Posted on 04/25/2009 9:47:01 AM PDT by chasio649
“Honey, do you remember our first date?” I asked Husband-Head after hanging up the phone with my old high school girlfriend from California. “What did we do and how did we meet?”
Husband-Head was sitting on the couch and it was clear that there couldn’t be a subject he was less interested in than that of reminiscing about our dating days nearly 20 years ago.
Why is it that we girls want to remember every detailed minute, yet the actual wedding date seems to be a painful memory for the men?
From what I recall, the first time I met Husband-Head, I was tending bar at a local well-known watering hole, and he and 20 of his closest friends had come in to celebrate his birthday. Each one of his so-called “buddies” had ordered him a shot of liquor and — even though this was prior to the stringent liquor laws about overserving a patron — I knew that it was not a good idea. “Ummm ... dude ... you’re gonna die if you drink all these,” I warned him as I looked at all the shot glasses lined up on the bar.
“Then go out with me,” he bargained, as he started to drink the shots.
Not wanting him to die on my shift, I agreed to meet him the next night, pretty sure that there was no way he would ever remember the date.
I was wrong.
He didn’t die, but he did show up for our date.
And we ended up getting married — not until three years later, of course — but we’ve lived happily ever after since then.
All that came back to me the other weekend when my best friend from high school in California called me to give an update on her latest dating debacle.
Dana is a single, slim, smart and stylish woman, but for some reason she’s been single all of her life. She’s tried her hand several times at the online dating services, but so far has not had much luck with the men she’s met.
We talk on the phone almost every Friday night to share the events of our week and what’s been happening in our lives.
On this particular evening, Dana was relating a recent date she’d been on with a guy she’d met on one of the online dating services. The man claimed to be a 54-year-old medical doctor.
After chatting for a while, they agreed to meet for dinner at an Outback Steakhouse restaurant. “That’s not bad,” I said, trying to be encouraging. “I hear they have great steak and pasta.”
“I don’t even LIKE pasta!” Dana pointed out.
For me, it would be all about the food, but obviously this isn’t the main course in the dating world.
“And then he had a friggin’ coupon for the blooming onion appetizer,” Dana lamented.
I found this to be kind of funny, and I laughed.
You don’t like onions, nor do you want to kiss someone after eating them?
“Then, at the end of the dinner, he pulled out a gift certificate to pay for it all,” she continued. “And this guy is supposed to be a DOCTOR!”
Hmmm ... perhaps the economy is bad even for physicians.
I put my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone so she couldn’t hear me laughing. ...
Nevertheless, Dana relayed that she continued to give him a chance and accepted an invitation to go to his apartment for a cocktail afterwards. Which, surprisingly, did not go well.
“I am not going to date a guy who drives a crappier car than I do and lives in a crappier apartment than I do,” she reported indignantly. “It was gross!”
At this point, I had my hand over my mouth and was trying not to snot in my palm...
I didn’t even venture to ask if there had been any intimacy involved and what it was like...
“And furthermore, he had a flag draped over his bed,” she continued, answering my unasked question. “And he’s not even a veteran — he’s an idiot! I am SO done with dating!”
I wanted to console her by relaying all the idiots I’d dated — and kissed — in my younger years, but I didn’t think it would make her feel better.
When you’re dating in your middle-aged years, you think you know better by now and have learned from past mistakes.
HA!
Guess what...you’re pretty much just as stupid as you were when you were 25.
I looked at Husband-Head with new eyes after Dana and I got off the phone.
“Honey, let’s go out to Red Lobster for a romantic dinner this weekend,” I suggested. “I think I have a coupon...”
“Why is it that the wedding date is a painful memory for the man?”
Don’t You think You can answer that yourself, IF, You are honest about how You have treated your “Man” since You captured him? Just sayin! :-( /s/ maybe......
No truer words were ever written! Still stupid in my 50's!
Color me clueless but I have no idea what her objection is to his using a gift certificate.
I was engaged for my only time when I was in my late 20’s. We broke up and it has been a wasteland ever since (no date since).
She wanted him to shower her with money since he was a doctor...she is a whoe...basically...you can’t get around that fact.
A man who makes good money but doesn’t squander it....who is a patriot....and who encourages a woman to eat onions without reproach....where, oh where, can I find a man like this???
The reason Dana is still single is that she is hawg-stupid. Went to his apartment after dinner? What, is she desperate for sex, even if she didn’t like the guy?
Agreed. The doctor sounds like a real, though perhaps frugal, person. It’s no surprise this woman is still single.
After the third or forth time I heard one of them loudly complaining, "where have all the GOOD men gone?"
I replied, "We got married to the good women."
“I am not going to date a guy who drives a crappier car than I do and lives in a crappier apartment than I do,”a woman who knows true love I bet.
It depends ... does “crappier” car and/or apartment simply mean inexpensive and not new, or does it mean filthy and full of trash and unpleasant insects?
I'll take a wild stab at it and say, 'because the men in her life have good taste.'
When a woman wants to diminish a man, any reason will do. It doesn't even have to make sense. This is one reason why God created mistresses.
The odds are against it. I was just looking for some stats....doesn't leave much to choose from does it?
Males in USA * 20−64 years: 89,881,041 60.1%
87,762,000 men are married.
the unemployment rate for men 8.8 percent.
Almost 5% of the adult males are incarcerated.
23.8% of adult men alcoholics or drug addicts.(not sure I believe it's that high....
BUT , you get the point. And if you think young men are a problem, you ought to get a look at the ones over 60!!
A good point. If it means of lesser value that says something not very nice about her. If it means that there are cockroaches fighting in the back seat that is a whole other animal.
Well , probably she figured if he was a doctor, he'd spend a lot of money trying to impress his date. Maybe she felt that his frugality implied she wasn't worth being treated as if she was a star.
Maybe it was just a test to see whether or not she was worth a second date, or if she was just another gold-digger. Or maybe the guy was just a loser aggrandizing his resume to get laid, who knows...
Well, if she rode to his apartment in his car (see “Too dumb to breathe without assistance ...”), then she would see trash and/or bugs. If she followed him in her car, then she would only see the model and year of his. And wouldn’t a sensible woman quickly excuse herself, if she found herself in a filthy apartment, rather than going into the bedroom for purposes not graphically specified?
My present husband lived in a fair amount of squalor when I met him (no roaches, just ants, or I’d be an old maid with catz today), but we were in our early 20’s.
Holes in the story ... maybe the author made some of it up, or maybe the subject is truly a desperately dumb b*tch.
Anyone who’s paid attention knows that if a man is really, really interested in you he will not go ‘on the cheap’. This guy was probably lying about being a doctor. Duh.
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