Kicking and hugging (Dave Barry)

Miami Herald ^ | Dave Barry

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(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Nov. 28, 2004.)

It's game night, and the Pinecrest Wolverettes are getting ready.

The Wolverettes are my daughter's soccer team. They're all 4 years old, and they're all girls. They've been practicing under their coach, Susanna. They're learning the fundamentals of soccer, which are:

1. You're supposed to kick the ball.

2. You're not supposed to pick up the ball.

3. Even if you really really want to pick up the ball, you're not supposed to.

4. If you have to go potty, try to wait for a water break instead of just trotting off the field.

5. It can be hard to remember this sometimes, but DON'T PICK UP THE BALL, OK?

The practices have been grueling. There's a lot of physical contact, in the form of hugging. The Wolverettes hug when they first see each other, of course, but they also hug whenever they re-encounter each other after an absence of more than 30 seconds, or when any player achieves something outstanding on the athletic front, such as making direct physical contact with the ball using her foot. So there are hugs going on all over the place all the time, often with three or four Wolverettes clumping together and reaching a critical mass of affection that falls to the ground emitting squeals of joy. Fortunately, they are all wearing shin guards.

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pong

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Dave:

How do I delete the Chetah girl song that my daughter put on my IPOD?

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How adorable. Brings back lots of happy memories.

[Rockiette]

I watched a teeny baseball game of little girls, all in pink baseball caps and little pink and white uniforms, the parents were quietly watching in the stands. The cameras were all over the place (I was there to watch one of my sons games in 9 to 10 age group). Anyway, one of the little cuties hit the ball off the tee (that sent the parents into joy, she actually hit it) then she proceeded to “run” to first base when a gust of wind took off her little pink cap, she stopped and knelt down to retrieve it, put it on, stood up and went on to make it to first. The parents’ looks were priceless, amazement then applause, gosh they were so fun to watch, even my son smiled, shook his head and walked to the parking lot. What happy memories.

[Hebrews 11:6]

Years ago, it is alleged, a rookie major leaguer was running after a foul popup when his hat blew off. He stopped, went back, picked it up, and replaced it atop his knucklehead, only then renewing his pursuit.

He was sent back to the minor leagues after the game.

Both my daughters played Bobby Sox softball. One day I was walking to the car with one of them after a practice when she said, "This is so much fun! I wish I had started sooner." I replied, "Well, I tried to get you interested the last couple of years." She said, "Why didn't you just make me?"

[Bob]

One of the nice things about under-6 boys playing soccer is that you never have to wonder where the ball is -- just look for the clump of kids moving as a group around the field. The ball is in there somewhere. :=)

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lol