Murdered New York Couple Leaves Bitter Will

www.nypost.com ^ | August 26, 2008 | ALEX GINSBERG

[Publius804]

SLAIN COUPLE'S WEIRD WILL

By ALEX GINSBERG

August 26, 2008 --

They were bitter to the end - and beyond.

A Brooklyn couple slain in their home last month spoke from the grave in drafted last wills, leaving a bizarre legacy for unloved ones they detested in life.

"To my brother who I know hopes to be in my will, well, here you are," chided Mark Schwartz, 50, as he bequeathed nothing to his estranged sibling, Robert, in an unsigned April 2006 draft.

In an earlier version, Schwartz had already left his brother "the sum of zero ($0.00) Dollars," zinging, "I believe this sum is fitting, as you are probably the most greedy person I know.

"With respect to the will dated April/May 1995, . . . believe me, it's worthless, and just in case, I expressly void again," Schwartz said. "You are probably screaming and yelling by now.

But, "Robert, brothers are supposed to want each other to be the most they can be and make the most money they can. You, on the other hand, just sat in judgment of me and were always jealous.

"I, on the other hand, only wished you the best and to win the lottery.

"So, Robert, you have a choice, you can come to my grave site to say hello out of love or piss on me for not giving you money."

[Kevmo]

bmflr

[TASMANIANRED]

It’s their money.. Let them disburse it as they see fit.

[Tainan]

You know, I go and read the article, and read some of the comments, and I think these two are getting a bad rep from this story.
They were murdered in their home and look at the additional grief being foisted on them.
None of these 'wills' were signed, as it says in the piece; so I'm thinking that maybe they were try-outs for the real will should they finally decide to make one out.
The woman obviously had a very bad previous marriage. Hints of bad spousal abuse from her ex-husband. It looks like they found some happiness with each other in a situation where there wasn't much happiness from either family. For that...they were blessed.
And the guy obviously had a heck of a sense of humor...buried in a scuba suit...use the money to pay for any legal difficulties with this...I'd say he liked a good joke.

Maybe its just cutting them slack because they were murdered, which is a terrible thing, but I don't get the same picture of these two that the story might at first show.
Just my take. They look happy together in the picture, I ain't so pretty either. Bless 'Em.

[r_barton]

This was posted in a San Francisco Bay Area newspaper a month or two ago:

Dolores Aguilar

1929 - Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008 in Napa, California. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby. She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone. Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing. Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again. There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

[PLMerite]

Wow. Words fail me and that’s saying something.

[Lancey Howard]

I smell a ‘Law and Order: Criminal Intent’ episode coming out of this.

[The_Reader_David]

Reminds me of the classic Volkswagen ad.

“. . .to my beloved wife. . . who spent money like there was no tomorrow, I leave $100 and a calendar. To my sons. . . who spent every dime I ever gave them on fancy women and fast cars, I leave $50 in dimes. To my business associate. . .who said “spend, spend, spend!” I leave “nothing, nothing, nothing!”. . .”

I don’t remember the names of the beneficiaries.

Of course the VW driving nephew gets the entire fortune of $17 billion (or something like that, and that was late ‘60’s dollars).

[Lucky9teen]

Reminds me of “The Frantics”: Last Will & Temperament

LAWYER: As executor of Mr. Muldoon’s estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Muldoon’s Last Will and Testament.

HEDGE: Well, get on with it! The bars open soon.

JENNY: Oh, poor Arthur! Waah!

HANK: There, there Jenny!

RALSTON: How predictably boring.

MRS. MULROY: I never worked for a kinder man.

LAWYER: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.

RALSTON: I knew it.

HEDGE: Hah, hah, hah, hah.

LAWYER: I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body —

HEDGE: That’s a laugh! Hah, hah, hah, hah...

LAWYER: — do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional sister Jenny —

JENNY: Waahh!

HANK: Jenny, darling, he’s talking about us.

LAWYER: — who grubbed with her husband Hank, grubbed for everything they could get from me and then shed crocodile tears when I needed sympathy; to Jenny I leave... a boot to the head.

HEDGE: Hah, hah, hah, hah!

JENNY: A what ? (THUMP!) Ow!

HANK: Jenny, are you okay?

LAWYER: And another boot to her wimpy husband Hank.

HANK: (THUMP!) Ow!

LAWYER: Ah, but still, you are my sister. You have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it —

JENNY: Oh, dear Arthur, he’s too kind!

LAWYER: — I bequeath... another boot to the head.

JENNY: What? (THUMP!) Ow!

HEDGE: Hah, hah, hah, hah!

LAWYER: And another one for the wimp.

HANK: (THUMP!) Ow!

LAWYER: Next, to my alcoholic brother —

HEDGE: Hey, I don’t want no boot to the head.

LAWYER: — to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day in his drunken life —

HEDGE: I’m covering up my head!

LAWYER: — I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey.

HEDGE: Really?

LAWYER: And a boot to the head.

HEDGE: (THUMP!) Oh!

LAWYER: And another for Jenny and the wimp.

JENNY: (THUMP!) Uh!

HANK: (THUMP!) Ow!

LAWYER: Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston —

RALSTON: This is so predictable.

LAWYER: I leave a boot to the head.

RALSTON: (THUMP!) Uh! I knew it.

LAWYER: And one for Jenny and the wimp.

JENNY: (THUMP!) Ow!

HANK: (THUMP!) Oh!

LAWYER: This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mrs. Mulroy —

MRS. MULROY: Oh, ah, I don’t want nuthin’.

LAWYER: — who took care of me faithfully these many many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea —

MRS. MULROY: Oh, I didn’t mind.

LAWYER: To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath... a boot to the head.

MRS. MULROY: (THUMP!) Oh!

LAWYER: And one for Jenny and the wimp.

JENNY: (THUMP!) Ah!

HANK: (THUMP!) Oh!

LAWYER: And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave my entire, vast... boot to the head.

MITTENS: (THUMP!) Mroooow!

LAWYER: And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian Devil TO BE PLACED IN HIS TROUSERS??? (growling...) Uhh! Huh! Huh! Huh! (panicking...) And, and, and I leave my entire estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary so they can afford to move somewhere decent