Posted on 06/26/2008 12:29:04 PM PDT by rface
Difference between cats and dogs: Dogs think, "Wowee, these people feed me, play with me, give me toys, clean up my mess and make me very happy. They must be gods!" Cats think, "Wowee, these people feed me, play with me, give me toys, clean up my mess and make me very happy. I must be a god!"
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People who have cats really want a dog but haven't got the time to keep one. So they settle for a cat which is vastly inferior because you can't take it for walks, it wont bring anything back to you unless it killed it first, and it will never ever treat you with anything less than complete contempt.
It is well known, in fact that cats ARE dogs, in spite of what those silly, left-wing inspired dictionaries, naturalists, scientists, and pet owners claim. We at Conservapedia face an uphill battle undoing several centuries of leftwing brainwashing that attempts to sell the notion that these domesticated, four-legged mammal carnivores are different animals entirely, and as soon as I find some scientists and naturalists who agree with me, I'll be sure to post them as cites. Honest. Cross my heart and hope to die.
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People who have dogs are emotionally insecure individuals who need the validation of constant, interminable, unremitting, unconditional affection, affection, affection. That is why Walt Whitman wrote:
I think I could turn and live with cats, they are so placid and self-contain’d I stand and look at them long and long. They do not sweat and whine about their condition; They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins; Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago; Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth.
Also, dogs slobber.
Well, cats do, too, but at least cats have the courtesy to spread it thinly and discreetly all over their body in a dignified way, where it dries out and becomes invisible except for adding that subtle gloss to their coat.
Unlike our Newfoundland who flings great stringy arcs of slobber all over the house, leaving big dried strings of Newfie spittle on the couch, the television set, and as high as five feet up on our walls.
Cats have many uses of which I'll name just a few.
Cats can be: -Made into violin or racquet strings
-Eaten in fine foreign cuisine
-Taunted for amusement with yarn, feathers and the like
-Dropped upside-down from very high places, only to land rightside-up
-Made into effective scapegoats of superstitious belief
-Killed eight times and emerge unscathed
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From this short list, surely everyone can begin to see just how useful cats truly are!
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Cats are subtle, devious and very very egocentric. Cats treat humans as if they were other cats, whereas dogs attempt to become human. Cats will come to you to be stroked, but if you don't do it right, or they tire of you, you may find that you are suddenly grabbed by claws or teeth. It's what a cat would do to another cat (on friendly terms) to say 'ok, thats enough'. I have known cats to walk into a room, lie on a chair, and when asked to move pretend to be asleep, then behave as if they have been there for hours. Soem cats will even argue with you visibly and vocally. If you understand cat intelligence, you are in a world of subtlety, arrogance and individual need. It's like having the most determined and self-assured three year old imaginable.....
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When one calls a dog, the dog comes.
When one calls a cat, the cat takes a message.
GREAT pinup by the bye!
I have a putty that looks like that.
I love CAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
A cat, on the other hand, won't even open it's eyes as you leave out the front door with your suitcases as long as you gave it enough food and water. It's attitude is "Good. Scram. See you when you get back. Got the bed all to myself and I will fur it up good too."
I like the picture of the blonde chick.
H
It beats coming back as Rosie O’Donnell, I guess.
But not by much. :)
I have a feeling my dog would alter your cat's world view. He's a rescue from Hurricane Katrina, and based on his behavior around cats, I suspect he may have subsisted on them for a few weeks following his abandonment.
Yes.
>> Most of us like dogs but everyone likes a little pussy
cat.
Well played.
H
The hairballs are smaller.
Today is a prequel to Friday Silliness.
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
/johnny
I’ve got one of those in my garage, I use it for a small tool tray.
Their descendants haven't forgotten.
I don’t own a cat or a dog — though if I had to choose, it’d be an English Bulldog. A slow-moving, lazy, low maintenance, guy’s-guy dog that’ll sit and watch a ballgame with you. No cats, no dogs that could tear me apart while I sleep (i.e. Rottweiller, Pit Bull, etc.), and certainly not one of those hyperactive rat-dogs.
But, my opinion ... both are just substitutes for children. If I hear one more person talk about a pet like its a child, I might lose it.
Its not a child, its a dog. If you wouldn’t throw yourself in front of a speeding 18-wheeler to save life of the dog — it ain’t the same thing. If you wouldn’t take a bullet to the gut for the dog, it ain’t the same thing.
I understand the appeal of dogs (cats are still lost on me) ... but it isn’t your baby.
H
Dittos.
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