life or to persuade their men to do some housework. Some of the other reasons given in interviews include...
1. She’s alleviating boredom – it gives her something to do.
2. She wants to relieve a stress headache or migraine.
3. She’s trying to put an end to an argument.
4. She wants a better complexion.
5. She’s thanking her date for a nice dinner, a present, or spending a lot of money on her early on in the relationship.
6. She’s after a spiritual experience since sex is seen as “the closest thing to God.”
7. She’s refining her sexual skills.
8. She feels sorry for the fellow.
9. She likes that he has an extravagant lifestyle.
10. She’s in a long-distance relationship and wants action now versus later.
Ironically, romance and passion ranked low on females’ reasons for having sex. Instead, sex was viewed as being all about fun, with 60 percent of survey respondents admitting to regularly sleeping with a male friend who was not their boyfriend.
Attraction, too, apparently ranks low on a lady’s list. What’s interesting to note about this factor is that while most men find most women sexually attractive, researchers said that the gals don’t see the guys in quite the same way.
Women reported being attracted to men who were described as tall, having a deep voice, and smelling good. A male having a symmetrical body was also liked, indicating that he could give her strong children. Still, those men not living up to such visions can take comfort in her preference of men with lower levels of testosterone, since this suggests that he’s less likely to pursue others.
It’s important to take these findings with a grain of salt. The way that they’ve been presented largely reinforces the idea that women aren’t sexual by nature as much as capable of using sex as a bargaining tool. Writings cast women as using sex manipulatively or to put up with a partner and her relationship.
Then, muddling matters in terms of how to interpret results is the issue of women having sex versus wanting sex. These are two different factors in one’s sexual activity that aren’t being dealt with independently. Which reasons are ones where women desired sex or skin-on-skin contact? Which reasons felt instinctual?
The University of Texas study has also been criticized for focusing solely on university students at the UT Austin campus who were mostly young and white. We have to remember that these are the results of one group of women — they’re not representative of all women. Still, the book’s press release claims that the work is the “richest and deepest psychological understanding of female sexuality.”
Really?
Collectively, the reasons presented in this survey make all women look conniving, selfish, narcissistic, and shallow when it comes to sex. It paints us as using sex for bartering purposes or approaching it as a hobby or sport. And while that may be the case for these women to some degree, the original research and book actually misrepresent all women by claiming that these findings apply to all of us.
There are a lot more reasons why women are having sex — and they aren’t being captured in this book.
If you ask me, and lot of other women of all ages and backgrounds out there, the reason women have sex, they’ll tell you... They’re having sex to express affection, to get in tune with their sexual core and feel sexy, to make love, to feel close to another, to maintain a long-term relationship by keeping the passion alive, to relish a shared, special moment... and because they like sex when it feels good.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
I would have flunked any statistical research paper if I'd chosen a sample population this badly.
Written by researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss,
I've always thought of David as a man's name....
Increased blood flow to the skin gives a youthful appearance, works for me.
Yeah the use of college age is interesting. Perhaps the general theory was women in the age bracket have more sex than any other age bracket. Could be true I guess. Seemed that way when i was in college. So the theory would be to ask the women who are having the most frequent sex what their main motivations were.
Yeah...sorry about that. Unless dave is a woman. Hell one of my wife’s best female friend’s name is Charles...I was also looking at the author of the Fox story (a woman).
mark
Again...I think the study was intended to ask a group of women who are having the most sex. Though there may be some exceptions, the women living in as you say a “godless, hedonistic, leftist pit of waste” are more than likely having more sex than your typical married woman.
“How about having an orgasm? That’s a novel assumption..”
Yeah one would hope. However, and maybe some female freepers can back me up, isn’t the percentage of women that can reach orgasm through intercourse much lower than the percentage that can reach it through “self-induced” means?
I know I’ve read it before. Many women seem to reach orgasm easier through oral sex also. So...The quesstion is valid overall. If a woman knows she can’t or usually doesn’t reach orgasm through intercousre with a man, what motivates her to have sex?
Us married folk in monogamous relationships would like to think the reasons are good - to please their partners because they’re in love, promote intimacy, etc. However, some of the reasons may be less than good - view it as a chore or marital duty that has to be done to keep the peace, want something in return (like their husband to clean up around the house a little more) etc...
So which is it? I would like to think that most freeper gals fall into the first category. I also think, and I have no scientific study to back it up, that some women just don’t like sex very much. They still want a husband and a marriage and kids etc, they just don’t get a ton of enjoyment out of sex. Some women reqally do enjoy sex of course. But it’s undeniable that the percentage of women who don’t is vastly higher than the percentage of men who don’t enjoy sex that much.
So...freeper dudes out there that are unmarried - my only advice as a happily married man is find one of the women who actually enjoys sex. If you don’t and get married anyway, just be prepared to spend many a night with rosy palm and her five sisters.
Through my experience, there are women who actually enjoy sex. Probably more than want to admit it. There is a social stigma that women who say they enjoy sex are “loose”. And there are more than ways to skin a cat so to speak in a relationship. One doesn’t have to get too creative for both people to be happy. Not all men have the motto “he who comes first wins”, if you catch my drift.
Men have sex IN ORDER TO feel emotionally closer to their spouse.
Women has sex WHEN they feel emotionally closer to their spouse.
bttt
ROFLOL!!!
Men have sex IN ORDER TO feel emotionally closer to their spouse.
Women has sex WHEN they feel emotionally closer to their spouse
___________________________________________
Well yes in some ways, but I really believe in “general” as a WOMAN, that women give sex in order to get emotional support and Men give emotional support to get the sex.
Don’t hate me for this opinion, it is just the way I see things. :)
I’m sorry you’ve run into the wrong kind of woman.
Sounds to me like we’re saying the same thing, or close to it.
And I’d never hate someone just because of an opinion.
“I’m sorry you’ve run into the wrong kind of woman.”
You misunderstand. I love my darling with every fiber of my being. I just get grumpy sometimes.
Naw, it has to be one of those other ten things...
Seems to me, given the sample involved in this survey, the report should be titled: “Why Tramps Have Sex.”
bump
Thanks for pointing this out. Every NYT science article ends up discussing evolution. And all it really “proves” is that what is is.
If intellectually shallow people ceased to be convinced that “evolution” provides a “reason” to reject God, they would throw evolution over in a minute.
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