Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists

The Telegraph ^ | 8-18-09 | Richard Alleyne

[dynachrome]

Civilisation would most likely be finished in the event of a zombie outbreak, claim Canadian mathematicians who have calculated the possible devastation caused by an attack by the fictional monsters. Using models developed to calculate the effects of more plausible pandemics, the team from the University of Ottawa have discovered that unless man struck back quickly and aggressively then they would be doomed.

The scientific paper, which is published in a book “Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress”, looks at an attack by the undead creatures, who infect the living with a bite.

In their study, titled When Zombies Attack!, the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

[Texas Eagle]

"Bring it on."

[cripplecreek]

I don’t know. I thought Sean of the dead was pretty good for a zombie flick.

[fanfan]

What are those Canadian mathemeticians smoking, anyway? LOL

Ya know, they may have a point.

The zombies are here already.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

Think about it.

[Shooter 2.5]

One to the brain
and not the chest.
Headshots are the very best.

Fido

[mysterio]

That was the least annoying one I've ever seen, but I still had to be forced to watch it. Oh, wait, I did like the Serpent and the Rainbow, but that one was sort of different and I was like 13 so it doesn't count.

A good rule of thumb is if you're a writer and you're thinking of making a zombie movie, musical, or a zombie musical, don't. The life you save may be mine.

[ThermoNuclearWarrior]

I have loved zombie movies ever since I was a kid, but even as a kid I always thought the plots were unrealistic even in a world where zombies existed. They were so damn slow and easy to kill I don't think the military would have much trouble with them. How could zombies cause more trouble than intelligent people with weapons who the military is trained to fight?

[VisualizeSmallerGovernment]

This is ridiculous. Everyone knows that you can control zombies through the use of black magic and willpower.

That's how Obama won the election.

[Rocky]

I was about to ask if our stimulus money paid for this study, but then I saw that it came from north of the border. I didn’t know they had zombies up there.

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

If you don’t have plate mail and a long pike, you aren’t ready.

[dynachrome]

“28 Days Later” gave the fast zombie scenario.

Good movie.

[cripplecreek]

Speaking of zombie musicals, what do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4WbwwhBmRk

[TheOldLady]

You gotta be kidding me ping.

[cripplecreek]

28 days later creeped me out. Fast zombies are bad news.

[dynachrome]

Machete. No reloading required.

[samtheman]

This looks like nobel prize material to me. They’ve been giving awards to zombies for decades now.

[VisualizeSmallerGovernment]

A good rule of thumb is if you're a writer and you're thinking of making a zombie movie, musical, or a zombie musical, don't.

I was only following orders.

[Hot Tabasco]

As strange as it may sound, I’m kinda hoping for a zombie outbreak just to get my mind off of politics and maybe get some real shooting in..........plus get rid of a heck of a lot of built up aggression.

[Domandred]

Good damned thing I have zombie killing guns!

[TheOldLady]

You got that right about musicals. [shiver]

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

How could zombies cause more trouble than intelligent people with weapons who the military is trained to fight?

Yeah, well, that's what we all thought before the Battle of Yonkers....