Posted on 07/16/2009 8:38:36 AM PDT by Niuhuru
What is it that makes a woman mistress material in the mind of men? What is it that makes an honest woman in their minds?
Why do men keep mistresses? What drives them to it? I'm curious because on recent threads that discuss hookers/call girls, etc. some men say that wives are not putting out (forgive me for the crudity) and that is why they go to hookers.
“I don’t pay them for sex.......I pay them to leave.” Charley Sheen during the Heidi Fleiss trial.
Do you think the same goes for women?
No offense but if you can answer that question you will probably have solved thousands of years of human behavior problems. You actually expect a credible answer?
Whatever a spouse can not secure at home they will secure elsewhere.
There is ALWAYS someone willing to provide that which is not provided at home.
Period....
“The “I committed adultery because YOU were not loving enough” is just blaming the victim.”
You have categorically identified the “cheated on spouse” as a victim with no responsibility in the situation. A spouses eye or other body parts don’t wander if there is full participation and communication between married partners. I don’t beleive children,jobs,hobbies or other distractions are valid reasons for lack of full participation and communication between married partners.
Just some personal thoughts and observations of this 74 year male.
When she makes it pretty clear that she's willing to ignore the fact that the guy is married, and provide him with "sex on the side", supposedly without consequences.
What is it that makes an honest woman in their minds?
Not being that woman I just described. If she's shown that she has a tendency toward promiscuity she's probably not the one you want to start a family with.
Why do men keep mistresses? What drives them to it?....
(putting on my flame suit)
I believe that most men and women who have fallen in love eventually reach a mature state of love. That mature state is best described in my mind by most people’s phrase, “I love my wife” or “I love my husband”.
To put it in perspective “I love my daughter”, “I love my son”, “I love my mother” These statements all indicate a commitment to some family member based on a relationship and interaction overtime.
The interaction with the lover can best be describe with the phrase, “I am in love with this person” This to me indicates an exciting time of emotions that indicates a desire to be with someone constantly because of hormones racing around your mind, not necessarily sexual activities. The longer this can be sustained the more exciting the relationship.
So why do people cheat? I believe they miss the emotional excitement of being in love with someone. Love can be like a drug.
This thread belongs on a liberal site, not a conservative one. Adultery is wrong.
No matter how hot she is, there is at least one guy out there who is sick of her crap.
So there is the biological drive-- but I think perhaps even more determinant is boredom. You try ordering from the same menu everday for the rest of your life. Eventually, you're going to wanna try something new.
Actually, if one segregates the sexual functions from the eating functions (I know...I know...)
Let’s just call them higher and lower instincts for the purposes of discussion (and this is not denigrating the power of the procreative impulses...)
One of the saddest, most pathetic and heartwrenching things about reading a book like “I Cannot Forgive”, “Night” or other books about the Holocaust is that it is true that the majority of people WILL do nearly anything to eat if they are starving. They will disown their own parents, children, spouse or siblings if that decreases their chances of survival or gaining food.
That is the heartbreak, when people came face to face with the choice, and because they wanted to live so badly, chose food. And the survivors carried that with them to the end of their days.
Now, granted, that isn’t everyone. Some people chose to die rather than succumb to that dehumanizing will to survive.
But, as horny as I have been at points in my life, I don’t see the sex instinct making me cross that threshold.
I did think the other poster was being somewhat...rhetorical when making that point...:)
Okay. Back to the silliness of the thread. TTIWWP!
People are regularly subject to all sorts of temptation. Some choose to give in to it because they have no moral compass. This takes place whether they are deprived of sex, love, and attention at home, or surrounded with all those things.
Some people cheat to gratify their egos. For some, no amount of love and admiration is enough. They think they can get away with it.
Some people get bored easily, and when the wife is no longer fresh meat, or if she is de-glamorized by wet diapers and screaming children, he seeks glamor and excitement of through some woman who has never touched a diaper (or can pretend she hasn’t). These men have unrealistic, immature ideas of what marriage is supposed to provide them with or what women should be like I’ve seen this one quite a bit—the guy thinks a woman with three preschoolers should always look gorgeous and be ready to screw at the drop of a hat, whether there are two kids with stomach flu in the house or not, and then they get all pouty if she doesn’t have mascara on and isn’t as enthusiastic about sex as she was before they had kids.
Some men (and women) are in genuinely miserable marriages but don’t want to leave because of the children, and they succumb to loneliness and/or horniness. This is rarely the case, however.
Nothing in the question even hints that adultery is not wrong.
The Bible says you can not make sickness go away by pretending it isn’t there.
"If you're starving and somebody throw you a cracker, you gonna be like this: Damn, that's the best cracker I ever ate in my life! That ain't no regular cracker, was it? What was that, a Saltine? Damn, that was delicious. That wasn't no Saltine. That was... That was a Ritz. That wasn't a Ritz? God, that was the best cracker I ever ate in my life. Can I have another one, please? Please, one more."
Then you get married, because you think you've found the bomb. Have the same crackers every day for a year. And you roll over one day and be like: "Hey, I just got some regular old crackers."
-Eddie Murphy, Raw
Sorry, but I can’t agree completely with your statements.
I will say that more often than not folks dabble, both men and women, because they are missing something in their primary relationship.
However, when someone finds themselves in a relationship where the other person denies intimacy, whether physical, emotional or both, or where one lets themselves go to the point where their partner literally does not find them sexually appealing any longer, infidelity is more often than not going to be the end result.
Yes. That is why you hear women say a lot, “He just made me feel so special...”
Human males are genetically programmed to impregnate as many females as possible.
But no real MAN would cheat on his wife.
It all comes down to deciding which head is running your life.
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