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What’s in your man drawer?
The Sun ^ | 20 May 2008 | MICHAEL McINTYRE

Posted on 05/20/2008 8:40:41 PM PDT by Daffynition

BRITISH men, having given over our houses to our wives, girlfriends and womenfolk, are defined by our one last place to survive . . . the man drawer.

I think it’s a little sexist to say women run the home.

It’s not that they take it over, it’s just that men don’t require very much. We require one drawer – this is a man drawer.

The man drawer is for general domestic maintenance and things we feel we may need in the future.

Lightbulbs. Should a bulb within the home blow, the man will search his man drawer.

Other things that may go in include batteries.

Batteries of undetermined life will be littered throughout. I don’t know how old batteries get there but they find their way in nonetheless.

We will also have instructions. They immediately go into the man drawer despite the fact we may no longer have the appliance to which they relate.

The problem with instructions in the man drawer is that they end up wedging the man drawer shut.

Sometimes you can’t open your man drawer – so you have this drawer responsible for maintenance and you can’t even get in it.

And often the tool you need to open your man drawer is in the drawer – even more frustrating as you tug at it.

Other things include foreign currency. Men feel that having earned money, we cannot throw it away.

So we hold on to it. The problem with foreign coins is you pretty much know you’ll never need access to them again.

I don’t know whether it influences your decision as to where to holiday – “I think we should go back to Spain because I have pesetas and I could buy you a newspaper in the airport on the way home.”

But now the euro has come so all the foreign currency we have is useless.

But still we hold on to it in case certain countries decide to relinquish the euro and we will go: “Fabulous. We should immediately go to Corfu and buy milk.”

The next thing we have is a variety of keys, including ones from places where we used to live. We don’t even know what they open any more.

It could be the key to an old shed or a locker but something about the key is just too mysterious and magical to throw away.

Alongside those keys are radiator keys. These are used to bleed radiators – a job only men can do because if you get it wrong you will be scalded in the face so we won’t let women do that.

Another huge section is Allen keys. Allen Key is a man, I believe, of Swedish origin – someone who developed the Allen key.

Outside of radiator keys, keys to your old home and Allen keys would be long keys used to secure the tops and bottoms of drawers.

I don’t even know what they are called but we have them in the man drawer alongside string.

String is there for suicide. Every man needs to know he can end it at any given time.

Takeaway menus are very important. Should we need takeaway food, the man has it covered.

I know in my house the kitchen is my wife’s but when we need to order cuisine in I will fetch menus from my man drawer.

These consist of an Indian menu and a Chinese menu whereupon, despite the huge choice, we always order exactly the same thing.

Every time we go through the process of taking out the menu and reading it only to confirm we want the same thing we have ordered throughout our eight-year relationship.

One last man drawer essential.

We hold on to mobile phones and chargers – man drawers are like mini mobile phone museums.

Many even have mobiles from the Eighties.


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: banglist; drawer; man; mandrawer
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To: Daffynition

Does anyone else recoil impulsivley at the use of the “man” prefix to describe something as being something that belongs to a man? Man-drawer? Man-purse?

Man-this, man-that, Please! Cowboy up for Gods sake! If you have to prefix the description of something with “man-” then one of two things is wrong. The object is decidedly non-masculine, OR you are so insecure in your own masculinity that you have to bolster it with special words.

If you want to carry a purse then carry a PURSE for John Brownings sake. And if someone laughs at you kick em in the man-sack.


61 posted on 05/21/2008 8:03:37 AM PDT by heckler (wiskey for my men, beer for my horses, rifles for sister sarah)
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To: Mr. Mojo
Is this perhaps the first time the "banglist" keyword was added to a thread precisely because there was a stunning absence of any mention of firearms in the article?
62 posted on 05/21/2008 8:19:58 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (The average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. - Ratatouille)
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To: heckler

Use the correct term, don’t prefix the incorrect term.

It’s a “satchel” or “laptop bag”, not a “man-purse”.
It’s a “kilt”, not a “man-skirt”.
It’s “cologne”, not “man-perfume”.


63 posted on 05/21/2008 8:22:42 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (The average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. - Ratatouille)
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To: ctdonath2
lol....good point. And coincidentally enough, I was the one who added it.
64 posted on 05/21/2008 8:23:38 AM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: wastedyears

65 posted on 05/21/2008 8:26:17 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (The average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. - Ratatouille)
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To: Daffynition
Allen Key is a man, I believe, of Swedish origin..

Not Swedish.

66 posted on 05/21/2008 8:40:25 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.)
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To: ctdonath2; Mr. Mojo

I’m guilty of putting this on the banglist track back at #6.


67 posted on 05/21/2008 8:51:02 AM PDT by Travis McGee (--- www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com ---)
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To: envisio

you gotta see this crap ping.


68 posted on 05/21/2008 8:58:29 AM PDT by absolootezer0 ( Detroit: we're so bad, even our mayor is a criminal)
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To: dayglored

I saw a Stratocaster at Guitar Center in NYC, that they were trying to sell for $75,000.

It must have been one of the very first run of Stratocasters that Fender put out.


69 posted on 05/21/2008 9:06:38 AM PDT by wastedyears (Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. - Optimus Prime)
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To: ctdonath2

You can fit some uh, nice stuff inside a satchel.

;)


70 posted on 05/21/2008 9:08:09 AM PDT by wastedyears (Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. - Optimus Prime)
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To: Daffynition

This sounds like the type of a guy that doesn’t know the difference between a hammer and screwdriver. I bet he has a man purse.


71 posted on 05/21/2008 9:11:53 AM PDT by caver (Yes, I did crawl out of a hole in the ground.)
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To: Travis McGee

Is that an Enfield or a Webley? I can’t tell.


72 posted on 05/21/2008 9:28:18 AM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: Daffynition

One of these:

http://www.rrarms.com/cat_images/G1191109.JPG

and one of these (in black):

http://www.rrarms.com/cat_images/GRI1216X.JPG

It’s a fair-sized drawer.....


73 posted on 05/21/2008 9:34:34 AM PDT by Salo
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To: Travis McGee

And the reason that there are so many pistols in a typical American man drawer is because the rifles are stored in the man cave...


74 posted on 05/21/2008 9:40:21 AM PDT by Old Teufel Hunden
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To: heckler

LOL ...I suspect you won’t be taking a mancation. ;)


75 posted on 05/21/2008 11:05:34 AM PDT by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Salo

Nice!!!


76 posted on 05/21/2008 11:07:51 AM PDT by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Daffynition
Photobucket
77 posted on 05/21/2008 3:48:06 PM PDT by Snurple
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To: Snurple

Looks like “Trouble” and “More Trouble.” ;-D


78 posted on 05/21/2008 4:06:57 PM PDT by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: heckler

Why not carry a ruck sack? You can fit more in it and some Govt Issue include straps to attach it to a parachute.


79 posted on 05/21/2008 5:17:50 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: sporkweasel

Ping to #77.

What’s in your drawer?


80 posted on 05/21/2008 5:19:06 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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