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One Million Signatures and Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies
Cinematical ^ | Apr 6, 2008 | Scott Weinberg

Posted on 04/15/2008 4:05:54 PM PDT by arderkrag

Seems like Dr. Uwe Boll has been navigating the globe for about seven months with his Postal / Seed double feature tucked under his arm. He pops up at various festivals and conventions, shows off his new masterworks, and then hops a plane to another continent. And he does lots of interviews, most of which are pretty damn amusing. The latest Q&A with the king of krapola appears on FEARnet, and it's there you'll find some solid questions about animal abuse, Nazi humor, and all those crazy German tax shelters.

But the best part of the interview comes near the end. It goes a little lot something like this:

"FEARnet: Are you aware that there is a petition online, signed by 18,000 people, requesting that you stop making movies?

Boll: Yeah, I know that. 18,000 is not enough to convince me.

FN: How many would it take?

Boll: One million. Now we have a new goal."

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Uwe Boll has thrown down the gauntlet. If we can get another 980,000 signatures on THIS PETITION, then we will have done our part for the advancement of global cinematic culture. No more BloodRaynes or Houses of the Dead or Dungeon Sieges. If this isn't a worthy cause, I really don't know what is. Maybe if we get two million signatures we can get the guy's retirement to include the "producer" title. Don't wait to sign the thing: Boll already has Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Zombie Massacre and BloodRayne 3 in production.

Postal hits limited release in late May, and (according to Dread Central) Vivendi Home Entertainment will unleash the Seed DVD in September.


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Hobbies; Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: boll; games; movies; uwe
Here's the petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

If you care anything about entertainment, please sign soon.
1 posted on 04/15/2008 4:05:55 PM PDT by arderkrag
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To: arderkrag
Maybe if everone stopped renting his schlock, he'd have to find another line of work.


2 posted on 04/15/2008 4:17:27 PM PDT by Viking2002 (I hope the AG pounds the Mann Act up Spitzer's ass with a sharp stick.)
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To: arderkrag

I think almost 200,000 people have signed it already... my friends who are film majors are very excited about this petition.


3 posted on 04/15/2008 4:33:46 PM PDT by Hyzenthlay (I aim to misbehave.)
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To: arderkrag

ping


4 posted on 04/15/2008 4:39:20 PM PDT by ocr1
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To: arderkrag

I’d still take “In The Name of The BloodRayne Zombie King’s Dungeon III” over the antiwar, anti-American garbage the film industry dumps on us. At least Uwe Boll isn’t telling me my country sucks and the military is evil.


5 posted on 04/15/2008 4:40:46 PM PDT by lazypadawan
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To: Hyzenthlay

>>>I think almost 200,000 people have signed it already... my friends who are film majors are very excited about this petition.

However, if this Uwe Boll person is a typical Hollywood liberal, his word is worth nothing, and not only will he not quit, he’ll probably make a movie about the whole petition thing, and win an Oscar for it.


6 posted on 04/15/2008 4:42:29 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Obama: Karl Marx's second choice, right after Hillary.)
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To: arderkrag

lol @ German tax laws ; )


7 posted on 04/15/2008 5:00:07 PM PDT by happinesswithoutpeace (You are receiving this broadcast as a dream)
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To: arderkrag
He's making movies now??
8 posted on 04/15/2008 5:12:06 PM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Keith in Iowa

Hey, it worked for Ahnold! Only, it wasn’t quite a ‘please quit’ petition... it was more of a ‘run this state and you’ll be too busy for movies’ kind of deal =P

Somehow I doubt Uwe Boll would actually quit, but on the other hand it’s likely to drastically decrease the number of movie studios who would hire him... 1 million people is about $10 million in movie ticket sales, give or take, and that’s a lot of market power, especially given the fact that his movies tend to be geared towards a narrow and notoriously hard-to-reach audience (young male video game fans, who logically like to stay home and play video games instead of going to the movies).

In any case, I highly doubt the Academy members would be able to tolerate sitting through anything he makes, much less actually voting on it for an award (unless a new category like ‘most fan-infuriating video game adaptation’ or ‘most scantily clad female vampires’ emerges).


9 posted on 04/15/2008 9:15:56 PM PDT by Hyzenthlay (I aim to misbehave.)
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To: arderkrag

Reckon we could start a similar petition for Michael Moore?


10 posted on 04/16/2008 5:39:20 AM PDT by 3catsanadog (Vote for the person at the primaries; vote for the party at the election.)
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To: arderkrag
You people have it all wrong! Uwe WANTS to make rotten movies! If his movies lose money, then, with a weird loophole in German tax law, he gets to deduct the entire cost of what the movie would have made if it were any good.

If memeory serves, the was an article in Time magazine a few months ago explaining his little scam.

11 posted on 04/16/2008 11:35:52 AM PDT by jonascord (Hurray! for the Bonny Blue Flag that bears the Single Star!)
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To: arderkrag

I’d sign a petition to prevent any future films based on video games. C’mon, a movie based on Postal?


12 posted on 04/16/2008 11:37:38 AM PDT by MediaMole
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