Posted on 08/07/2009 1:07:48 PM PDT by OldDeckHand
Paramount was so worried the critics would hate G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra—and with good reason, it's awful—that they decided not to screen it for anybody. Just one problem: the first showing was at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, which means I have all night to tell you how bad it is. Bad. Bad. Bad. It's excruciatingly bad. Gigli bad. How bad are we talking? I chronicled my night:
11:40 p.m.: I arrive to the theater, a little sleepy and slightly giddy that the movie could be so bad that it's good. I ask the older couple on the escalator behind if they're here to see G.I. Joe. No! It's got to be bad, they say, because it wasn't even screened for the critics. They're here to see Meryl Streep as Julia Child.
12:01 a.m.: Showtime. Except not really. I was expecting crowds and G.I. toys and maybe even a few people chanting "All-American Hero" (yes, I was a G.I. Joe groupie back in the day). But the theater is half empty and a woman down the aisle from me is picking her nose.
12:09 a.m.: Trailers. First bad omen: the movies previewed before G.I. Joe include a very bad John Travolta movie and a very bad M. Night Shyamalan movie. Although, in retrospect, neither of them could possibly be as bad as G.I. Joe.
(Excerpt) Read more at blog.newsweek.com ...
My post made it sound like my father fought in WWII, Korea and Vietname, not he did not, and wasn’t in a war, however he is former Army, and served in the 70’s-80’s!
Really, it's better than TS? I didn't see Transformers 2 (and don't plan to), but I did see TS and didn't think it was horrible. It wasn't great or even good, but was just average.
I don't think I'll see it because of the director's comments - plus the fact that my wife would me me reciprocate with a chick-flick, probably starring Matthew McConaughey. Considering I'm still in therapy trying to erase "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" from my memory, I'm not going to risk it.
Well, that sounds promising...
I loathed Terminator: Salvation. I thought GI Joe was pretty good in comparison. It was cheesy and full of CGI, but it had the big explosions I remember imagining when I played with the toys.
My kids love The Mummy movies.
I thought Ishtar was the worst movie ever?
Or was that Howard the Duck?
Ok, you asked for it. Manos is on youtube, here’s part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GLkJFLkHS8
If you don’t want to stab your eyes out after part 1, then here’s part 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTgh5IJHCuw
Keep going until you see all 7 parts, you’ll regret it. LOL!
Hey Brett...don’t trash Manos..lol. I love the haunting Torgo theme and the “seduction” scene. To fully appreciate the beauty of Manos you have to see the MST3K treatment.
Ahh yes, the emotional impact of the Torgo seduction scene was epic! Kind of like a million worms crawling underneath your skin.
He even convinced her not to tell her husband, quite the charmer that Torgo. LOL!
ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe...
It was fun to watch with my 11 year old son.
He liked the redhead.
39% Fresh on Rotten Tomatos. Much more mixed reviews than this article implies. The basic rap is that GI Joe is all action and little else. The dialog is an afterthought, or doesn’t add, but as a remaking of a Saturday morning cartoon, they are saying, its ok.
Racheal Weisz is a great reason to sit though the first couple of Mummy movies.
MST3K forever! They never should have cancelled that show.
The movie wasn’t bad, if you’re looking for a generic action film. My problem with the movie is the G.I. Joe title. There were so many changes made to the 80’s Joe team, I don’t even know why they stuck that name on it. It should have been called “Action Team: Generic Soldiers.”
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