Posted on 05/20/2008 8:40:41 PM PDT by Daffynition
BRITISH men, having given over our houses to our wives, girlfriends and womenfolk, are defined by our one last place to survive . . . the man drawer.
I think it’s a little sexist to say women run the home.
It’s not that they take it over, it’s just that men don’t require very much. We require one drawer – this is a man drawer.
The man drawer is for general domestic maintenance and things we feel we may need in the future.
Lightbulbs. Should a bulb within the home blow, the man will search his man drawer.
Other things that may go in include batteries.
Batteries of undetermined life will be littered throughout. I don’t know how old batteries get there but they find their way in nonetheless.
We will also have instructions. They immediately go into the man drawer despite the fact we may no longer have the appliance to which they relate.
The problem with instructions in the man drawer is that they end up wedging the man drawer shut.
Sometimes you can’t open your man drawer – so you have this drawer responsible for maintenance and you can’t even get in it.
And often the tool you need to open your man drawer is in the drawer – even more frustrating as you tug at it.
Other things include foreign currency. Men feel that having earned money, we cannot throw it away.
So we hold on to it. The problem with foreign coins is you pretty much know you’ll never need access to them again.
I don’t know whether it influences your decision as to where to holiday – “I think we should go back to Spain because I have pesetas and I could buy you a newspaper in the airport on the way home.”
But now the euro has come so all the foreign currency we have is useless.
But still we hold on to it in case certain countries decide to relinquish the euro and we will go: “Fabulous. We should immediately go to Corfu and buy milk.”
The next thing we have is a variety of keys, including ones from places where we used to live. We don’t even know what they open any more.
It could be the key to an old shed or a locker but something about the key is just too mysterious and magical to throw away.
Alongside those keys are radiator keys. These are used to bleed radiators – a job only men can do because if you get it wrong you will be scalded in the face so we won’t let women do that.
Another huge section is Allen keys. Allen Key is a man, I believe, of Swedish origin – someone who developed the Allen key.
Outside of radiator keys, keys to your old home and Allen keys would be long keys used to secure the tops and bottoms of drawers.
I don’t even know what they are called but we have them in the man drawer alongside string.
String is there for suicide. Every man needs to know he can end it at any given time.
Takeaway menus are very important. Should we need takeaway food, the man has it covered.
I know in my house the kitchen is my wife’s but when we need to order cuisine in I will fetch menus from my man drawer.
These consist of an Indian menu and a Chinese menu whereupon, despite the huge choice, we always order exactly the same thing.
Every time we go through the process of taking out the menu and reading it only to confirm we want the same thing we have ordered throughout our eight-year relationship.
One last man drawer essential.
We hold on to mobile phones and chargers – man drawers are like mini mobile phone museums.
Many even have mobiles from the Eighties.
Does anyone else recoil impulsivley at the use of the “man” prefix to describe something as being something that belongs to a man? Man-drawer? Man-purse?
Man-this, man-that, Please! Cowboy up for Gods sake! If you have to prefix the description of something with “man-” then one of two things is wrong. The object is decidedly non-masculine, OR you are so insecure in your own masculinity that you have to bolster it with special words.
If you want to carry a purse then carry a PURSE for John Brownings sake. And if someone laughs at you kick em in the man-sack.
Use the correct term, don’t prefix the incorrect term.
It’s a “satchel” or “laptop bag”, not a “man-purse”.
It’s a “kilt”, not a “man-skirt”.
It’s “cologne”, not “man-perfume”.
Not Swedish.
I’m guilty of putting this on the banglist track back at #6.
you gotta see this crap ping.
I saw a Stratocaster at Guitar Center in NYC, that they were trying to sell for $75,000.
It must have been one of the very first run of Stratocasters that Fender put out.
You can fit some uh, nice stuff inside a satchel.
;)
This sounds like the type of a guy that doesn’t know the difference between a hammer and screwdriver. I bet he has a man purse.
Is that an Enfield or a Webley? I can’t tell.
One of these:
http://www.rrarms.com/cat_images/G1191109.JPG
and one of these (in black):
http://www.rrarms.com/cat_images/GRI1216X.JPG
It’s a fair-sized drawer.....
And the reason that there are so many pistols in a typical American man drawer is because the rifles are stored in the man cave...
LOL ...I suspect you won’t be taking a mancation. ;)
Nice!!!
Looks like “Trouble” and “More Trouble.” ;-D
Why not carry a ruck sack? You can fit more in it and some Govt Issue include straps to attach it to a parachute.
Ping to #77.
What’s in your drawer?
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