just when you think you've heard it all...
1 posted on
03/28/2008 3:09:04 PM PDT by
kingattax
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To: kingattax
There must have been a sliver of hope that the table would love him back but alas it wood knot.
2 posted on
03/28/2008 3:10:42 PM PDT by
cripplecreek
(Voting CONSERVATIVE in memory of 5 children killed by illegals 2/17/08 and 2/19/ 08)
To: kingattax
Its the next grossest thing to having sex with a bicycle.
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
3 posted on
03/28/2008 3:11:02 PM PDT by
goldstategop
(In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
To: kingattax
4 posted on
03/28/2008 3:11:24 PM PDT by
fishtank
(Fenced BORDERS, English LANGUAGE, Patriotic CULTURE: A good plan.)
To: kingattax
Before long they’ll be fighting for his right to marry the table.
5 posted on
03/28/2008 3:11:36 PM PDT by
ElkGroveDan
(When you choose the lesser of two evils, you still have evil.)
To: kingattax
His friends are all laughing at him becuase he picked the ugliest table in the park.
6 posted on
03/28/2008 3:11:41 PM PDT by
joebuck
(Finitum non capax infinitum!)
To: kingattax
Stay away from the potato salad.
7 posted on
03/28/2008 3:11:45 PM PDT by
neodad
(USS Vincennes (CG 49) "Checkmate Cruiser")
To: kingattax
What are those holes?
They’re knotholes.
Well then, if they’re not holes, what are they?
Knotholes.
8 posted on
03/28/2008 3:11:57 PM PDT by
Migraine
(Diversity is great...(until it happens to YOU).)
To: kingattax
Pictures of the picnic table?
9 posted on
03/28/2008 3:12:07 PM PDT by
stevio
(Crunchy Con - God, guns, guts, and organically grown crunchy nuts.)
To: kingattax
I just don't think you can "have sex" with a pinic table...
Hopefully there were splinters involved.
10 posted on
03/28/2008 3:12:15 PM PDT by
frankenMonkey
(101st Airborne Army Dad)
To: kingattax; Responsibility2nd; MarkMyWord; EveningStar; jdm
You wood know he’d be caught, too.
11 posted on
03/28/2008 3:12:28 PM PDT by
Froufrou
To: kingattax
I remember once, in band camp....
To: kingattax
Since when is it a crime to have sex with a consenting picnic table?
To: kingattax
He may face some minor legal difficulties over this, but he'll come out way ahead after considering the alternative.
Dating women, marriage, child support, alimony, kids thru college,..........
I'll take the table any day.
16 posted on
03/28/2008 3:13:29 PM PDT by
blackdog
To: kingattax
“Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.”
I’m sure the picnic table fought back hard.
17 posted on
03/28/2008 3:13:58 PM PDT by
NoGrayZone
(A Lesser Evil Is Still Evil.)
To: kingattax
WTH? Was it a 'public' picnic table or 'private'? How much was the table charging? I hope he used protection.
21 posted on
03/28/2008 3:14:33 PM PDT by
BGHater
($2300 is the limit of your Free Speech.)
To: kingattax
Will the table get a book deal?
To: kingattax
Prison scene:
"Yew gotcha a purdy mouth. What're ya in fer, boy?"
"Having sex with a picnic table."
"Git away fum me, pervert!"
To: kingattax
During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Kind of turned the tables on himself, with that...
Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.
Is that corruption of a minor?
28 posted on
03/28/2008 3:15:39 PM PDT by
Old Sarge
(CTHULHU '08 - I won't settle for a lesser evil any longer!)
To: kingattax
Policeman:
Sir, would you like to explain yourself here?
Man
Oh wood I, wood I...
29 posted on
03/28/2008 3:16:14 PM PDT by
Nachum
To: kingattax
It is difficult to determine “guilty” or “not guilty” without a photo of the picnic table.
32 posted on
03/28/2008 3:16:45 PM PDT by
Drew68
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