Posted on 07/14/2009 10:48:56 AM PDT by Woebama
Every now and then I feel a pang of loss and longing that takes me completely by surprise. I might be sitting in a cafe talking to friends, or wandering around the supermarket.
Then I see a mother with her child and the realisation hits me, as if for the first time - that's never going to be me. If someone had told my 25-year-old self that I would end up here - aged 45, newly married and, sadly for us both, without a hope of ever getting pregnant - I wouldn't have believed them. It would have seemed incredible that love would take so long to find me; that becoming a mother would ever matter so much; or that my fertility - a gift that, at the time, seemed more like an inconvenience - would plummet far beyond the point at which doctors could work their magic. Yet, it is a fact my husband David and I have spent the past year learning to accept. I know it sounds naive but, when we met four years ago, it never crossed our minds that having a baby would be an impossibility.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1199491/Seduced-stories-stars-giving-birth-later-IVF-myths-career-obsessed-Lucy-believed-children-love-wait.html#ixzz0LFzliqOh&C
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
You're living in a culture where men don't take care of their families, women are taking up the slack, and children are a distant objective.
Measuring your readiness for children by the objects you have around you is not the way to go about it.
It's not the things, my dear. It's your capacity for nurturance. Life is a process. How much a part of that do you want to be?
Yeah, don’t wait, like we ALL could find a man who’ll make a suitable husband and father when we’re in our 20’s... or does this mean we should just go ahead have anyone’s kids then find a man to marry later?
Sorry if I sound a bit cynical, but since some women decide to wait for marriage before having sex, having children ‘early enough’ simply isn’t an option for everyone.
I hear you. I’ll go one further. Not everyone is meant to be married and have children. Paul recommended against it, if you can be sexually pure without marriage. I see most women these days doing the opposite — having casual sex, using birth control, or having abortions, with men they are in love with, because they think they have all the time in the world.
Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience. You'll never be ready. It's the emotional and intellectual equivalent of going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. You'll survive it, but you won't be in control of it.
Being a little more financially set is a good thing; so is a little more maturity.
On the other hand, there's something to be said for youth; you'll tolerate lack of sleep better, you'll have more energy, and you won't be as set in your ways.
Please, don't be under the illusion you'll ever be "ready." I think that's what we were giggling about.
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