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$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$

Posted on 03/13/2009 5:34:37 AM PDT by Lucky9teen


Americans... still believe in an America, where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do.

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.


I think when you spread the wealth around it's good for everybody.

CONTINUING TO FAIL OVER...AND OVER...AND OVER AGAIN!
We reward people a lot for being rich, for being famous, for being cute, for being thin… one of the values I think we need to instill in our country, in our children, is a sense of ‘usefulness’, in other words, are we useful, are we making other peoples’ lives a little bit better?


My first job is to say thank you to those who voted me. Those who didn't, I'm going to get your vote next time.

My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it.



Instead of having a set of policies that are equipping people for the globalization of the economy,
we have policies that are accelerating the most destructive trends of the global economy.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: fail; globalization; obama; obamajokes; obamanation; obamonomics; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 03/13/2009 6:44:18 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (Communist China is doing more to foster capitalism in their country than our politicians are doing.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Two cry babies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VNs1FBIaoQ


42 posted on 03/13/2009 6:44:52 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: WakeUpAndVote
Photobucket
43 posted on 03/13/2009 6:45:21 AM PDT by marine86297 (I'll never forgive Clinton for Somalia, my blood is on his hands)
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To: Lucky9teen

44 posted on 03/13/2009 6:45:28 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (Communist China is doing more to foster capitalism in their country than our politicians are doing.)
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To: Lucky9teen

45 posted on 03/13/2009 6:47:48 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (Communist China is doing more to foster capitalism in their country than our politicians are doing.)
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To: Lucky9teen

46 posted on 03/13/2009 6:49:48 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (Communist China is doing more to foster capitalism in their country than our politicians are doing.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Bob Hope was able to explain the phenomenon of Obama worship in this short 24 second clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM


47 posted on 03/13/2009 6:49:54 AM PDT by NavyCanDo
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To: Lucky9teen

in b4 50


48 posted on 03/13/2009 6:57:31 AM PDT by egannacht
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To: egannacht

49...


49 posted on 03/13/2009 6:58:12 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Te odeo, interfice te cochleare)
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To: Dead Corpse

fitty


50 posted on 03/13/2009 6:59:52 AM PDT by Travis T. OJustice (Want to make a conservative angry? Lie to him. Want to make a liberal angry? Tell him the truth)
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To: Lucky9teen


The Logic of Failure: Recognizing and Avoiding Error in Complex Situations, by Dietrich Dörner. The author tells a story of a city council and its mayor trying to fix the volume of traffic, noise, and air pollution in their downtown area. To solve the problem they introduced speed bumps and the speed limit was reduced to 20 miles per hour. But the results were unexpected: 1) the speed bumps forced people to drive in a lower gear, thus increasing the noise and exhaust fumes; 2) but because of the reduced speed, people spent more time shopping, and this actually increased the number of cars in the downtown area; 3) eventually fewer and fewer went downtown because of these reasons; 4) people started shopping in a near-by mall; 5) downtown stores, once thriving, were facing bankruptcy, and 6) tax revenues were significantly down. “The fate of this environment-conscious town demonstrates how human planning and decision-making processes can go awry if we do not pay enough attention to possible side effects and long-term repercussions, if we apply corrective measures too aggressively or too timidly, of if we ignore premises we should have considered.” [p.2]
51 posted on 03/13/2009 7:04:10 AM PDT by egannacht
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To: Travis T. OJustice

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying “Yo.”

Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They’re hiring.

What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... “a recipe”.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time...” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit...”


52 posted on 03/13/2009 7:04:27 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: marine86297

United States has USS = United States Ship
England has HMS = His/Her Majesties Ship
Itally has DAB = Datsa My Boat


53 posted on 03/13/2009 7:05:38 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket
54 posted on 03/13/2009 7:05:41 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: sunny48

Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States. <~~and that ain’t NO lie!!!

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What’s the Cuban national anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat


55 posted on 03/13/2009 7:06:20 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: sunny48

some good ones


56 posted on 03/13/2009 7:08:41 AM PDT by egannacht
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To: sunny48

Great Jokes! Those will be read to my fellow jurors during our first break today.


57 posted on 03/13/2009 7:21:20 AM PDT by Loud Mime (The IRS collectes $1 trillion in taxes each year. Why not forgive all taxes for a year? Stimulus!)
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Photobucket
58 posted on 03/13/2009 7:29:36 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: Lucky9teen





59 posted on 03/13/2009 7:30:41 AM PDT by G8 Diplomat (I'm learning Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, Pashtu, and Russian so someday you won't have to)
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To: girlscout

Titanic Fail


60 posted on 03/13/2009 7:30:47 AM PDT by MissNomer (Proud member of FR's "Final 300")
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