2. In an assault soldiers poke their heads up and fire.
3. Pistols can hit a man 100 yards away and knock him down.... while everybody with a machine gun misses from 5 feet away.
4. Prisoner in prison are just jokers with "hard times" but really deep down just need a second.... third...fourth... fifth...chance.
5. DNA evidence comes back in 3 hours.
6. If you get shot in the shoulder, it's going to take a bandage, sling and week "to be fine".
7. When you get shot in the belly or anywhere in the torso, the bullet knocks you down and you die instantly.... if you're the bad guy.... if you're the good guy, you get to look up and say something profound and then die.
8. All gay guys are nicer than hetero guys and would make great boyfriends..... except for that one little problem. ....oh and AIDS, Chlamydia, Syphilis, anal warts, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C.... narcissistic, sociopathic tendencies,
9. Homeless people are just "down on their luck" and aren't alcoholic, drug using, shiftless, lazy, schizophrenic, bipolar, criminals that would attack, rape, rob and murder you.
10. Bears, cougars, mountain lions are afraid of people and if we'd just leave them alone or carry a whistle they will run away.....
11. . guns are also useless and good people don't own them. Only thugs (who are really cool guys that rap and smoke the chronic) or right wing Christians that would hang all your black, gay and Jewish friends and use their bodies for target practice.
12. Girls can get drunk at bars and nice guys will take them home and tuck them in bed..... and if they do have sex.. will actually be the man of her dreams and she will not get Hep C, Hep B, herpes, GC, etc....
Guys that get drunk in college all the time do really well after they graduate......
Until they drive an Oldsmobile off a bridge.
One time my then 8 year old son suckered me while we were playing Halo, and blew my head off with a rocket launcher from about 300 yeads away.
When I respawned, I put a bullet through his helmet with a pistol from at least 100 yards out.
But that was Halo. :-)
Excellent list, BTW,especially item 12.
9. Homeless people are just "down on their luck" and aren't alcoholic, drug using, shiftless, lazy, schizophrenic, bipolar, criminals that would attack, rape, rob and murder you.
Myth #1000: Everyone "different," period, is automatically cute & virtuous, with something profound to teach to "normals."
In fact, everyone who is non-male, non-white, and heterosexually challenged wears a halo. The rest are all mean & evil.
In Regards to number 12.
A girl friend and I was attending a conference when she found out her Boyfriend was cheating on her. She already had pretty good buzz going and started to drink more. Being the gentleman and friend I am, I got her out of there before she a really bad lifechoice and got her back to the room and made sure she was cool.
She thanked me the next day.
Not all men are pigs. Some of us do have morals.