Posted on 05/07/2009 7:16:24 AM PDT by pingman
This diddy was on a scrap of newsprint found within the jacket of one of my Dad's books. He's been gone since 1982, but I had to laugh as this sparked my memory of what an unapologetically conservative guy he was. Career Navy officer, pilot, meteorologist, hard ass. Didn't care one bit for the attitudes and politics of the 60's and beyond.
If any of you care to append your own "isms" to the list, have at it!
“ISMS”
Socialism: You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they may give you some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. You give all the milk to the government and the government sells it.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.
Anarchism: You have two cows. Keep both the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.
Capitalism: You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonica lessons.
Obamanism:?
Obamaism - you have two cows. Obama gives one cow to your neighbor. Then he bankrupts you both, takes your cows and tells you you have no business raising cows, and makes your children pay for the expense of taking the government taking the cows.
Obamanism: Your cows don’t make enough milk, the government bails you out of bankruptcy, takes your cows and then tells you what you can and can’t do from then on.
HA! HA! HA! LOVELY!!!
You hit the nail RIGHT on the head!
Specterism: You have a herd of cows. One of your cows wanders to a neighbor’s field because it thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Your neighbor, the owner of the field, picks that cow to make hamburger and steaks from. Your neighbor has a barbecue and is happy, and you’re happy because the old cow never gave milk anyway.
Obamaism-You have two cows. The government confiscates them, splits the milk amongst your neighbors, continues to charge you for the cattle feed, tells you that you must pay your fair share and provide the government with a new cow since as someone who previously owned two cows, you are surely amongst the wealthiest and have benefited unfairly under the previous administration.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Anybody know what it means?
Oh you FReepers are so good! And quick. Especially Specterism. How exactly true. This “isms” might be an old thing, I remember it before, but leave it to FReepers to make it current and appropriate now.
Antidisestablishmentarianism is a political position that originated in nineteenth-century Britain, in opposition to proposals to remove the Church of England’s status as the state church of Ireland and Wales.
Thanks!
Obamaism - You have two cows. The government confiscates 90% of the milk to redistribute to non producers, taxes you $50 per cow per year for any methane output, requires you to use feed produced with only green technology and does not allow you to plow on days when the air particulate matter is above .000000000001%.
Liberalism- You have two cows, the govt tells you to pay your fair share and takes both cows. Then they give you back one, old, beat up goat. Repeat cycle...
Obamanism:?
You have two cows. The government borrows money on them from foreign interests and buys a cow for the ignorant then has you pay taxes so you can keep yours.
Obamaism: You have two cows. Obama makes you give one of your cows to your neighbor. You have to sell most of the milk in order to pay the taxes on the methane emissions from your cow, but since your neighbor is poor enough that he had to be given one of your cows, he doesn’t have to pay those taxes. When you decide it’s more profitable to kill the cow, sell the meat, and start growing corn instead, you discover that Obama won’t allow you to own a gun with which to kill your cow, so you’re stuck paying methane taxes until she dies of old age.
I remember from english class, it is the longest word in the english language. And you spelled it AOK too!
My brother, who is 8 yrs older than me, taught me to spell it when I was about 6. I think he was learning about it in history class. I’ve never forgotten.
He never did try to explain what it meant. :)
Actually it’s not the longest word. As far as I know, that honor belongs to
Pneumonotramicroscopicsiliconvolcanoconosis
A lung disease you get from breathing very fine quartz dust
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