Posted on 04/18/2008 8:47:15 AM PDT by najida
Rules that Girls Wish Guys Knew
1. Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning
2. Shave every day. One day's growth of facial hair is worse than a girl not shaving her legs for a week.
3. We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think.
4. Learn to clean up the toilet. If peeing standing up is so difficult and you are bound to miss, then may we suggest that you learn to use a toilet brush and sponge to clean up after yourself.
5. We really don't find it attractive when you stand there stratching yourself in the morning, afternoon or night- please do it in private.
6. Don't do it, if you're not going to follow-thru. A woman would rather not have sex at all, than to have it and miss the climax by a mile because you weren't up for the challenge.
7. Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
8. Ask for directions
9. If you said you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, then do it. Don't expect us to wait around.
10. Professional Wrestling and Soap Opera's are the same story lines, just different costumes. So don't make fun of us for being hooked on Y&R when you are hooked on RAW.
11. "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say- Unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes Dear"- it's condescending.
12. Get rid of your holey underwear.
13. If you can ogle so can we!
14. One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room.
15. Couch Potato is not a sport, so don't try to be an All-star at it!
16. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"
17. If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during Gray's Anatomy.
18. If you say you are going to do something, then just do it. Don't sit around thinking of creative excuses why you couldn't get to it.
19. We are not your mothers, so don't expect us to clean up after you like one.
20. Wendy's is not considered a romantic dinner for two.
21. We have other friends of the male gender, so leave your jealousy at the door!
22. If you concede to let us decorate the house without any input from you, then don't complain when everything is in frilly flowers, and pink motif.
23. When wearing a dress shirt, wear an undershirt underneath. Nothing worse than seeing a man's hairy chest and nipples through his shirt. (PINK PINK PINK)
24. Hey, we CAN be friends with our ex's- so deal with it!
25. We understand that you have to put on a manly act in front of your friends, but in the privacy of your own home, it's okay if you just want to cuddle.
The number one thing men hate about women is that they change.
The number one thing women hate about men is that they DON’T change.
I wanna see the guy one.
In my earlier day's I read a book from RLH - Time Enough For Love.....If I'm not mistaken, that's one of Lazarus' tenets....
I discussed this with my wife. She agrees. But she couldn’t explain why, other than “time to prepare”. Isn’t it better to go out on short notice than not to go out at all???
My guess is that if you wait until Friday to ask her out, her perception is that she wasn't your first choice.
Also, if she accepts your offer on Friday, she's admitting that nobody had asked her out yet. She would rather lie to you, and stay home alone to make you think that she's already got a date for Saturday, than to let you think that she's desperate.
Not that that I would presume to understand women.
#2 is a generational thing, I think.
Dear Tide,
I’m writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
You just had to go there, why...? Are you saying it wasn’t worth the wait...?
I thought so.
That bottle of fabric softener may claim that the scent is “Spring Rain”, but in reality it’s “He’s Married!”
>>Yeah, she’s cute. And yes, we’re gonna look, so get over it.<<
I think you missed the point of the post.
If he looks at Gretchen, He shouldn’t have a problem with my looking at “The Man”
I don’t care if he looks, in fact if any of you look, but I don’t need grief about my James Marsden obsession either.
Well, that’s what I thought, LOL.
And, the female is up to something, too - just maybe not sex.
Schoolyard bully: You gonna let your sister fight your battles for you?
Me: Heck, yeah! She can kick your butt all around the playground and back again!
Like N. just said,
We like hot bods on guys too...
don’t get your knickers in a twist.
The ask out on Friday for Saturday thing-— both your mates are right. It gives her time to prepare and is a value issue.
If you really want to go to a game, concert etc, you don’t want to wait until the day before to buy the tickets. The more you value that event, the greater the effort to make sure you have your seat for the game well in advance.
If you ask a woman out on Friday for Saturday it implies that she was possibly choice #4 after asking other girls on Monday, Tuesday etc. and she wasn’t that important that, eh...she was the last thing on your mind.
The only exception is in a pretty well established relationship and the guy never knows from one day to the next when he’ll be off for sure. So he can call on Friday and say “Hey! I’m off Saturday”. But otherwise, no.
Irony it is!
1. Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning
I thought we were supposed to be spontaneous?
COMPROMISE: I go drinking with my buddies on Saturday night, and we go out together on Sunday.
2. Shave every day. One day's growth of facial hair is worse than a girl not shaving her legs for a week.
COMPROMISE: We each get a 3 day grace period. I can deal with a little texture on your legs if you can deal with a little stubble on my face.
3. We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think.
COMPROMISE: I will always tell the truth, just please don't ask questions that make it difficult. E.g. "Do I look good in this dress?", "Don't you think my friend is gorgeous?," or "Did you just eat those brownies I threw in the garbage yesterday?"
...5. We really don't find it attractive when you stand there scratching yourself in the morning, afternoon or night- please do it in private.
How can we ever have a conversation or spend time together if I have to go into another room every 5 minutes?
COMPROMISE: We both get to scratch with impunity.
...7. Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
COMPROMISE: Agreed, if you apply the same rule to our relationship.
8. Ask for directions
NO! Humiliating!
COMPROMISE: You let me keep driving for another 30 min., and we can talk about whatever you want.
...10. Professional Wrestling and Soap Opera's are the same story lines, just different costumes. So don't make fun of us for being hooked on Y&R when you are hooked on RAW.
COMPROMISE: Let's both find something more entertaining and less mind-numbing than Y&R and RAW.
11. "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say- Unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes Dear"- it's condescending.
COMPROMISE: Agreed, as long as you promise not cut me off in the middle of a rant and "subtly" try to change the subject. Just as insulting. If I'm beating a dead horse, just say, "You are right, but can we talk about something else?"
12. Get rid of your holey underwear.
NO COMPROMISE! I would never ask you to abandon a dear and intimate friend as a condition of our relationship, so please don't ask me to do the same!
13. If you can ogle so can we!
COMPROMISE: Ogle to your heart's content. Just don't make continuous comments about how "hot" or "dreamy" a guy is, in an effort to provoke a jealous response from me.
14. One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room.
COMPROMISE: Let me enjoy my extravagant gadgets in peace, and I will let you enjoy your extravagant bath products in peace. Yes, I could probably stay entertained without 5 remotes, but you could probably stay clean without 5 varieties of exfoliant, too. We both deserve SOME luxuries. :)
...16. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"
COMPROMISE: Ok, as long as it's applied mutually. But we both get one "I'm too proud to concede even though I'm obviously wrong" card a month.
19. We are not your mothers, so don't expect us to clean up after you like one.
COMPROMISE: I'll never complain about the mess if you don't. I can live with a little dirt or dusty window blinds if you can.
20. Wendy's is not considered a romantic dinner for two.
COMPROMISE: It is if I upsize the order and get you a chocolate milkshake to go with it. Or a six pack (the beverage kind...sorry).
22. If you concede to let us decorate the house without any input from you, then don't complain when everything is in frilly flowers, and pink motif.
We grant those concessions with the understanding that you will make a good faith effort to choose REASONABLE designs :)
COMPROMISE: I get one room where I can paint the walls different colors, put up neon signs, and maintain a continuous odor of bacon and tabasco sauce. I also get to keep my reading material in the bathroom. Everything else is yours to decorate.
24. Hey, we CAN be friends with our ex's- so deal with it!
COMPROMISE: No problem, as long as the rule applies to both of us.
No knicker twistage here.
MY point was, while we guys may enjoy eye-candy, that’s not what we truly desire as a partner. We’re gonna look, we seem to be hardwired that way. (I should not have added “get over it”; that changed the tone of what I was trying to convey.)
As I said earlier, ogle all you want. If it makes you horny, good. I want you to be horny.
But don’t sit there reading Architectural Digest and sighing over brazilian-dollar homes full of fabulous furnishings that I’ll never be able to give you. That f’ing hurts.
“But don’t sit there reading Architectural Digest and sighing over brazilian-dollar homes full of fabulous furnishings that I’ll never be able to give you. That f’ing hurts.”
lol
LOL!
I can see that.
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