MORFORD: Vote for Bush? Pay up

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/6/8 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

Did you help put America's worst prez into power? Time to make amends -

Sure, you could start with an open-palmed apology, a profoundly contrite on-your-knees sort of thing, maybe an open letter in your local paper or a heartfelt speech at your next dinner party whereby you stumble though some sort of "I don't know what the hell I was thinking" or "I must've been blind" or "Wow, that mescaline sure was potent" type of defense for your unfortunate and reprehensible choices.

But the fact is, that's not really gonna cut it.

Of course, you could do the obvious thing and cast your vote in November for Barack Obama, but even I know that's probably asking too much — and besides, all signs indicate a potential landslide for Obama anyway, given the unprecedented worldwide rush of positive energy, the tremendous cosmic craving for intelligent and new and ingenuous, coupled with a deep undercurrent of karmic revulsion toward the wonky, bloodthirsty agenda of grandpa McCain.

So then, what can you do, all you increasingly humiliated, disillusioned, deeply mistaken Bush voters? How can you, having hopefully realized by now the violent error of your ways, take steps both small and large to try and make amends for shoving Dubya down the throat of the world, for your tiny but oh so poisonous contribution to the worst and most demeaning eight years in modern American politics?

First, let's be clear: As tempting as it is, I do not suggest some grand humiliating gesture, some sweetly demeaning spectacle whereby you must dye your hair blue and run naked through the streets of rural Alabama waving a rainbow flag and carrying a bottle of fresh stem cells as you suddenly claim to care deeply about blue fin tuna and Brazilian...

[popdonnelly]

Drop dead, Morford.

[Doohickey]

Petulant little faggots make me smile.

[KirbDog]

Petulant little faggots make me smile.

ROTFLMAO

[ExGeeEye]

I voted for Bush three times (couning the 2000 primary) and would do so again if he was available.

He will be missed, no matter who succeeds him.

[Flycatcher]

Worst writing I ever read. Only in ultra-lib San Francisco does this tripe pass for “journalism.”

I second that. He belches out adjectives like other people belch out rhyming couplets. It's not pretty.

[GladesGuru]

Whatever dialect Morford is speaking, he still doesn’t know anything about Alabama.

Morphie, going the compost route, and the gardening bit takes time away from reloading, range time, and hunting time.

Now be the sweetie we all know you to be and google the strange new words you read in my previous sentence. Then you will begin to understand the men in Alabama.

PS No charge for the analysis or the advice.

;-)

[SmithL]

[Mr Inviso]

This guy isnt the sharpest tool in the shed.... Now,I’m not saying he isn’t a tool, he is definitely a tool. He’s just not sharp.

[Impy]

" but I've been doing a bit of actual homework (!), and it turns out that homosexuality is simply all over the animal kingdom, across all sorts of species, and animals seem to enjoy it for both survival and pleasure."

Survival? WTF?

This is most insulting article I've ever read. This man should head to rural Alabama East St. Louis with blue hair and a rainbow flag.

[Lonely Bull]

" but I've been doing a bit of actual homework (!), and it turns out that homosexuality is simply all over the animal kingdom, across all sorts of species, and animals seem to enjoy it for both survival and pleasure."

Survival? WTF?

After he explains that part, I'd like to hear him defend sexual dimorphism in humans. Well, I've been doing a bit of actual homework, and it turns out that sexual dimorphism is simply all over the animal kingdom, across all sorts of species, and animals still seem to enjoy one antoher for both survival and pleasure.

Also, many animals never wear clothes, never cook or even wash their food before eating it, and can't be housebroken, but he has enough bad ideas for one life.