Don't ask me. I don't write 'em. I just ride by your house and heave 'em onto your lawn every morning. (Sorry about the one that landed on the roof last week.)
Ha! ;-)
You know, back in my paperboy days (long long time ago) when I used to deliver the morning San Francisco Examiner, if I missed the porch, I got off my bike and put the paper where it belonged. And if, occasionally, I couldn't find it, I gave them another one.
Result was, after a year & a half, doubled circulation.
Did you ever notice the fact that the decline of American newspapers began right around the time they changed the title of "paper boy" to something more gender, age & race neutral? Today, literally, they don't make them like they used to. ;-)