Posted on 05/20/2008 9:37:30 PM PDT by Daffynition
1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.
2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.
3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.
4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.
5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.
6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.
7. An unstamped passport.
8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.
9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.
10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.
11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.
12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.
[snip]
(Excerpt) Read more at men.msn.com ...
Doh!
I take umbrellas whenever rain is in thr forcast.
I’m innocent of all the others, though.
you owe me a keyboard....
That's what I was thinking. I thought that whole metro-sexual bs died out. This guy needs to put down the eyelash curler and invest in a pair of balls.
I’ll give the dude in the pic a break.
I’m seeing a “colorized” black and white film where the colorizer got lazy and picked the same palet for the suit as the couch.
Curling is great.. if I lived someplace that had a dedicated building, I might dream of developing enough skill to hit the Olympics.
Alas, the local club here plays on Arena Ice, which pretty much makes sure, my skill level will never get to that level no matter how much I would try.
No thanks on #4. Anyone that is shunning anything as ‘too childish’ is missing out on life.
#5. There is nothing at all wrong with having the right tool around for the job. That said, I find the feed lips of an AK47 magazine work really well for opening beers
HEAR HEAR!!!!!!
Like a Honda Element? I love mine, it’s like a cell at Gitmo - square, holds stuff, and I can easily wash it out afterwards.
19. A list of 18 things a grown man should never have.
Of course, but remember, it is a "field kit", NOT a fanny pack!!!!! Big difference!
Oh, to be at least 40 again. “(
...or the door of a '69 Goat
This guy was on the right track until...
11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.
Sorry, real men don't care what the beer costs. The price of beer is only a concern for insecure girly-men with small dinkies. "
EAHEAHEAH!!! (loud Buehla the buzzer sound)
A real man uses a smoker/cooker with genuine lump oak charcoal. (never briquettes)
Should also add “Never fight an old man, he will just kill you.” I can attest to that.
Yeah, my ‘man purse’ is my tank-bag from my KTM 950 Adventure. (dirt road cruiser that will do 0 to 130 faster than you can pass gas)
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