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To: snugs
I agree.....but I hesitate to saddle anyone else with the mistakes of my past. I don't have insurmountable debt... but to me it's large because it's more than I've ever had to deal with alone. So...in the meantime and for the next 3 years, I don't make any major purchases, keep entertainment to a minimum (not a problem there since I work all the time) and I should have everything paid off.

Most of my debt came from the circumstances after my ex's heart attack (medical bills) and his refusal to share the responsibility.......and my school loans.

Financial problems are a huge hindrance in relationship.... and agree with Bill in that I would hesitate to get involved with anyone else who has alot of debt.....especially after having lived with the fallout from someone's irresponsibility, myself.

187 posted on 03/30/2008 8:31:48 AM PDT by LaineyDee (Don't mess with Texas wimmen!)
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To: LaineyDee
I understand exactly where you are coming from and yes it is not fair to saddle someone else with your debt and that is not something I would suggest.

What I was trying to say was that if someone had been or was in debt the way they coped with it and reasons for it are more important than the debt however if the debt is still outstanding and is prior to the relationship starting the it should be your responsibility to sort it out and even draw up an agreement with a new partner to that effect if it is something that will take a few years to pay off.

I certainly would not get involved with someone because of it though I might think twice about making a major commitment of either marriage or living with someone whilst the debt was outstanding if I would be able to pay if off within a reasonable period say a few months to a year. Over that as I said above I would think about possibly drawing up a legal document so that my new partner was not legally responsible for it should the relationship not work out and I would continue to pay it off myself unless my new partner was very well off and insisted on paying it off (basically if he had the means that really he did not notice the extra cash each month and therefore to him it was not a big deal). Even in this case I would ensure that I therefore contributed in other ways to home or put the money away if I could for a holiday or surprise treat etc.

189 posted on 03/30/2008 10:35:06 AM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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