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There’s no such thing as love.
“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.”
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
The quality of love ALWAYS relies on the integrity of the being promising that love. No integrity, no character, no love... or love that is distractable.
Love may not last for ever, but these alimony payments sure seem to.
My love runs by like a day in June,
And he makes no friends of sorrows.
He’ll tread his galloping rigadoon
In the pathway or the morrows.
He’ll live his days where the sunbeams start
Nor could storm or wind uproot him.
My own dear love, he is all my heart —
And I wish somebody’d shoot him.
— Dorothy Parker
Oh, when I was in love with you,
Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
How well did I behave.
And now the fancy passes by,
And nothing will remain,
And miles around they’ll say that I
Am quite myself again.
— A. E. Housman
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
This guy has no idea. He is giving miserable advice to all of these men. This is Mrs. Cromwell, married for 29.5 years. What matters is the character of the person you marry and your character, and their commitment to it- and yours. Commitment is true love. All of the feelings in the world will fade over time without both.
I enjoyed this article, thanks for posting. I hope that it encourages a good discussion on this thread.....
Very interesting. I will save this for my daughter.
Let’s examine these four pillars of love:
Lust — Lust is a powerful sexual attraction between mates. Without lust, two people are just companions. Lust is the result of mutual connection — physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, philosophical, political — manifesting as respect, admiration, and desire for intimacy. Lust cannot be sustained without the other three pillars (see below). Without lust, people get bored and stray. Women often are counseled by their mothers to disregard lust as unnecessary in a marriage (just catch a good provider); that’s why so many women cheat on and divorce their husbands. Many men find lustful women intimidating or offensive; that’s why they marry boring wives and then cheat on them. It’s a myth that lust is a short-term phenomenon. When asked why he never strayed in his 50-year marriage to Joanne Woodward, Paul Newman said: “Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?” Note: a quick way to kill lust is to eat like a pig and avoid the gym.
Obligation – Obligation is the mutual commitment to watch each other’s back, to defend each other, to speak well of each other in public and to the children, to rally each other, to be there for each other in difficult times (except in the case of self-destructive behavior like drug addiction), to consider each other in all major decisions, to be responsive to each other, to follow through consistently on promises to each other, to be faithful to each other, and to put each other first above all else and everybody else. Obligation, in this case, is meant not to be drudgery but voluntary and heartfelt. If you cannot imagine living up to or receiving these obligations one year or five years hence, love doesn’t exist in your situation. And, if one of you attempts to harm or destroy the other, at any time (including divorce court), love never existed between you.
Veracity – Veracity means truth. Two people must communicate the truth to each other — about their feelings, thoughts, likes & dislikes, intentions, agendas, and actions — and they must do so willingly, frequently, and effortlessly. Alas, most people do not live this way, and that’s why most relationships fail. If two people meet online, and their dating profiles contained lies (age, weight, photos, etc.), they’re already doomed. There’s a myth that women convey their feelings more easily, willingly, and truthfully than men. Not only is this a myth, it’s a downright lie. If two people don’t have mutual and sustainable veracity, starting with initial contact, they have no love.
Equality – Equality is the antithesis of entitlement. Equality means that neither man nor woman is treated better or regarded more highly than the other, period. With equality, neither partner has rights or privileges superior to those of the other. A woman who expects that a man will wine & dine her, “because that’s the way it’s done,” doesn’t believe in equality. No love here. Conversely, a man who expects a woman to pick up his dirty socks, “because that’s the way it’s done,” doesn’t believe in equality — if she consents, neither does she. If a woman’s attraction to a man is predicated on the carats, casas, and cars he provides her, she doesn’t believe in equality — if he consents, neither does he. No love here.
I love ya Roger! :)
That's for sure.
Love means having to say you’re sorry, even when you’re not.