Posted on 03/05/2009 5:01:48 AM PST by Esther Ruth
Enduring Union
Man joins ailing wife in facility as more retirement homes make effort to accommodate couples
By Lolly Bowean | TRIBUNE REPORTER
March 5, 2009
From the time they started dating some 62 years ago, Ernest and Gloria Dalpos have been nearly inseparable.
They married in 1949, raised their children in Lemont, and after Ernest retired, sold their house and lived in Washington with their son for a while before returning to Illinois.
Then Gloria Dalpos, 81, had to move to a Joliet retirement home to get specialized care. Her husband visited daily for about three weeks before deciding to move in with her.
Ernest Dalpos, 92, doesn't need help caring for himself, but moving to Our Lady of Angels Retirement Home meant he could be close to his wife again.
"I didn't want to be by myself," he said.
"He'd come every day to see me," said Gloria Dalpos, who has Parkinson's disease. "I'd tell him if the weather is bad, don't come. But he'd come
anyhow. It was always good to see him."
In recent years, more and more couples have been choosing to be together in assisted living facilities even when one can live independently, experts say. The increase is evidenced by the growing number of assisted living facilities making arrangements to accommodate couples, said Linda Rubinowitz, a clinical psychologist and instructor at Northwestern University's Family Institute.
"Particularly people who have been married for a long time and developed a strong bond, it's very hard for them to be apart," Rubinowitz said. "When one needs specialized care, it's hard for the other to be away."
(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...
Rest of the article good and the picture of the two of them in 1949 in the paper is beautiful but doesn’t come up on line :(
Where've You Been
Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I've held you near
Now at last you're really here
Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away
He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman's wife
He was home each night by 8
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door
They'd never spent a night apart
For 60 yrs she heard him snore
Now they're in a hospital
In seperate beds on different floors
Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said
Where have you been
I've searched for you forever and a day
Where have you been
I'm just not myself when your away
I'm just not myself when your away
Beautiful
I work in assisted living. Just as a side note, our industry is also in jeopardy because retired people are not able to sell their homes in order to enter an assisted living facility. I believe companies who provide in-home services are in a better position to weather the recession.
No doubt about it, if things continue the way they are, we are all going to have to go back to the original plan A, extended families, relatives living very close together.
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