Posted on 05/25/2009 9:13:16 PM PDT by smokingfrog
It’s happened many times before: You take up a hobby or enjoyable excursion, like coin collecting or participating in Civil War Reenactments, and someone from the fringe comes along and has to ruin the fun for everyone. This can be said especially for wine drinking, where morons from all walks of life seem to find their way across the universe and stake their personal neurotic claim to all that is good about wine.
These people all play a different role when it comes to diluting your experience, and today’s Number One Culprit brings about a familiar soullessness to the otherwise pleasurable world of wine.
The Wine Snob
Wine of Choice: The '04 Clarendon Hills Bakers Gully Shiraz - $55
Throughout the collective history of winemaking, it's arguable to say the The Wine Snob has done more to hurt the industry rather than to help it. This is because a lot of people make a direct association with the enjoyment of good, pleasurable wine with these types of pretentious twits. Just like a lot of good things in this world, The Wine Snob will obstruct our innocent pursuit by using words like, “Transcendent, “ and “Effervescence,” to describe a glass of Syrah, and thus “distance themselves from the ordinary.”
And being perceived as ordinary is what The Wine Snob fears most. How The Wine Snob can detect asparagus along with a flutter of limestone in a $5 bottle of Smoking Loon remains a mystery, much like how they believed a college degree in Art History would provide them a career of wealth and prestige. There’s one Wine Snob at every party, and their insistence that they engage the lot with intellectual and philosophical conversation makes them slightly more obnoxious (but not much worse) than the Party Guitar Guy.
Where You Will Find Them: At social gatherings, leading an existential discussion around a semi circle of doey-eyed college girls. Later in the evening, The Wine Snob will try to one-up you in front of your girlfriend by scoffing at you for having no idea what Dadaism is, let alone its relevant, cultural impact on contemporary art.
Why You Hate Them: It’s quasi-intellectual idiots like this who scared a lot of middle-class people away from voting for Kerry in 2004, and now you’re working 14 hours a week at Petco while your house is on the brink of foreclosure.
Honorable Mention: The Rich Guy
Wine of Choice: Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti - $23,929
Congratulations, Rich Guy. You single-handedly ruined Napa and ran up the average price of quality, estate-bottled Chardonnay to $200 a pop. That’s all well and good, except that The Rich Guy has no intention of actually drinking the wine. Much like his shallow, socialite Trophy Wife, he keeps his expensive wine collection locked away to acquire dust in a mansion and only shows it off during cocktail parties.
Where You Will Find Them: Buying up the entire real estate market in the Napa Valley with billion dollar homes, installing stone fountains and Zen gardens on the property, and then later that month selling the home back to the market for profit.
Next Article: The Dinner For One
“I don’t think the wine is worth it,” said Bear Dalton, wine expert at Spec’s liquor store in Houston. Dalton explained that consumers can only get “Two Buck Chuck” for $1.99 in California - other states carry the wine, but not for nearly as cheap.
“The wine would have to sell closer to $3 after commerce because of the additional federal costs and mark-ups. There are wines that are $2.99 that are better. There’s no point in bringing it in. It’s an acceptable commercial wine, not exciting,” Dalton said.
Not everyone agrees on the quality of wine for the buck. Posert said Charles Shaw has produced a wine with exactly the right combination of taste and price.
“I would say in the hundred reviews of Charles Shaw wine, there have been three people who said it wasn’t worth the price,” Posert said.
Regardless of the taste debate, no one can deny that Charles Shaw has turned an unrealized asset into cash. The California grape crop, which recently experienced a glut, has seen a decline in quality resulting in fewer wine makers wanting to purchase the grapes. This lack of interest caused the prices of grapes to fall, one reason why the Bronco was able to manufacture the wine cheap enough to sell it on the wholesale market for so little.
“Bronco Winery, Co. is buying the grapes at low prices and turning around and selling wine at a low price,” Dalton said. “It’s only possible because the wine is moved directly to retailers. There is no middleman.”
Local wineries and vineyard owners are baffled by the craze over Charles Shaw.
The truth is, California is so ideal for growing grapes (especially reds) that even the cheapest are consistantly good. You either have to mishandle the grapes (like let them rot) or screw up the winemaking process badly to make a bad wine from them. So Charles Shaw can buy surplus grapes, blend them up and make a very decent, drinkable wine that people can afford. In fact, it has won the gold medal in at least one contest.
There's almost a 50% markup here in North Carolina. Trader Joe's is selling it for $2.89 a bottle. I feel so cheated! ;o)
Never got past sterno an a clean rag .....
$2.99 here in Arizona...yikes we are being scalped.
;)
It was the same thing I'd observed in classical music and the difference between the professional musicians and the folks that made up the audience. The classical musicians were mostly (some exceptions) irreverent partiers behind the scenes. The typical classical symphony underwriter/supporter/audience member would have been shocked if they'd known how "uncouth" and wild their musicians were!
After careful research in areas of large wine consumption I’ve notice one wine seems to be the choice of many. It sells very well and does not require a large sum of money. This wine seems to have a unique quality not found in other wines even ones in it’s class. A glass or two can take you from mellow to rowdy thus from that comes it’s more common name. I nominate Mad Dog 20/20 as the wine of they year :>} Do I hear a second on this?
LOL. I love it.
Those musicians - they’re all the same.
We had a tasting party at one of my friends houses, one day.
He is a multi-millionaire, and can afford any wine,
in the World, by the case.
This little party was not planned in advance.
I brought one of my inexpensive, favorite bottles, a Blackstone Merlot,$12.00.Another friend brought a Duckhorn Merlot,$85.00.
My friend, Kelly, brought a bottle of 2 Buck Chuck, $2.99.
Also, thrown into the mix, was a bottle of Camus Cabernet Sauvignon, approx. $120.00.
Now, I’m not going to say that no one couldn’t pick out the Camus, as it is, like I say, “Liquid Sex”.
But, it was very hard to definitely pin down the others.
For the money, 2 Buck Chuck is better than the Duckhorn,
while the Blackstone was in 2nd place.
Me too. I am amazed that anyone can sell a bottle of wine at that price. Think about it. $2 covers planting, growing, and harvesting the grape, fermenting the wine, bottling it, shipping it, and distributing it. And don’t forget the profit!
And the vintage her served on fancy occasions: Champipple!
“What Santa Does On the Off Season”
and you will drink no wine before it is paid for.
I found it truly hilarious the first time I listened to a couple of real classical music afficianados discussing orchestrae.
“They suck.”
“They’d be good if they could play thier instruments.”
It sounded like two kids arguing Van Halen vs. Led Zeppelin.
Of course, I also drank Four Roses Whiskey, Peroni beer and Ouzo (shiver)
No wonder my liver is in the shape it is.
Don’t tell me those aren’t dentures. And just imagine what he looks like without them. Poor Teresa.
“Except the next step of actually removing the foil bag from the box to squeeze every last drop.
Something I have never done :)”
I believe you, I believe you! It’s been made out of clear plastic for quite awhile now. Still love it. Refreshing White is my choice.
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