Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Friday Funny (Ok maybe too close to reality)
Email | Unk | Unk

Posted on 01/30/2009 8:41:08 AM PST by Danae

Governmentium

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: governmnetuim; periodictable
LOL
1 posted on 01/30/2009 8:41:08 AM PST by Danae
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Danae

PING


2 posted on 01/30/2009 8:46:02 AM PST by pvoce ('Good' sense and 'Common' sense are two entirely different concepts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Danae
thief! i posted this months ago.

but i still get a hearty laugh from reading it! ;^)

3 posted on 01/30/2009 8:51:50 AM PST by robomatik ((wine plug: renascentvineyards.com cabernet sauvignon, riesling, and merlot))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Danae

p.s. you left out the second half of the article


4 posted on 01/30/2009 8:57:31 AM PST by robomatik ((wine plug: renascentvineyards.com cabernet sauvignon, riesling, and merlot))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Danae

Sweet! I like it!!
LOLOL


5 posted on 01/30/2009 9:01:33 AM PST by gimme1ibertee (Trust but verify.....Ronnie,we sure do miss you,sir!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: robomatik
You are now obliged to provide the balance.
...us peons need to know the ending.
6 posted on 01/30/2009 9:03:24 AM PST by norton
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: robomatik

OH NOES! DO you have the link? I just got it this morning... lol Post it up! You deserve the credit!


7 posted on 01/30/2009 9:08:32 AM PST by Danae (Amerikan Unity My Ass)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Danae

bttt


8 posted on 01/30/2009 9:11:02 AM PST by ConservativeMan55
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Danae
OH NOES! DO you have the link? I just got it this morning... lol Post it up! You deserve the credit!

The thing is *years*, maybe decades, old. So old I can't recall the first time I saw it.

9 posted on 01/30/2009 9:57:09 AM PST by El Gato ("The Second Amendment is the RESET button of the United States Constitution." -- Doug McKay)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Danae
The actual spoof goes back to 1988, in a slightly different form, concerning only adminstratium. The spoof was written by William DeBuvitz in 1988 and first appeared in print in The Physics Teacher (January 1989 issue).
10 posted on 01/30/2009 10:06:55 AM PST by El Gato ("The Second Amendment is the RESET button of the United States Constitution." -- Doug McKay)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Danae; norton
oops! please excuse my memory lapse. that was the entire article. link
11 posted on 01/30/2009 4:21:51 PM PST by robomatik ((wine plug: renascentvineyards.com cabernet sauvignon, riesling, and merlot))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson