*** Official Weekend Singles' Thread - May 30 to June 1

This weekend's topic is crushes, and once again, this one wasn't my idea. The idea may still be interesting, and we'll see what people have to say. Just in case, I'm going to try to give some extra bonus questions.

A couple of things are true about crushes. First, everyone has had them. Second, I'm not sure that anyone really likes admitting them. If I'm right, maybe this will be a difficult thread, but I'm not going to ask anyone to admit to anything.

A third thing about crushes may be that we don't all agree on how they are defined. I've heard of at least one definition that casts them in a negative light. According to this definition, a crush involves a great deal of sexual fantasy that often isn't appropriate. Other definitions are more innocent. In these, a crush involves feelings of attraction, including physical attraction, but does not include a strong desire for anything inappropriate. An example of the former would be a teenage girl willing to do anything for the star quarterback on the football team or a rock musician. An example of the latter would be a young boy feeling an attraction to his teacher. What is your definition? When someone speaks of having a crush or when you think of having a crush, do you think of something innocent although maybe frustrating or do you think of something not so innocent? Do you distinguish between crushes and other feelings of attraction or infatuation?

The next question is what qualities tend to make you or those you know have crushes on someone? Do you fall for a certain "type" or have you had these feelings for all kinds of people?

Are you more likely to have a crush on someone that you know in real life, or are you more likely to have a crush on some public figure that you know through the media?

How do you think most crushes turn out? Do they ever lead to serious romantic relationships? Do they ever lead to solid friendships?

What questions have I failed to ask about this topic? If you were hosting this weekend, how would you have approached the topic?

I have enough “horror stories” about experiences in my life to scare most people from sleeping for a week or two!! Believe me I have shared a VERY small amount of them (publicly—a couple of FReepers got a couple of PM’s about some other things over the years)—there are others that would make some here shiver!!

Man, I hear ya, my horror story, I thought I was going to jail the way it sounded. Either that or I'd run to Libya and be living in the desert somewhere. B-) That's why if the chance comes along, I have to examine all angles, although it was close to 20 years ago, it still smarts from time to time.

and THIS week...I had a number of"nice" things happen...my pay is late AND my hours have again been cut, the guy who hit-and-ran my van a couple of weeks ago is NOT going to take responsibility for it (and if I want MY insurance company to take care of it--it will no doubt raise my premiums AND I have to come up with a $250 deductible), and my tax bill for the house for this half year ($1200) has come EARLY and is due EARLY too.

Ouch! Is the van still drivable? I know a few years ago, I rear ended a minivan, my headlights switch wasn't working right and while jiggling for a "sweet spot" to make them work, that's what happened. Of course I was at fault, the insurance comapny judged it so plus I knew it anyways so I pleaded no contest and just took responsibility. Well, I know insurance companies generally give you "one gimmee" for an accident at fault so my premiums stayed the same. What was weird in that there was like $2500 to $3000 damaged I caused the van but I escaped with no damage (I have a 1994 Ford Explorer) except the bracket where the front license plate (I still have the dealer plate there, in Penna, we only have one license plate) and the dealer plate is bent.

Still, currently, I need rotors (front), drums (rear), an exhaust system, and bodywork on my rear/right rocker panel, I'm glad I'm working on my "second job" to add to my unemployment with web pages, I failed inspection a few months ago. It is still drivable and will still drive it, hey, I need to live plus I do have a "guardian angel" medallion in it so I should be OK. B-) Still, my grade school buddy and myself will do the labor on it. He works for Advance Auto Parts, can get my parts at a discount, he charges it and I'll pay him. I might be working there soon if things don't look up but I want more experience with cars and repair, I do believe times will get tougher and I believe in order to survive, one needs to learn as many skills as he or she can. As long as it runs, I can stop, and I'm not worried about carbon monoxide, I drive with the windows open since the A/C doesn't work plus I keep them cracked in the winter.

Adding to the horror story, my cousin, he is parapelegic, his arms are usable but he needed therapy to get them going. He was in a car as a teenager, the driver was drunk but he wasn't, they had an accident and he paid the price. At the time, he also had a baby son to his girlfriend. This was like 20 years ago. Well, I found out he is laid up in the hospital, he had gangrene in one of his legs, the right I think, my dad told me. They amputated below the knee but they might have to go above it, if it ain't stopped, well, death will result. My 93 year old grandmother wants to see him in the hospital, if I can, I might take her in my Explorer since I'm off of work now, my unemployment is flowing and I'm freelancing.

I know the dangers of infection, in 2003, I cut my left hand open on the pinky side and ended up with a strep infection. I almost lost part or all of it, but they saved it. The joints work OK, but it feels awkward since I do have nerve damage where I'm numb over there except for a small spot where if you hit it, I'll go through the roof. I spent five days in hospital, I had to stay some extra time since the county doctor with Infection Control would not release me until things were under control for sure. All I did was lay in bed, listening to Art Bell and Rush, watching Civil War documentaries and the investigation of the Columbia breakup, the shuttle broke up the day before I was admitted.

Don't get me started on property taxes, we have to pay them too, we are a little behind but we are paying them, as long as you do so, you're OK.

Face it..my whole life has pretty much been a horror story. (EXCEPT for my health--which God has kept nearly perfect all of these years).

Yeah, I feel that way a lot too. Sounds like this is turning into the Bill, Jack and Chuck horror story thread. B-) B-P B-( Top it off, I'm reinstalling my anti-virus, for some reason, it blew up on me. Still, I hope things look better for us in the future.

1. Do you think most crushes are based on looks alone?

My crushes are not based on looks alone. I find quite a few women on Fox News to be attractive, but I don't stop to watch for a few minutes for the others. As I think back on a few crushes that I've had with women I knew in real life, they were very attractive, but they weren't really more physically attractive than other women who didn't attract me as much.

2. Do you think most crushes would have their butt kicked by reality? IE, someone actually meets Orlando Bloom or Halle Berry or whomever, and they’re like “well, no, I didn’t REALLY want to make out with you, just a hug and an autograph, thanks. (For example, I remember reading a story about some flight attendant who was on-the-spot attracted to Ralph Feinnes, and had sex with him in the airline bathroom right then. Was she loose, obviously. Did his movie reputation precede him in that case, probably. But still, that could be viewed as the result of a crush, and how some people would do anything.)

As I define crushes, the object is not to make out immediately. When I've had a crush, my first thought on meeting the person would be to have a good conversation. I agree that many, maybe most, crushes would falter when we found that we really didn't like the person's real personality. For public people, we'd learn that the public persona doesn't match the real person. For people we know slightly in real life but have built up in our minds, the fantasy may not match the reality. On the other hand, when we develop little crushes on people we know, the reality is already the driving force.

3. What would you do if you actually felt genuine attraction to someone who is famous, and consequently, impossible to contact?

I still have a hard time seeing how I could be the best catch for a woman who had achieved some measure of fame and wealth. As a result, I am less motivated to contact that kind of lady. I'm not sure what I'd do if I really believed that I was "the one" for someone like that.

Bill

I currently have a crush on my car Insurance Agent, I believe the feeling might be mutual

You've got a couple of options:

1) call her at work and ask her out
2) come to see her on whatever pretense you want, then slip her a note that says something along the lines of "Just in case those nice elderly ladies are really mean gossiping harpies, I'm asking you this in note form: will you have dinner with me tonight?" When she looks up, give her a big smile
3) say to hell with the old ladies and ask her out in front of God and everybody. Say it loud and with great confidence (you can vomit in the sink later, if necessary).

The one option you DO NOT HAVE, is to fail to ask her out. If she says no, or if you go out with her and things fail miserably, at least you'll know and you won't be sitting in the old folks home 60 years from now wondering what might have been.

Set a deadline for yourself. If you don't think of a better way to ask her out by, say, June 6 (D-day, heh heh), then you go with option 3. Period. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and set that deadline for you. Ask her out by June 6, then report back to this thread and let us know what happened. Remember, Fortune favors the brave!

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