You can’t make this stuff up. (See tag line, it’s very appropriate the last few months.)
ITS A MENTAL DISORDER FOLKS!!! Pure and simple.
hmmm...a real, live, inverted Mr. Garrison!
Katherine Dalton was a sucessful glamour model in her teens and 20s.
Now you can go screw yourself.
Uh, I have always wondered about this ... going from a male to a female seems easy to understand ... you just whack off a few parts and do some stitching.
But I just don’t understand the other way ... how do you go from female to male ... I mean ... where do you get the parts?
No loss, no gain.
(Thanks to Lerner and Lowe)
HIGGINS
What in all of heaven could’ve promted her to go,
After such a triumph as the ball?
What could’ve depressed her;
What could’ve possessed her?
I cannot understand the wretch at all.
Women are irrational, that’s all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They’re nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!
[To Pickering]
Pickering, why can’t a woman be more like a man?
PICKERING
Hmm?
HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic’ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can’t a woman be like that?
Why does ev’ryone do what the others do?
Can’t a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev’rything their mothers do?
Why don’t they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can’t a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you’re always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn’t speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can’t a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there’s one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can’t a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can’t a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you’re a woman...
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can’t a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight’ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?
Why can’t a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who’d been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I’m going?
Why can’t a woman be like me?
How about a coupling device that allows for quick interchange of “equipment.” Then the freak can change orientation like you change clothes. You could have a whole selection of attachments:
*) Male - average
*) Male - super sized
*) Female
*) Hermaphrodyte
*) Alien tenticles
*) Leaf blower
*) Edger
LMBO!!
I doubt it. Even the most committed will eventually find themselves tongue-tied.
This is very confusing....
It’s suit coat is too large.
There is no such thing as a sex change. A person is of one sex and one only. Chopping, slicing, molding and grafting do not change one’s sex.
And it’s SEX, not GENDER.
Liberals are sick in the head.
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
About who had the right
To do what, to which, and to whom.
I can sympathize- I’ve always felt like a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.
So, if this person has homosexual relations with a man, does that make the man (the real one) actually heterosexual, because he is actually having sex with a woman?