The Official Friday Silliness Thread

[Lucky9teen]

[G8 Diplomat]

[Monkey Face]

Golly. I sure wish I had a joke to share!

[G8 Diplomat]

This is so true...



And last but not least, a Flu Fail

[spotbust1]

What powers the air farce one hybrid? 5000 illegal aliens all flapping wings made out of recycled shopping bags?

[spotbust1]

I have small children so that pic reminds me of when Bruce swims up behind Dori and Marlin in “Finding Nemo”.

Helloooooo! (Australian accent)

[G8 Diplomat]

The Facebook 100 Days is hilarious! But they left out some stuff...

[llevrok]

Just curious, but,

why do we put on shoes and socks rather than socks and shoes?

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also, when we "go" we say we take a leak. But where do we intend to take it and why?

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Some one asks me what the weather is like, I say it's nice out. But I never say it's nice in. Why?

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[G8 Diplomat]

Heehee...making these facebook thingies is amusing :)

[Eaker]

Funny!

[envisio]

Oh cool, you own that page?

[Lady Jag]

Subject: Mammogram


"The First Time's Always the Worst"

The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire.

That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside out. I'm pretty sure Victoria's Secret doesn't have a bra for that.

Suddenly, there was a loud popping noise. I looked down at my right breast to make sure it hadn't exploded. Nope, it was still flat as a pancake and still attached to my body.

Oh no!" Gail said loudly. These are perhaps, the words you least want to hear from any health professional. Suddenly, she came flying past me, her lab coat whipping behind her, on her way out the door. She yelled over her shoulder, "The achine's on fire, I'm going to get help!"

OK, I was wrong, 'The machine's on fire,' are the worst words you can hear from a health professional. Especially if you're all alone and semi-permanently attached to A MACHINE and don't know if it's THE MACHINE in question.

I struggled for a few seconds trying to get free, but even Houdini couldn't have escaped. I decided to go to plan B: yelling at the top of my lung (the one that was still working). I hadn't seen anything on fire, so my panic hadn't quite reached epic proportions. But then I started to smell smoke coming from behind thepartition. "This is ridiculous," I thought. I can't die like this. What would they put in my obituary? Cause of death: breast entrapment?

I may have inhaled some fumes because I started to hallucinate. An imaginary fireman rushed in with a firehose and a hatchet. "Howdy, ma'am," he said.  "What's happened here?" he asked, averting his eyes.

"My breasts were too hot for the machine," I quipped, as my imaginary fireman ran out of the room again. "This is gonna take the Jaws of Life!"

In reality, Gail returned wiht a fire extinguisher and put out the fire. She gave me a big smile and released me from the machine. "Sorry! That's the first time that's ever happened. Why don't you take a few minutesto relax before we finish up?"

I think that's what she said. I was running across the parking lot in my backless paper gown at the time. After I'd relaxed for a few years, I figured I might go back. But I was bringing my own fire extinguisher.

The end.

Hope you all laughed as much as I. Now, ladies, get those mammograms but be prepared.

[Nateman]

[upchuck]

Damn HTML isn't working for me today...grrrr

To achieve best results, HTML must be treated gently and with respect. Proper feeding and watering is also necessary.

[Rocky]

The facebook page was one of the funniest bits I have ever seen. Thanks for posting that.

[G8 Diplomat]

ROFLOL!! That’s hilarious!

[G8 Diplomat]

You’ve inspired me...here’s the War on Terror online game version:

*GW_Bush has joined the game*
*Taliban has joined the game*
*AQ_mujahidz has joined the game*
*OBL has joined the game*
*Saddam has joined the game*
GW_Bush: hey all
Saddam: hey say hi to daddy for me haha
Taliban: lol
OBL: InFiDeL! ur towerz will b destroyyyyeddddd!!1! praise allah!
GW_Bush: wtf?
GW_Bush: OMGWTF*#((@&$ IM GONNA KILL U OBL
Taliban: hey wtf r u doing dont invade afgh—
*Taliban has been eliminated*
GW_Bush: hahahaha allah up urz
AQ_mujahidz: shit im gettin out of here, goin 2 iraq cya guyz
*ZalKhal has joined the game* [Zalmay Khalilzad, ambassador to Afghanista]
ZalKhal: hey GW we cant find OBL here
GW_Bush: keep looking hes probably just not talking anymore cuz he got his ass kicked
ZalKhal: k
*Karzai has joined the game*
Karzai: hey all im taking Afghanistan now
GW_Bush: sweet
GW_Bush: hey wth saddam sum of ur guys helped AQ
Saddam: liar
GW_Bush: shut up ur goin down
Saddam: lol
Saddam: hey WTF o SHIT!!!!
*Saddam has been eliminated*
GW_Bush: haha loser
*sunni_d00dz has joined the game*
sunni_d00dz: AHHH WTF LOOK WUT HE DID 2 IRAQ!!!1! get out of here or ill eliminate u!
*AmericanLeft has joined the game*
AmericanLeft: yeah get out of iraq. wtf is this about wmd’s?
GW_Bush: lol stfu commies
*AmericanLeft has left the game*
sunni_d00dz: GET OUT OF IRAQ GWBUSH!!!
GW_Bush: d00dz chill, ill give u sum of my weapons & u fight AQ k?
sunni_d00dz: k cool thx
AQ_mujahidz: hey wtf not cool
sunni_d00dz: byebye AQ
AQ_mujahidz: hey wut—
*AQ_mujahidz has been eliminated*
GW_Bush: nice work
*Maliki has joined the game*
Maliki: hey guys im takin Iraq now k?
GW_Bush: k u got it
GW_Bush: we need more troops. i need sum1 to help here
*GenPetraeus has joined the game*
GenPetraeus: hey all sup
GW_Bush: hey can u bring more of ur guys 2 Iraq?
GenPetraeus: sure here comes the surge
GW_Bush: awesome
*Mookie has joined the game*
Mookie: hey sunni_d00dz u suck shiites rule ur goin dowwwnnnn
GenPetraeus: lol
*Mookie has been eliminated*
Mookie: hey WTF?!
Maliki: lol ur an idiot mookie
GW_Bush: nice work Petraeus
GenPetraeus: thx
GW_Bush: k iraq looks good now, lemme kno if u need us, i gotta go
Maliki: k thx
*GW_Bush has left the game*
*0baMessiah has entered the game*
0baMessiah: hey any1 here? wut do i do?
OBL: get out of iraq
0baMessiah: ok
OBL: allahu akbar

[The Chief]

It was once said that a black man would be President of the United States "When Pigs Fly".

100 days into Barack Obama's presidency......

Swine Flu

[skinkinthegrass]

THANKS, for the ping! :D

[skinkinthegrass]

WHOA!...WWII...And the On-line version
(& its' aftermath), didn't kill...500> million lives.