Maybe he's a pirate.
Aren't we all, just a little.
Seriously, what causes a guy to simply go nuts like this? Assuming he will ever again be able to take a hard look at reality, how does he face his wife and kid?
Great Caesar's Ghost! I know I have parts of my soul I want to keep as deepest secrets, and hope the boys at the Pearly Gates are especially forgiving the day I ask for entry. I guarandarntee I never wish to parade them about for even strangers to have a gape. How could I even be in the same room with my wife and kids after the parade?
"Demon rum"...?
Maybe we need a new slogan:
"Got a little Pastor in you..."
And the guy's name?
Rev. Craig S. Rhodenizer, 46
Make that Craig S. Womanizer?
Cheers!