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***The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread*** March 28-30 - Platonic Friends and Marrying Ugly
March 28, 2008 | WFTR

Posted on 03/28/2008 3:56:43 PM PDT by WFTR

Welcome to the Weekend Singles' Thread

The last thread I hosted was called "The Bucket List" and was based loosely on a movie that I'd never seen. I'm repeating the idea of threads about movies I've never seen again this week. In my defense, this one wasn't my idea. Someone else suggested a discussion of platonic friendships between men and women and the idea from the "Harry met Sally" movie that those friendships can't exist. I'm going to add an idea from a news story this week in part because the story seemed amusing and in part because I wonder whether there is a connection.

From what I've heard, the idea behind the movie When Harry Met Sally is that men, or at least Bill Crystal's character, believe that they can never have a truly platonic relationship with a woman because they'll eventually want to have sex with that woman. I don't remember whether this idea applies only to situations where the man feels a strong physical attraction to a woman or whether any man will eventually want to have sex with any woman. Apparently, "Harry" claims that this desire will eventually doom the friendship because the man won't be able to endure the stress of the unfulfilled desire.

The second part of the topic is a short article that was published this week claiming that the happiest marriages are those where the woman is more physically attractive than the man. The whole article is only a few sentences and can be found at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340869,00.html. Important points in the article include the fact that only 82 couples were included in the study and that they had been married only six months. The study that led to the article requires a subscription to read, so I don't know whether the details of the study strengthen the idea.

Combining these topics leads to several points of discussion.

First, do you agree with the idea that men and women cannot form platonic friendships? Are those friendships destined to be disrupted by sexual desire on one side or the other? If so, does that desire generally come from the man? If those friendships are possible, what are the factors that lead to those friendships and what are the factors that make them impossible? Is appearance a big part of the equation?

Secondly, do you agree with the idea that marriages will generally be better if the woman is more attractive than the man? Obviously, if you're a guy, you're going to look at any couple and find the woman more attractive, but in a more objective sense, will the relationship be stronger if the woman is more attractive? If you're a gal, you're likely to see things just the opposite, but the same question applies.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: attractiveness; dating; friendships; marrying; singles
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To: DaveLoneRanger
I actually found the list of the thirty things that I hated about the movie. Again, I only saw the first movie in the trilogy. Afterwards, I never bothered. I've seen bits and pieces of the other two, but I haven't cared enough to watch them in their entirety.

More than anything else, I was angered at the switch in how Gandalf and Aragorn looked at Moria versus the Redhorn Pass. In the book, Gandalf wanted to go through Moria because he believed that the path through Moria was best for the fellowship. If he was aware of any threat to himself, he didn't talk about the threat and didn't let the threat change what he wanted to do. Aragorn argued against Moria because he saw a threat to Gandalf and was afraid of losing Gandalf. Part of his motivation was fear of losing a friend, and part was fear of what Gandalf's loss would mean for the fellowship. In the movie, these attitudes were reversed. In the movie, Gandalf saw the threat to himself in Moria and argued for the mountain pass in order to save his own life. Aragorn also saw a threat to Gandalf in Moria but argued against the mountain pass because he didn't care.

The difference is in the character shown by the characters. In the book, each is concerned first for the well-being of the fellowship and in Aragorn's case, for the well-being of a friend. In the movie, each is concerned for his own safety. The positions they took in the book portrays them as much more noble men. The positions in the movie might make them more realistic to modern society, but I like noble characters in a fantasy book. Above all else, I can't forgive Peter Jackson for this change.

221 posted on 03/30/2008 6:30:01 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: WFTR

Well, for starters, he’s got to at least comb his hair in the morning - minimum! lol ;~)


222 posted on 03/30/2008 6:56:51 PM PDT by My hearts in London - Everett (I'd rather be single than wish I was.)
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Comment #223 Removed by Moderator

To: WFTR
"I would think that the first rule of salmon fishing in Alaska would be be learning not to catch a bear."

No, I think the first rule of salmon fishing is: Don't waste time on catch and release. Salmon in Alaskan waters are there to die. Catch. Eat. Enjoy."

224 posted on 03/30/2008 7:34:29 PM PDT by redhead (Come ON, global warming!!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The idea that the speed of light is moving in one direction or another over time would have some big impacts. I could see slight variations that move around some mean. Permanent changes in one direction or another would be strange.


225 posted on 03/30/2008 8:03:39 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: WFTR
1. In post # 194, My hearts in London - Everett tells a joke about making a phone call to God. If you could pick up a phone and ask God one question and receive an answer as clearly as talking on a phone, what would you ask?

When are you coming to get us? (whinigh like a kid at summer camp)

2. In post # 164, Dave mentions that Pluto is no longer considered a planet. Needless to say, anyone who's gone to school in the United States for the past hundred or so years is going to have to unlearn the notion that Pluto is a planet. What other astronomy "facts" do you think we'll have to unlearn in the next twenty years?

That life on Earth originated on Earth ;)

3. In post # 111, Rca2000 mentions that many women are attracted to Jack Black. To the women in particular, is Jack Black an example of what us guys should aspire to be?

I think most women feel sorry for Jack Black, not attracted to him.

226 posted on 03/30/2008 8:17:04 PM PDT by Shadowstrike (Be polite, Be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
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To: Shadowstrike

Where do you think life on Earth originated?


227 posted on 03/30/2008 8:22:48 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: Shadowstrike
Here for a short time. Gotta get up early tomorrow. Have a meeting to get a patent search for my idea started. About the "jack Black" thing--go to the Internet Movie Data base, and see for yourselves. For every post about how much of a slob he is--there are at least 3 responses defending him. Some of them talk about his sexy eyes, sexy voice, etc--and how talented he is. I was threatened by one man with a fight over thinking JB was a slob. ON the OTHER hand--the responses for a truly beautiful person like ELisabeth Hasslllback are overwhelmingly negative and hurtful--saying she is retarded, ugly, and even one suggesting her husband ought to beat her up. I suspect is is ALL due to her unwavering conservative stance. There are a lOT of sick, twisted people out there. And I agree--men are less attractive then women. I hear women saying how "good looking" some man is--and I think" huh"? But then--I guess that is normal, since I am a MAN, after all. I tend to think of myself as a generally unattractive man. I guess it is from having so many people use me and make fun of me cruelly over the years--if it happens often enough--a person begins to believe that there MUST be something undesirable about them.

My friend Laurie has told me MANY times, that I am NOT unattractive, or even remotely so. Perhaps this IS just to "make me feel better" about myself. Either way--I do appreciate the friendship she is offering to me, and I CAN handle it being platonic from now, until the end of time, or if she somehow desires to "break off" our friendship-and I do NOT expect that will happen in the near future--if ever.

I honestly do NOT have an "overwhelming" desire "eating me up" inside" , as some have stated, to have any inappropriate things happen. I WOULD be a liar, if I said I have NEVER thought of "if only she were available"..or such, but it is NOT some "gnawing desire" I have to fight back.

I suspect that sounds very unusual, but I AM a very different type of guy. Whereas most men DO see some woman and immediately think of only sexual desires--those are a SMALL priority to me--to come ONLY after a proper, Godly sanctioned relationship, with a single, Christian woman. I value a nice, Christian-based friendship, where 2 people can be there for each other and have an honest friendship, that is totally pure and platonic, at least 1000 TIMES more than just some "quick fling" that most men seek.

228 posted on 03/30/2008 8:54:49 PM PDT by Rca2000 (I am VERY fearful for the future of this nation......)
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To: Shadowstrike

I can’t imagine ANY woman being attracted to Jack Black. I can’t believe Laura Kightlinger dated him for so long. EWWW!!! Excuse me while I find a picture of Paul Walker to erase Jack Black’s putrid image out of my brain.


229 posted on 03/30/2008 9:01:57 PM PDT by toothfairy86
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To: WFTR
Well, from a biblical point of view, I just never really thought that the 'Garden of Eden' Adam and Eve got kicked out of was here. As for where humanity really originated...well if I knew I'd have a heck of alot more money than I currently do. Not a Scientologist by the way, before people ask me. Raised Missionary Baptist. Spent alot of time in Catholic churches, cause most of my friends are Catholic, so I guess you could call me a Cathtist (cause Baptlic just sounds too kinky) :)
230 posted on 03/30/2008 9:38:36 PM PDT by Shadowstrike (Be polite, Be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
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To: Shadowstrike

That’s an interesting idea. I’ve never thought of things in that way.


231 posted on 03/30/2008 10:22:10 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: WFTR

If marrying ugly is the key to happiness for ladies, then I ought to be a great catch!


232 posted on 03/31/2008 8:24:22 AM PDT by JamesP81 ("I am against "zero tolerance" policies. It is a crutch for idiots." --FReeper Tenacious 1)
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To: WFTR
Bonus Questions

1. What vegetables/fruits do you like? Which ones do you hate?

I'm not a particularly picky eater, I'll eat most anything.

2. What have you watched on TV this weekend?

I usually have the TV on, but I don't watch it. It generally serves the purpose of being a noise-maker after I watch the news or something. Why I don't play music, I don't know.

3. Are you planning any good April Fools' jokes for next week?

I'm not a fan of practical jokes, which is what the April Fool's jokes tend to be, in my experience.

233 posted on 03/31/2008 11:54:37 AM PDT by pigsmith (Viewing life as a gift from God, I tend to regard self-defense more as an obligation.)
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To: JamesP81

Me too!


234 posted on 03/31/2008 4:18:22 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: pigsmith

I’m not a big practical joker either.


235 posted on 03/31/2008 4:19:17 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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