Posted on 09/11/2008 3:49:13 AM PDT by freeplancer
Anyone have a stungun or tazer story? I recently purchased a new stun gun for my wife, and instead of the standard 300,000-650,000 volt guns, I purchased the 1 million volt model. Well, I took a page out of my military training and decided that we should test it out so we truly know what it will do. Like getting gassed in basic training and getting hammered by a puke laser in Afghanistan, I vounteered to do the deed.
My wife really did not want to do it, or so she stated, but I talked her into it quite easily. I knelt on our bed and I have to say that I felt brave up until that point. I had a little brow sweat going and my heart started pounding but I told her to go for it. It was crazy. The noise of the thing scared the heck out of me but just when my mind was processing what that sound was, I dropped onto the bed and my body freaked out. I felt like I might be on my way to death for a brief second, but thank goodness the pain went away quickly. I recovered, but it was not fun and I am not really laughing about it yet. My wife found it very disturbing but she did end up very confident about the perfomance of the thing.
My only regret was that I wished I would not have been stunned on my butt cheek. I think the arm or shoulder would have been better.
I know someone who went through police academy training. He was tazed as part of the training (he said pepper spray was worse because tazing lasted only a few seconds while pepper spray hurts for a while!).
They also had a paramedic standing by, however.
Yup, with a defibrillator ready and charged, I'm sure.
No leakage. Everything tightened up.
With the shock delivered on freeplancer's kazoo, the chance of a lethal reaction would be near nil.
That's just common sense, I am not a professional scientist nor have I ever played one on TV. I have not done this "research" myself, but I wouldn't be fearful of taking that same shock.
I got this in an email the other day.
Subject: FW: TASER story
If you have never read this story you are in for a treat. If you read it more than a day ago you are still in for a treat.
Pocket TASER Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket TASER for their Anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.
The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, Pocket/purse sized TASER.
The effects of the TASER were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed.
I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it.
She is such a sweet cat but, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong??
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and TASER in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring a bout 5” long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!!
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best...? I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ‘ don’t do it dipshit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.
I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . ...
WHAT THE H...!!!
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a TASER, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
A three second burst would be considered conservative?
*!*?*!!!, THAT HURT LIKE H....!!!
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I s... myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone.
I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe it came from my hair.
I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P. S.
My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
‘If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.’
Your "common sense" would be dead wrong depending on the electrical potentials of the different points of the body being tazed.
-Yossarian
Electrical Engineer, IEEE Senior Member
Merely a mating ritual in some circles.
Pay it no heed.
NEXT TIME YOU POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT... Please post a warning! I laughed so hard and spewed coffee all over my keyboard and monitor! The monitor shorted out and set off the sprinklers.
GOOD POST. I only hope that people can learn from this guys “life lesson.”
What a question!
LMAO!!! Men! You guys just can’t resist when curiosity gets the best of you, can you?!
Years ago I had to get hit with pepper spray as part of my security training. There were about 4 of us and one hose. I was the only female. It’s wasn’t a pretty situation.
I discovered that I can be pretty mean!
Thanks for posting that ... I haven’t laughed so hard since the last time I read Dave Barry’s recount of his colonoscopy.
Beebers set to 1.5MV stune...
Pinging you because, well, just because!
he he ha ha that and never lick a razor blade to see if its sharp
hm never been tazed but I’ve been gassed twice (not directly) in Lebanon & Peru, had glass fragments fly into my leg in Morocco, & was in the center of a small mob scene in Syria. Whew.
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