Your problem is quite clear. It's your whole attitude. The meal itself is just a part of the entire experience. You don't just turn on fire and slap some meat on in order to satisfy your hunger as soon as possible. That's just plain wrong. It's a primal thing, dude. You celebrate life and the life that animal gave in order to sustain yours. Every meal, every grilling adventure, every cook-out is a celebration of what God has given us. Can't explain it except to say it can't be taught. You have to feel it. You have to feel it and embrace it.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... Whatever you do, "primal" doesn't mean grilling naked. I wouldn't recommend that.
Once burned, twice shy...
Frying bacon without a shirt isn’t recommended either.