Posted on 07/14/2009 10:48:56 AM PDT by Woebama
Yes, I have friends who have adopted from china
and russia and their main problems were usually
governmental.
Why, thank you.
It's rare when life does. The world is full of salespeople trying to 'sell' something. Certainly you, as a lawyer, understand rhetoric and advocacy, both their uses and their shortcomings.
In this sense, there are two kinds of people...those who follow their independent mind, and those who followed the crowd. It's a question of maturity.
Each has its advantages and disadvantages. For those who followed their independent mind, the price was front-loaded. People like that don't fit in very well because they assume nothing. But they're very well equipped for life in this world, where we are surrounded by liars and con men.
I'm sure she fit in very well with her friends. Pity it didn't equip her for the real world.
It was also a choice.
Where militant feminists are concerned you can call me "W". They've waged a form of political and legal and emotional and social terrorism.
In the words of W, "We will make no distinction between those who commit terrorist acts, and those who support them." I have no doubt where her sympathies were for the last 25 years.
Even now, she can't see beyond the end of her nose. It's not just about her.
Awesome song!
Awesome song!
I had my daughter late in life. Nothing prepares you for a child! You are not more prepared at 35 than 25. Really. It’s having the child that matures you.
I’m glad I said something that you and gegeo found funny. Thank you for a mature and intelligent response.
Having the child first prepares you? So you’re saying that most 35 year olds aren’t more prepared life experience wise/ financially to raise a child than your average 25 year old?
Yes of course love, morals and so forth are important but being stable financially/knowing more about life in general matters greatly as well.
Don’t be too hard on them, Jen. We’ve all gone through a stage in our lives when we think that, when we have children, we will have everything planned and laid out. None of the chaos or problems that other, less well organized or “prepared” parents have had. Kids just blow all that self-assurance to smithereens. All parents know that. I think that’s what they were laughing at, not you.
I was 19 when I got married. My husband was 23. I dropped out of college to support him while he finished his degree. When he graduated, we had a one-year-old. I kind of approached the whole thing with the attitude that having a family was what the Lord wanted me to do, and that if my husband and I worked hard and did our best, the Lord would help us fill in the gaps. He always did.
I can’t tell you how glad I am that I married young and had a large family. Two of the greatest surprises in life are (1) What an immense pleasure it is to hang out with your adult children, who have grown into responsible human beings, and (2) how much more fun it is to be a grandmother than a mom.
You’re so welcome!
Please don’t be offended, it’s all in good fun.
Look, you can’t be emotionally ready for a kid until after you have one. That’s just not how it works.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to wait, or choosing not to have any at all, but to imagine you’ll one day wake up and say “Hey, I’m financially stable, emotionally ready, the world is at peace, the economy is great, and I want to make a baby!” is a little silly, isn’t it?
You will always worry that you don’t have enough money, that you won’t be a good parent, and that you have no idea what you’re doing; it’s part of parenting. But putting off having a baby because of these things will leave you in a situation like Lucy’s.
If everyone did that we'd be extinct.
There's nothing wrong, btw, with being 25 and not married.
1954 at the age of 47 my grandmother gave birth to her 5th child. No purchased eggs were involved.
So you’re saying that most 35 year olds aren’t more prepared life experience wise/ financially to raise a child than your average 25 year old?
_______________________________________
Yes, I’m really saying that most childless 35 year olds aren’t more prepared than most childless 25 year olds to have a child. 25 is a full adult, with more energy, likely, than a 35 year old. Having the child is the maturing experience, not the passage of years.
No, love and morals matter completely, the rest, not so much.
It seems to me that the women who have problems are the ones who try to have their first child in their 40s. Women who have their first child in their 20s or younger and then have subsequent children in their 40s seem to get pregnant easier. Take Michelle Duggar. She had her first at age 22 and just had her 18th at age 42 and wants to keep going. My great-grandmother had her first in 1919 (my grandfather) at age 28 and her eighth (that survived) at age 44.
I often thought that might be the case.
It sounds beyond naive.. You started dating your husband at 41... you STARTED dating at the tail end of natural fertility for most women, and then waited 4 more years to marry and think about kids. I empathize with you and pity women like you who were sold the false bill of goods about "having it all" by a feminist dogma of anger.
Here's the reality, you can't have it all, you will have to compromise in your life. If you put your career first and decide to wait to start a family, guess what, you may wake up one day to find its too late. Like it or not, fertility peaks on average in women at age 24, that's cold hard truth.
Here's the reality, this is true of men and women, if you put your career first, your family will pay the price.. if you put your family first, you won't get as far in your career as quickly as others who don't. That's the trade off.
I'm a guy, I put my family first, I know I could be making more money, lots more money, not that I make bad money, but I could be making lots more. Of course this would require me to travel which I refuse to do with children at home, at least as a majority of my job. This decision has slowed my career and income, but it also means that the number of nights my kids sleep under a roof that I don't due to work is no more than a handful a year or less. Sometimes its frustrating, knowing I'm intentionally throttling my career and that I could definately be doing things I personally would likely enjoy better than the job I do that keeps me close to home.. but this job keeps me close to home, in a city that I can raise my kids with moral values and not be surrounded by ammorrality or immorality.
Whenever, those what ifs pop up in my head, they never last long, and I put my head on my pillow and sleep well at night, and my youngest climbs in my bed to wake me up the next morning (like her siblings did at her age) I know that I'm making the right choice.
Now I know kids are not for everyone, and I would never tell women that they could not live a fulfilled life without a husband and children. However, I know more than a few women who are now past their fertility and did put career first and regret never having children. Its not something you get to mulligan. If a family is something you have wanted, you can't put career first.. time will get away from you.
Young women in their early twenties have been used for studies related to egg quality. I come by these facts from the source. The doctors involved in the study were shocked to find that up to 40% of many young women’s eggs were aneuploid, meaning they had major chromosomal abnormalities.
We all knew that egg quality diminishes with age, and that a woman’s eggs are about 70% shot by age 40. What surprised the experienced reproductive endocrinologists and embryologists when they perfected the test to determine if ALL the egg’s or embryo’s chromosomes were normal was how low the percentage of healthy eggs were in the youngest women of maternal age.
Sperm, especially of young men, is almost always of good quality, is replenishable, and self-sorts: only the good ones get in to those eggs.
So one looks at EGG QUALITY primarily to predict embryo quality. An aneuploid embryo will rarely make a baby (with a disability). Most times, it is incompatible with the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. Meaning that the woman will not become pregnant, or will become pregnant and have an early (first trimester) miscarriage.
Many couples do turn to adoption, donor eggs, and donor embryos, in order to become a family. There are costs and hurdles involved, but many, many joyful families have been freed from the agony of infertility.
Personally, I believe that since in nature it is always the reproductive parts of the soft bodied creatures (fish, frogs) that are first affected by polluted waters, that we humans are also affected by the chemicals and hormones in our environments and food sources.
Please care about what is around you and what you choose to feed your children, especially if you wish them to be able to have children.
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