Posted on 03/28/2008 3:56:43 PM PDT by WFTR
The last thread I hosted was called "The Bucket List" and was based loosely on a movie that I'd never seen. I'm repeating the idea of threads about movies I've never seen again this week. In my defense, this one wasn't my idea. Someone else suggested a discussion of platonic friendships between men and women and the idea from the "Harry met Sally" movie that those friendships can't exist. I'm going to add an idea from a news story this week in part because the story seemed amusing and in part because I wonder whether there is a connection.
From what I've heard, the idea behind the movie When Harry Met Sally is that men, or at least Bill Crystal's character, believe that they can never have a truly platonic relationship with a woman because they'll eventually want to have sex with that woman. I don't remember whether this idea applies only to situations where the man feels a strong physical attraction to a woman or whether any man will eventually want to have sex with any woman. Apparently, "Harry" claims that this desire will eventually doom the friendship because the man won't be able to endure the stress of the unfulfilled desire.
The second part of the topic is a short article that was published this week claiming that the happiest marriages are those where the woman is more physically attractive than the man. The whole article is only a few sentences and can be found at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340869,00.html. Important points in the article include the fact that only 82 couples were included in the study and that they had been married only six months. The study that led to the article requires a subscription to read, so I don't know whether the details of the study strengthen the idea.
Combining these topics leads to several points of discussion.
First, do you agree with the idea that men and women cannot form platonic friendships? Are those friendships destined to be disrupted by sexual desire on one side or the other? If so, does that desire generally come from the man? If those friendships are possible, what are the factors that lead to those friendships and what are the factors that make them impossible? Is appearance a big part of the equation?
Secondly, do you agree with the idea that marriages will generally be better if the woman is more attractive than the man? Obviously, if you're a guy, you're going to look at any couple and find the woman more attractive, but in a more objective sense, will the relationship be stronger if the woman is more attractive? If you're a gal, you're likely to see things just the opposite, but the same question applies.
That’s fine, I didn’t see who was going to to actually start the thread so I thought I’d take the initiative.
If I liked those things enough to grow them and eat them, I’d be a much healthier man. I’m impressed with folks who grow and eat their own vegetables.
Pracaticality.
If you are close lifetime buddies you might get less static if you want to live in the same house.
But what I experienced with my close platonic friend was when he was in the hospital dying it would have been much better had we been married so I could have been there more and in on decisions. I still was but it was a major hassle and when the marriage solution dawned on me he was too ill and confused to really be competent. This hospital thing is also a reason many gays give for wanting to be able to marry.
“If I liked those things enough to grow them and eat them, I’d be a much healthier man. I’m impressed with folks who grow and eat their own vegetables.”
I’m “trying” to grow veggies. I got two inches of snow on the ground this morning and as we type I have big, fat flakes of glo-bull warming continuing to fall from the sky.
Somewhere Algore weeps in the night.
No and I don't know. Right now the Braves are on Peachtree TV. I'm glad because I love watching them on tv in the hot humid evenings.
2. What are you doing with your extra hour of daylight in the evenings?
Watch tv. Once I get home and come in the house the sky can do whatever it wants.
3. What will you do with your tax rebate check?
I pray I won't have an emergency. I want to save it.
Are you turning your lights off for an hour tomorrow night for Earth Hour?
I’m not.
Not just no, but HELL No! In fact, we're turning on all of the lights in our house, the headlights on our cars, and I might light up a aromatic cigar. :) I suggest you all do the same.
“First, do you agree with the idea that men and women cannot form platonic friendships?”
Depends on the couple, I like Chris Rocks’ take on “platonic” friends.
“The second part of the topic is a short article that was published this week claiming that the happiest marriages are those where the woman is more physically attractive than the man.”
This is likely true. I once ended a relationship because she was way to fugly to be that much of a b*tch.
I can see where that plan would be an advantage. I still think that our society needs something other than marriage that would give the same advantages without specifically being a marriage. I see marriage as something that is supposed to have some very specific meaning, and if that meaning doesn’t exist, I hate to see marriage used that way.
I’m turning all mine ON. And turning UP the heat - for that one hour. Just to be contrary! lol
I can see where snow on the ground would be a frustration to the gardener. Where I live, we didn’t even have snow this year. In some ways, I’m just as happy without snow. In other ways, I’d still like to see a little bit.
I haven’t followed baseball in a long time. Back when I was a fan, I liked the Braves.
I’m still a fan after all these years but I’m fed up with all the stupidity in sports in general.
Yes, although when your friend gets married or finds a girlfriend, you have to be friends with them too, and that can be slightly dicey.
Less Attractive member of the couple
Not sure I agree with this one, I suppose it depends on what your definition of attractive is. Metrosexual men, or men who very obviously spend more time getting ready than I do are a turn off. I am old fashioned. I prefer a Man. You know, conservative, family values, understands that right and wrong actually mean right and wrong... and they are hard to meet in person. (Especially if you know only a few people in town, and they are all FReepers!!) :-)
Bonus Questions
1. Have you been following the NCAA basketball tournament? How are your teams doing?
Don't follow basketball, but I was in Vegas for the first rounds and there were some really close games, those last couple of minutes are pretty exciting. :-)
2. What are you doing with your extra hour of daylight in the evenings?
Being Happy I don't have to drive home in the dark. I hate driving at night. I'm a total nervous nelly about driving at night. lol
3. What will you do with your tax rebate check?
I already spent my standard, paid down on a card. I'm going to do the same thing with the rebate in May. $600.00 will darn near pay the thing off. YEA!
Sheesh... I am so BORING!
What’s Chris Rock’s take on platonic friends? I don’t listen to him.
I've kept one or two relationships on the friendship level because I just felt no attraction to the woman in question. As I came to know them better, I sometimes realized that appearance was the least of the reasons why they were not right for me.
As far as I can tell, women take looks into account, just like men do, so in short, no.
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