18 Things A Grown Man Should Never Have

MSN ^ | May 20, 2008 | Steve Calechman

[CholeraJoe]

Does my Bronze in Cox and Pairs from Munich mean I’m a wimp?

[Hatteras]

Sorry, gas is not an option. What the hell has time got to do with it, anyway?! Besides, if it takes 45 minutes for your coals then you're doing it wrong. It should take no more than 2 beers, tops.

Your problem is quite clear. It's your whole attitude. The meal itself is just a part of the entire experience. You don't just turn on fire and slap some meat on in order to satisfy your hunger as soon as possible. That's just plain wrong. It's a primal thing, dude. You celebrate life and the life that animal gave in order to sustain yours. Every meal, every grilling adventure, every cook-out is a celebration of what God has given us. Can't explain it except to say it can't be taught. You have to feel it. You have to feel it and embrace it.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... Whatever you do, "primal" doesn't mean grilling naked. I wouldn't recommend that.

[Hatteras]

"Scars are tattoos with better stories. "

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.

[Hatteras]

"You sayin’ we ain’t real men?"

If that shoe fits, you'll wear it whether I say anything or not.

[andy58-in-nh]

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... Whatever you do, "primal" doesn't mean grilling naked. I wouldn't recommend that.

Once burned, twice shy...

[Joe 6-pack]

"Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever."

My (long deceased) great uncle had been a cavalryman in the Tsarist Army. He emigrated to the U.S. right about 1900, and proceeded to enlist in the US Army where he participated in Pershing's punitive raids into Mexico. Like your stereotypical European 19th century cav troop, he had a deep "dueling" scar over his right cheekbone and across his right cheek (I put "dueling" in quotes because I'm not really sure how he sustained it...only that it had been something sharp, and it had obviously cut deep).

The best I can muster is a similarly located scar for which I received a few stitches at age 3, after riding a wooden rocking chair down a flight of concrete steps...

[WOBBLY BOB]

A sign of being a grown-up is a car that starts every time.

[Carpe Cerevisi]

Are real men permitted to exfoliate?

[Straight Vermonter]

Crocs should never be worn by a man at any time.

[CholeraJoe]

Sure. As long as they use this:

[CholeraJoe]

Frying bacon without a shirt isn’t recommended either.

[38special]

An import in the driveway.

[21twelve]

“A sign of being a grown-up is a car that starts every time.”

I love it. On numerous levels it is right on.

[Daffynition]

[Straight Vermonter]

Yeech.

[TC Rider]

Hey, I have a “man purse,” ie. a fanny pack. But I use it to carry my 9mm (have a CCW permit). Does that count?

A fanny pack screams 'gun!' to those in the know.

[VanDeKoik]

“What other things should grown men be avoiding?”

1) Subscription to a newspaper.

2) Not wearing a tie at least once a week.

3) Not having a decent sound system.

4) Buying GQ, Details, Esquire or any male equivalent to women’s fashion magazines.

5) Bumper stickers for a presidential candidate on a car that you plan on having in 4 years.

6) Women under 26, unless you are under 26.

7) The voices in your head that tell you not to try a new sport because it ain’t Football or Baseball.

8) Debt of any sort.

9) Any flirtation with socialism.

10) Obama.

[Carpe Cerevisi]

“What other things should grown men be avoiding?

1) Subscription to a newspaper.”

What can I say?...the wife loves the coupons.

[Jeff Chandler]

[Lx]

3. The following DVD/Videos: The Deer Hunter, The Godfather 1 & 2 (#3 does not count), High Plains Drifter, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, Animal House, Young Frankenstein.

How could you forget Goodfellas and Tombstone????